I once heard Seena Frost say that she regularly asked herself this question: Have I been faithful to my child today? She was referring to her “inner child” of course, not one of her biological offspring. Seena also recommended that every SoulCollager create a Committee card for their Happy Child. I made a Happy Child card right away, and as I continued with my SoulCollage® practice, I found myself creating several different cards for my own Inner Child. After hearing Seena suggest that we give names to our cards, I decided to call my Inner Child Julianna which was the name of my favorite childhood doll.

Seena also encouraged us to separate out the various childlike energies onto individual cards. This inspired me to notice the varying energies and emotions of my Inner Child and to create cards for each of them. My deck now contains cards to honor my inner Happy Child, Creative Child, Playful Child, and Mystical Child.

I also did inner work over the course of a few years that involved some shadowed aspects of my inner child, and out of that work came cards that reflected my Rebellious Child, my Lonely Child, and my Shamed Child.

When I was growing up, showing emotions other than happiness and gratitude were not acceptable, so it was a healing and affirming process to honor each aspect, each face, each feeling of my Inner Child with its own beautiful card. My Rebellious Child, when young, was never given space to be angry. My Lonely Child was often tucked into bed with no one to wipe away her tears. My Shamed Child was brought up with the feeling of “not enough.” Giving each of them image and voice through the SoulCollage® process has given them (and consequently, me) the emotional acceptance that I never experienced as a child.

Along the way, I also created a card with an image of myself at twelve years old, surrounded by Divine Beings. I've come to believe that these divine beings were with me, even when my childhood took an abusive and difficult turn. Having that particular card in my deck now is a beautiful reminder that I was (and am) never alone. I also made a card called Mommy and Me, which represents how my Inner Child now feels about having an Inner Mother who accepts her exactly as she is.

As you can see, sometimes creating a series of cards for your deck turns into its own journey! I hope that you will find inspiration in my tribe of Inner Children (you can see them all on this page, just scroll down a bit), and that you will find your own unique ways to be faithful to your Inner Child.

Do you have a card for your Happy Child? If not, set an intention to find some images and create one. If you do have one, set it on your desk or nightstand where you will see it often. Make time to do some journaling with your Happy Child. What does she/he need from you this week?

Flip through some magazines and rip out images of children that call to you. Here are some aspects of our inner children that might like to be honored with a card: wounded, lonely, creative, magical, playful, happy, sad, rebellious, wounded, shy, frightened, guilty, shamed, secure. Are there other Inner Child voices that are important for you to honor with a card?

Journal with this question: How can I be more faithful to my inner child this week?

Anne Marie Bennett is a SoulCollage® Facilitator / Trainer, published author, website goddess, and two-time cancer survivor who was mentored directly by Seena Frost. In 2005, she fell in love with SoulCollage® and was inspired to use her professional experience along with web technology as a means to serve the world by putting SoulCollage® "out there" in a really big way with KaleidoSoul. Anne Marie lives in eastern Massachusetts with her middle-aged husband, one adolescent feline, and a treasury of birds, squirrels and chipmunks who keep them hopping. Her other books about SoulCollage® are available here.

Date: Tuesday, July 26, 2022

FR*EE for our KaleidoSoul Kindred Spirit members.

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Standing on a sandy hill, expansive beach stretches out for miles to my left and right, receiving the caress of ocean waves. Behind me, rows of nearly identical houses mirror the ocean line.

However, my attention isn’t on the houses, the soft sand, or the waves’ rhythm. I’m focused on the lone figure: a tiny child with her back to me, singing to herself as she digs in the sand. My heart races as I approach her, eager to connect, yet terrified at what she might say or demand of me.

I sit in the sand and wait for her to acknowledge my presence. I can see she’s very young, her white-blonde hair framing a face barely over three years old. After a long, curious silence, she turns to me, eyebrows raised in a question.

“Hello,” I say. “I’m here to ask if you’re willing to come home with me.”

She stands and faces me, eye to eye.

“I’m willing, but I have conditions,” she replies.

Heart racing, I say, “Please, tell me what they are and I’ll do them.”

“I need to feel safe.”

“What can I do to make you feel safe,” I ask.

She shrugs her tiny shoulders. “Don’t know, that’s for you to figure out.”

“Ok, I will….”

My voice fades out, as the rhythmic sound of the drum rises in my awareness. I look her in the eyes once more as the drumbeat tugs at me. We smile at each other, then I begin to rise, riding the drum out of this internal landscape. Moments later I’m in the dark room where my body lies on a table, and I hear Jana welcoming me back.

* * * * * *

This shamanic journey with Jana Din at the Tao Center for Healing was the first time I used a spiritual process to heal old childhood wounds. I learned that hurtful experiences from my early life had caused aspects of myself to fraction off from the whole, to dis-integrate and become trapped somewhere I couldn’t easily access. In the shamanic healing context, Jana would say that I had lost a part of my soul, and needed a soul-retrieval. In the context of the science of trauma, one might say that I’d become dissociated. And from the perspective of SoulCollage®, there were Neters that I’d lost connection with, internal parts of me needing to express.

Some of the difficulties I experienced at the time—loss of intuition, emotional numbness, and difficulty making decisions—could be traced to the loss of these parts. The remedy included reconnection with them, a pathway to listen and respond.

When I returned home after the soul retrieval session, I made a SoulCollage® card for the Neter (little girl) I’d met on the beach. I knew her: the part of me who’d lost her dad to divorce and refused to leave the San Francisco beachfront apartment where I’d lived the first three years of life with my parents. This tiny part of my soul had stayed behind when my life was disrupted by divorce, a move across the Bay, and the start of a rough time for me and my mom.

Now I needed to re-integrate her, so I could better navigate the challenges of my life as an adult facing a painful divorce of my own. To do that, I needed to help her feel safe. I didn’t know yet what that meant or required, but I knew SoulCollage® could help me learn.

First was the Committee card Inner Safety (see above), honoring this lost part of me who’d been so hurt by the breaking of our family. I am one who has been destabilized. Until I sense inner safety, I choose to stay on these rocks rather than risk growth and change.  

I’ve consulted this card many times on questions related to my sense of safety and stability, and have learned so much from her. It’s an on-going conversation, and even now, years later, I’m still learning and responding to the multi-layered answers. It’s a challenge and an honor to work with this tiny, vulnerable part of me who holds knowledge and insights from my earliest days of life, sharing in small pieces as she slowly learns to trust and return.

With her help, I met one of my most important Neters: Lyonesse (Committee Suit). I am one who feels the overwhelming waves of sadness, anger and fear crashing down, and who pushes them back with the strength of my roar.

When faced with the daunting and esoteric task of figuring out what my lost Inner Child needed, it was a huge relief to have SoulCollage® to turn to, perfectly designed for the task. As you encounter moments in life when you need to integrate lost parts of yourself, may you also be deeply supported and inspired by medicine of SoulCollage®.

Michaela Daystar trained as a SoulCollage® Facilitator in 2013 with Mariabruna Sirabella and Seena Frost, and since then has brought SoulCollage® into myriad spaces, from college classrooms to government agencies. Michaela is also trained in the Japanese origins of the system of Reiki through the International House of Reiki, and teaches all levels of Reiki at her wellness studio in Davis, California, as well as on-line. In all endeavors, Michaela calls on ritual and intimate connection with the land and the seasons to draw participants into our innate ability to connect and collaborate with the Web of Life. Visit Michaela at her website, HeartScapes.

August: The Fool

September: Friendship

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