Office Folklore
Folk is people.
Lore is wisdom.
Folklore is wisdom of the people.
Signs on cubicle wall
You don't have be crazy to work here. We'll train you.
Cubicle sweet cubicle.
This job is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job you would have received raises, promotions and other signs of appreciation.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
We, the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible, for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long, with so little we are now qualified to do anything, with nothing.
In the Beginning
In the beginning was the Plan.
And then came the Assumptions,
and the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was completely without substance.
And the Darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
And they spoke among themselves, saying:
"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors, and sayeth:
"It is a pail of dung, and none can abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them:
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong such that none can abide by it."
And the Managers went unto the Directors and sayeth:
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none can abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another:
"It contains that which aids plant growth and is very strong."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents, and sayeth unto them:
"It promises growth, and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, and sayeth unto him:
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this company, and certain areas in particular."
And the President looked upon the Plan.
And saw that it was good,
and the Plan became Policy.
And this is how shit happens.
Your performance evaluation
My supervisor told me she was preparing my performance evaluation and wanted my input. She asked me to send her an email identifying three areas that I felt needed improvement.
I wrote back and said "my eyesight, my hearing and my sense of humor."
Diversity training for managers
A group of managers recently participated in an intensive diversity training program. Now they can say "shut up and get back to work" in three different languages. (With thanks to Julie McCall).
The whips inside us
Many whips are inside us but we don't know how they got there, or indeed that they are there. In the movement from authority to manipulation, power shifts from the visible to the invisible, from the known to the anonymous. Exploitation becomes less material and more psychological.
-- C.Wright Mills in
White Collar
, edited.
