The practice of yoga can be described in many ways depending on which of it's many benefits we might be focusing on. Just lately i have been narrowing it down according to two of the sutras in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. He says yoga is "being now" and he describes yoga postures as a practice of an "easeful seat". Which is translated to mean both an conformable "seat" physically as well as internally.
Relaxation is an essential part of finding our way to this easeful internal seat, and I speak of it continually while teaching. How to soften, release and surrender into the present moment, and to the natural flow of life. Which it looks like to me that we have become disconnected from. Even though we know, on a mind level, that everything, including ourselves, come and go, we tend to grip, to tense up, and hold on. We wish for life to stay the way it is, or be the way it always has. It's like we don't really know on a soul level that there is a natural ebb and flow to life and everything in it. Jobs, homes, material possessions, money and people, all come and go. When we grasp a hold, we disrupt this natural flow and end up out of sync.
For me, the most challenging lesson in letting go has been to understand that sometimes we even have to let go of people that we love. Not just because they died, but when they are still alive. It takes courage as it is not necessarily an easy journey, there will be pain when it's someone close to us. We have to love ourselves enough to set the boundaries that are needed when someone hurts us repetitively, and they don't change their behavior even though we bring it to there awareness. And if we take this difficult step, there can be both a sense of freedom and relief down the road. After all, when we are being mistreated or abused, we could go on forever complaining about it, and keep suffering, but nothing positive will come out of it. And if the person is not responding to what we voice, it's kind of silly to think that it's their job to change it. At that point it's completely up to us. We are the only ones who can teach someone else how to treat us, we have to set the boundaries. And sometimes it means we have to turn our back to them and leave. When needed, we owe it to ourselves. or at least, that is what I have come to see over the years. I, just like you, have the power to move on when that is the only thing left for us. I hope you have the courage and self love needed whenever you might be in this situation. Remember, boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal and necessary.
"Whatever you are willing to put up with,
is exactly what you will have."