VOLUNTEER SUPPORT GROUP

MONDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2024 (5:00-6:30PM)

Please SAVE THE DATE for our October meeting -- an opportunity for in-service education to enhance specific skills, knowledge and competencies. Whether or not you currently have a patient/family assignment, we encourage active volunteers (whose annual requirements are up-to-date) to participate. Come connect with other volunteers and share your experiences and insights! Light refreshments provided. Kauai Hospice Conference Room. (RSVPs are appreciated.)

VIDEO: HOW TO HELP A GREIVING FRIEND: THE ANIMATION

BY: MEGAN DIVINE

(3:59 minutes)

It's hard to know what to do when someone is going through a difficult time. The thing is, you can't cheer someone up by telling them to look on the bright side, or by giving them advice. It just doesn't work. Watch this short video to learn the one thing that will help you support others in the most helpful and effective ways. Megan Devine is a best-selling author, psychotherapist, podcaster, and grief advocate. Over the past decade, she has pioneered a more empathetic, inclusive and skillful response to grief of all kinds. Her website has resources for grievers, supporters and professionals at: https://refugeingrief.com/ . 

ARTICLE: 30 DYING PEOPLE EXPLAIN WHAT REALLY MATTERS

BY: PHILIPPA KELLY, THE GUARDIAN (Jan. 27, 2024) 

The Guardian spoke with 30 people with terminal diagnoses. The one common thread? They all felt empowered to fully embrace life once they realized they were dying. Facing death, these people found a clarity about how to live. These 17 men and 13 women from the US, England, Canada, Wales, and Netherlands candidly share their insights. Read the full article to see how they each changed their lives and perspectives on living.

YOUTUBE: CHILDREN AT A DEATHBED? 

BY: SARAH KERR, PhD - The Centre for Sacred Deathcare

(1:37 minutes)

When a beloved family member is dying, parents need to decide how to best support their children through the process. We want to make the best decision for kids, and to protect them from pain, but what about the kid’s perspective? "I've worked with so many people who decades after the fact still regret and mourn that they weren't taken to an important funeral or that they didn't get to say goodbye," says Dr. Sarah Kerr. This brief video provides a great perspective for parents to consider in making these choices.  Click here to watch.

DOCUSERIES FILM: TAKE ME OUT FEET FIRST

BY: SERENE MESHEL-DILLMAN

(YouTube Trailer 1:49 minutes)

Produced in 2024, this 6-part series chronicles the journey of 25 terminally ill individuals and their loved ones as they confront the sensitive and complex decision of choosing the procedure known as Medical Assistance in Dying or MAID. The first episode follows filmaker Meshal-Dillman’s parents, who at separate times utilized MAID. Speaking about her mother, she says “I’m sharing this story because it shows the courage, determination, and love she embodied in her final moments. She taught us that there's grace in being in charge of your own destiny.” The viewer is along for the entire MAID process including the consulting physician video call, last goodbyes with friends and family, and the actual moment of death. It is a very graphic and very powerful program. Watch the compelling trailer. 

ARTICLE: DOCTORS SAVED HER LIFE. SHE DIDN’T WANT THEM TO.

BY: KATE RAPHAEL (August 2024)

When her “do not resuscitate” order was ignored, Marie Cooper found herself in a painful situation she had hoped to avoid. The full story is available here. Below are some key excerpts: 

Because resuscitation lacks a clear definition, medical staff can misunderstand what patients want. Some research has shown that patients with D.N.R. orders may not receive lifesaving treatment even before cardiac arrest, and mortality rates are worse for D.N.R. patients, even when adjusted for disease severity. Interventions such as transfusions, antibiotics and dialysis are still permitted under an active D.N.R., but clinicians are sometimes confused about whether this care can be administered.

A 2017 survey of 553 residents in the United States found that a substantial portion would have made incorrect decisions to withhold necessary medical care for a D.N.R. patient: In one scenario, 41 percent said they would not transfer the patient to the intensive care unit and 62 percent would not have administered dialysis. Some doctors believe diagnostic tests should not be ordered for D.N.R. patients, even though these procedures are permitted under the order.

“Do not resuscitate does not mean do not treat,” said Mathew Pauley, a bioethicist at the Kaiser Permanente hospital system in California. Yet some clinicians still assume it does, he added, recalling a case he consulted on when nurses misinterpreted a D.N.R. patient’s plan of care. The nurses wanted to withhold use of a BiPAP machine, which provides breathing support through a face mask and is permitted under a D.N.R. Mr. Pauley prefers the term “allow natural death” because it frames the choice as a positive one, rather than one of withholding care.

BLOG: THE BIRTHDAY OF THE WORLD

BY: MARGE PIERCY (October 6, 2019)

"Rosh Hashonah is in Jewish ritual just that, the birthday of the world. It also begins the Days of Awe, a period of self-reflection when we consider what we have done and undone of what we intended to do and what we must change. It is also a period in which you must go to anyone you have offended or injured in any way and make amends. It is also a period in which you must forgive those who ask it of you.

Finally, the Days of Awe leading to Yom Kippur are a time we consider our own death – both the small deaths of our failures and the final death we all must experience. We also remember those who have died in the year that just ended and those who died long before. Marge Piercy is a novelist, poet and memoirist; click to visit her blog.

YOUTUBE VIDEO: The Case for Death Education in High Schools

Austin Roy, Teacher, Flintridge Preparatory School

(3:01 minutes)

Health education & sex education are well-accepted elements of a strong school curriculum, but why not death education -- one of our most commonly shared human experiences? Austin Roy, is a teacher at Flintridge Preparatory School in LA and teaches 10th Grade American Lit and a 12th grade course on Joan Didion. “Death education is not something we teach in schools. But it should be. We will all encounter death and most of us are unprepared for it. I am speaking not merely of the emotional aspects of death (grief, mourning, melancholia), but also of the logistical complexities: hospice, advance directives, DNRs, POLST forms, physician aid-in-dying. We expect everyone to figure it out, to navigate without a map. This is not merely irresponsible, it’s unethical. This is why we need death education.” Click to watch.