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 You've Got This!
I think it's probably fair to say that most of us spend a chuck of our day worrying about things that are out of our control, like what other people think of us, or how our kids are living their lives, even the choices our boss is making about things that are happening in the workplace.

Here's the truth, to live happier, fuller lives we need to remember what we do have control over. It's those "little things," that open up possibilities and even out the playing field and round out the edges of life.

Remember these:   

1. The past cannot be changed - It's over, done, water under the bridge. There is absolutely no reason to spend time in the past, focus on the here and now and choose to live in the present. Keep the good memories, let the not-so-good memories go and move forward. Sometimes you need to forgive someone before you can move ahead. Remember forgiveness is for you, so you can get on with your life.

2. Opinions don't define you or your reality - If you've read any of my past newsletters you've heard this one: "What you think of me is none of my business." In fact the only opinion of you that matters is the opinion of the person looking back at you in the mirror. If someone has something negative to say about you, that's on them, not you. Hold your head up, choose to be the best version of yourself you know how to be today and commit to doing a bit better tomorrow.


3. Everyone is on their own path - Until you know another person's story, try not to judge where they are, what they're doing, or how they're living their life. Unless you've experienced what they're going through there is simply no way you can comprehend why they do what they do, or understand how they feel. One of my daily affirmations is: "I allow others to be themselves." It's not always easy, because I'm a control freak, but it usually helps to alleviate my stress and worry.

4.Things really do get better with time - The best healer is time! It won't make the pain go away, but it will make the pain more bearable. Once you have a bit of time between you and what happened you'll be able to breathe easier, sleep more peacefully and open your heart, again. Go easy on yourself and don't let someone else's definition of how long it should take to heal from a hurt, determine your journey through healing.

5. You're responsible for your happiness - That's it, plain and simple. It's your job to make you happy NOT anyone else; not your significant other, not your kids, not your grandkids, or your BFF! Your happiness is on your shoulders. Everyone else, well, their happiness is their job. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be kind, compassionate, understanding, patient and considerate with the people with whom you live and work, but it does mean if they want to be happy, they need to work on their happiness and you need to work on your happiness. And BTW, happiness is a choice, I hope you choose happy!

6. Kindness is free - And it matters. Never miss an opportunity to make a difference by showing common courtesy and expressing kindness. You may never know just how your simple act of kindness may change someone's day, or life! With so few things FREE in life, why not freely give the one thing you can, no strings attached. Kindness really, truly and honestly matters - just do it!
7. If you never ask, the answer is always NO - Have you ever waited to ask for something because you're sure the answer will be no? Well if that's the worst thing that can happen, what do you have to lose? Better to ask and get a no and know where you stand, than to wait around, fearfully and make it worse on yourself. Go ahead and ask, research suggests that 8 times out of 10 when you DO ask the answer is yes. I don't know about you, but with odds like that I think I'll start asking more and worrying less.    

8. Positive thoughts create positive outcomes - You can't live a positive life with negative thoughts, but the good news is that the flip side of that statement is also true. When you choose to live your life in a positive way, with an upbeat attitude you'll get more positive outcomes in your life. In fact, in an article published in the Harvard School of Public Health Journal (Winter 2011), certain personality attributes such as emotional vitality (a sense of enthusiasm, hopefulness and engagement); Optimism (a perspective that good things will happen); a supportive network of family and friends and being good at "self-regulation," (bounding back from stressful situations) all factor in to living longer, happier and healthier lives. Now that's positive news for positive people!

9. Loving yourself is the greatest gift you will ever give the world - Loving and accepting yourself, perhaps one of the most difficult things to truly do, is actually one of the best things you can accomplish. First, you offer a positive role model for your family, especially your children and grandchildren. Second, taking care of yourself makes good sense because when you practice self-care you make everything you do easier and fundamentally more enjoyable by reducing stress and increasing your fun factor. Laughter is good medicine but loving yourself is the cure!

It all boils down to this: You are the sum total of your choices. Every choice you have ever made has brought you to this point in time. Your choices and how you respond to situations are in your control - Remember - You've got this!
See you on the road...Katreena and Jeff 

Jeff & Katreena's   Anchor4
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Career Services Network, LLC                       Anchor6
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