Cheers to Fall, Y'all!

Here we are in the 4th quarter of what may seem like a year that has lasted two years already. Give yourself credit for being here, standing tall, and taking on what is happening!

This month's article is about change and our process of addressing change - offering 4 phases to moving through circumstances - good and not-so-good, planned and unplanned. Additionally, the lessons learned segment is about what I've learned from being in through part of being an organ donor (with a few surprises shared).

Cheers with anticipation and appreciation,

Debbie

Typically when people ask me about change it is regards to communication, so I share my belief that it is not necessarily change that people dislike, rather the way change is communicated, or the lack of communication around change, that is not likeable...

While that concept, and that perspective, remains true, there is more to the concept of approaching change than the communication of a decision. 

Please consider the following: there are four phases of/to change, and they include: Impact, Recovery, Healing, and Excellence. Most people stay in the first phase or the second phase, at times move somewhat into the third, and rarely even approach or strive for the fourth - not because they don't want to, instead, because they do not realize it is possible.

To disclose the realization of it all, here's a breakdown of the phases for processing through change fully:

Healing is the process of mentally, emotionally and physically getting whole. Healing is not simply being over the impact, it is the thorough experience of facing what is new versus what was, and not only seeming beyond impact, it is becoming the person with the impact in the past, having it in one's history. This is not denying what happened or ignoring it, it is facing what that means, embracing the results and being the full being who does not wish things were different, longing for the past, or hoping the future will get "back to where it was before". There is no "back to normal", as change makes the dynamic new and different.

Some people really heal. Healing is intentional for the most part. Some experience a healing that feels "out of body" or "soul-satisfying" by what is revealed. Perhaps it is the openness that the healer embraces that allows for the healing to happen. Mind, body, spirit healing is about letting go of what was, and letting what is becoming be embraced through evolution and effort. A lot of people resist healing, for it feels like a slow impact, and that means more change, so that is stopped. Those who heal are those who fully feel and those who want to deal with what has or has not been altered and accept it not in defeat, it is to accept it in embrace and wholeness.

For the small group that experiences healing, there is an even smaller amount of people who get to excellence and then achieve excellence. Excellence is being grateful for each part of the process and imagining what can be, making a plan, no matter how challenging, to act toward the goal/dream that is an excellent state and place for that person. Excellence is achieved when restrictions from the past and even the most current doubts are overcome with actions and directions that make for a path and results never experienced before. Excellence is home to the few, and yet there is room for so many more!

These some and few can become many and nearly all now that people know what is possible with and through change!

While the communication or lack of communication around change can be part of a dislike of change, the embracing of the process of full cycle change - the impact, the recovery, the healing and the excellence, is something an individual, a pair, a team, group or organization can utilize to be the best, and never to be defined by the change!

People can survive with just one healthy kidney, so someone with two healthy kidneys may choose to donate one. This is called a living donor transplant. I am a living donor.

• It takes more than a matched blood type to be a kidney donor (admittedly, I hadn't thought about it before this year, and if pressed, blood match would have been what I would have guessed was how people donated a kidney). While that is the start, there are such an array of tests from urine to tissue typing to kidney function and stress tests that the amount of time it takes is not terrific, it is enough that requires scheduling and planning to spend work hours getting poked and prodded!
• 650,000 is the number of Americans facing end-stage renal disease
• 468,000 is the number of Americans on dialysis, which is what is required if no kidney match is found
• There are approximately 4 times the number of people in need of kidneys than there are available kidneys
• Various sources give statistics on being a match, and it is over a 1 in 100,000 chance a non-relative will be a match for donating a kidney (I was for the recipient, Debra), and yet there are paired exchanges, or 'kidney swaps.' During a kidney swap, transplant recipients who have willing live donors essentially swaps donor organs. For patients who have a willing but incompatible donor, the strategy allows people who need a kidney to receive an organ that is a match. How cool is that!?!?   

With all that in mind, through the entire 5 month process, I have been, and continue to be grateful to be ahead of the statistics. Based on the experience with the Transplant team and the Kidney Donor Athletes group, so much of this is due to the state of mind and health I was in pre-donation, as others in that encouraging group have shared similar experiences. Above all else, health and happiness are foundational for everything, and now, here are the four take-aways or areas of learning, so far:

• Pain & discomfort. The pain was FAR LESS than ever imagined, and the discomfort was far different than anticipated. The pain is gone. I had pain, true pain, at a low level through the 4th day only. It was a 2/5 at most. I am grateful for that, and still working through the discomfort. The tugs on the skin, the overdoing it at times brings that discomfort right back. It will likely all subside. Other donors say they have some discomfort forever when lifting weights or pushing their limits. The protrusion in my lower abdomen feels strange, admittedly, and yet the four scars are not a big deal to me. The surgeon said think of them as a "Badge of Honor", and still, many people state they won't go through the process due to the scaring. That never crossed my mind that a few marks for life would keep me from contributing to someone else's extended life and quality of life.
• Sleep & rest. Never underestimate the need for sleep (no, not speed, sleep!). Prior to the donation, I was someone who could sleep at the drop of a hat. If I wanted to, and I did, sleeping through an opening act at a concert while people screamed around me was something that was not only possible, it was done. Before donating my right kidney, I trained myself to sleep on my back (before face/stomach sleeping was typical). Even though that habit was formed, sleep was the most strange and disrupted. I highly recommend ensuring anyone who has surgery get or have a recliner first. A recliner was my resting place. It was a place to get a lift where needed. We ended up buying a sleep number bed after a week of the crazy battle to get zzzzs, and it seems to be working. I was a huge proponent of 20-minute power naps previously, and I still am now, only they are in "Zero G" on the sleep number! The tiredness was shocking and still kicks my but even though I am working out, eating clean, and walking and/or running 35-50 miles a week).
• People & personal. People have been spectacular supporters. The generosity of strangers has been heart-warming. The consistency and kindness has inspired me, someone who reaches out a lot, to do more! Some people have been radio silent, and that works, too. I will not be upset, and yet I will be excited to see some people more than others. Going through the process of change (from the article tip), I am in healing and plan to move through to excellence and achieve it. The people who will be there will be hugely appreciated. Every card, text and message of thoughtfulness personally was a point for pushing. People say "Don't take things personally", and yet we are persons, so how else will we take them. The personal touches people gave me were, and are, valued! Michael, my husband, was an outstanding support, and having a team of 8 communicating out was reassuring, too. Now, Michael forgets that it may take a while for me to get up or lifting something is still something to consider before quickly doing it, so our joke is "You know I only have one kidney, and it has only been X number of week, right?" We both nearly forget at times and that is good, as it is becoming part of how we as people navigate it!
• Identify & Identity. As proud as I am to identify as someone who gave a kidney, a #OneBeaner, and to be an Organ Donor, a living organ donor at that, being any of these labels is not my sole identity. This has changed my life, yes, and habits such as water intake, bathroom planning, protein lessening, getting up and down from a chair and other things will be incorporated as my now-moving-forward-self, they are aspects of how I function, and not my only function or focus. I want people to see me as Debbie Lundberg, and all I do, and being a kidney donor as something for which I identify with and smile in hopes of encouraging others.