Or Chadash Winter 2017/2018 Newsletter
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In This Issue
Service Schedule
In Our Community
Rabbi's Message
President's Message
Educator's Message
Cantor's Message
What You Might Have Missed
Registration Quick Links
Shabbat  Service Schedule
Shabbat Window  
Feb 23:
Shabbat Services with Rabbi Forman and Cantor Jeff Warschauer, 7:30 PM

Mar 2:
Shabbat Experience "The Climate Crisis: Global and Local," 7:00 PM

Mar 9:
Kabbalat Shabbat Experience with Rabbi Forman, 6:30 PM

Mar 16:
Shabbat Services, 7:30 PM
In Our Community

Mazel Tov to . . .
Stephanie Orr for being named Teacher of the Year at Cedar Hill School in Bernards Township, NJ

Refuah Sh'leima (Get Well) to...
Susan Blaicher
Barbara Sansevere
Gary Weiss
Gail Silverman
Shirley Jaffe 
Jane Stein

Condolences to  ...
The Zalaznick family on the loss of Betsy's beloved aunt Joan Leon

The Hecht family on the loss of Alan's beloved father Melvin Hecht

The Tauscher family on the loss of Mike's beloved mother Ruth Tauscher

In order to help us be a more caring community, please share your lifecycle events with  Rabbi Forman
yahrzeit photo
Upcoming Yahrzeits 
May the memories of the following individuals be for a blessing:  
February 16
(To be read on Feb 23)
Margaret Mazzocchi
Mother of Nick Mazzocchi
Ralph Sacks
Father of Carolyn Sansevere
Julie Speizer
Sister of Louis Speizer
Beatrice R. Abrams 
Mother of Larry Abrams
Estelle Zaner
Grandmother of Adam Levison

February 23
Florence Solomon 
Mother of Wendy Solomon
Michael Hann 
Brother of Chris Hann
Charles Hack
Father of Ed Hack
Frederick Wolf
Grandfather of Steve Albert
Judy Lewis
Sister of Alice Schwade 

March 2  
Rabbi Judah Fish
Uncle of Rabbi Joseph Forman
Peppy Kluft
Aunt of Betsy Zalaznick
Fay Sacks
Grandmother of Jodi Brodsky
Anita Moutner
Mother of Dave Mountner

March 9  
Dale Moutner
Sister-in-law of Dave Moutner
Donald Corey
Father of Faith Frankel
Rochelle Ringel
Mother of Robin Lewy
Seymour Zwerling
Father of Eric Zwerling

March 16
Louis Eli Werstein
Grandfather of Leslie Hann
Leon Bach
Father of Evelyn Kurtzberg
Anna Gelb
Mother of Shirl Levy
Murray Bacal
Father of Jane Stein
Harold Golden
Father of Beth Golden
Lee J. Kenyon
Grandfather of Susan Albert
Fred Segall
Father of Michelle Segall-Rainey

March 23
Elsie Strauss
Mother of Joe Strauss
Gertrude Frankel
Mother of Fran Hack
Stanley Gold
Father of Harvey Gold
Irving Falk
Stepfather of Ross Weinick

March 30
(To be read on Apr 6)
Bernard Woir
Father of Caryn Speizer
Valentina Geylur
Grandmother of Sergey Wortman-Vayn
Betty Roberts
Mother of David Roberts
Harold Kern
Father of Allen Kern

Steve & Susan Albert
In memory of Joan Weinstein
Craig Erkkila & Ruby Halper-Erkkila
In memory of Blanche Margaret Erkkila
Ed & Fran Hack
In memory of Irving Frankel
Chris & Leslie Hann
In memory of Helen Kass and Bernard Wolf
Adam & Jana Levison
In memory of Betty Levison
Sherry Mazzocchi
In memory of Seymour and Evelyne Hersch
Robert & Alice Schwade
In memory of David Topf
Cindy Stoter
In memory of Kenneth House

General Contributions
Jeff & Christine Berg
Ed & Fran Hack
Ken Hillman
Craig & Sudha Kantor
Charles & Rochelle Nathanson
In honor of Erica, Scott, Paige, and Sydney Greenwald
Don & Sara Schenker
Martin Segal

Educational Enrichment Fund
Susan Ingram 
In honor of Betsy Zalaznick's receiving the Betsy Award
Bruce & Betsy Zalaznick
In honor of the marriage of Yi Luo to Aaron Schwartz
Bruce & Betsy Zalaznick
In memory of Glenn William Hagan
Bruce & Betsy Zalaznick
In memory of Jerry Lane
Bruce & Betsy Zalaznick
In memory of Melvin Hecht
Bruce & Betsy Zalaznick
In appreciation of Stephen Sinoway
Bruce & Betsy Zalaznick
In memory of Ruth Tauscher

Memorial Plaques
Alan Hecht & Maria Jose De La Hoz
In memory of Melvin Hecht
Bernard & Carol Miller
In memory of Helen Sherbet

Rabbi's Discretionary Fund
Dan & Jackie Freedman
Ed & Fran Hack
Patti Leon and Karen Leon in memory of Joan Leon
Joseph and Carolyn Sansever in memory of Ralph Sacks

Oneg Fund
David & Emily Schipper

Ner Shel Tzeddakah
Jeff & Christine Berg
Darren & Elizabeth Loew
In memory of Allison Vandal
David & Emily Schipper
Paul & Maureen Weiner

Life & Legacy Endowment
Chris & Leslie Hann
Legacy Circle Members
Larry & Beatrice Abrams 
Susan & Steve Albert
Adam & Audrey Belkin
Kimberly & Doug Beman
Jeff & Christine Berg
Jonathan & Alana Dambrot
Rabbi Joseph M. Forman
Dan & Jackie Freedman
Cantor Kathy Gohr
Harvey & Kathryn Gold
Matthew & Jaimee Gold
Steven Grumbach
Chris Hann & Leslie Werstein Hann
Alan Hecht & Maria Jose De La Hoz
Darren & Elizabeth Loew
David & Katherine Moutner
Gary & Susan Parilis
Nisim & Alexa Parliyan
Rick & Jill Rosenthal
Don & Sara Schenker
The Senator/Graybeal Family
The Sloan/Gong Family
Louis & Caryn Speizer
Andy & Jane Stein
Rabbi Richard F. Steinbrink
Caryn & Marc Tomljanovich
Renee Trambert
Kimberly & David Turner
Glenn & Eve Wasserman
Ross & Susan Weinick
Debbie & Gary Weiss
Mark and Kristina Witzling
Betsy & Bruce Zalaznick

Click here  for FAQ's  about Legacy Circle
Jewish Family Services

Jewish Family Services 

JFS is a non-profit, non-sectarian social service agency whose mission is to preserve and strengthen the quality of individual, family and community life based on Jewish values. We provide our services to a diverse socio-economic client population that includes individuals, children, young adults, families and the elderly.

 Click here for information on additional services.  


Meals On Wheels 
Meals on Wheels needs volunteer drivers in our area. Serve your homebound senior neighbors a hot noontime meal. The commitment to drive is only once a month. It will take only an hour or two once a month to get that good feeling of giving. Call our office at (908) 284-0735 to offer your time or for more information (and/or check out our website at mowih.org ). Help us, help others. Many thanks.  

In the Community
2017-2018 Jewish LIFE Program at SSBJCC in Bridgewater
This year's calendar is filled with many, many learning opportunities, cultural and community events that have been created for our Jewish LIFE tri-county audience.  The Melton School and iEngage return, as do the film evenings, a 3-part series on Muslim-Jewish relations, authors, holiday workshops and celebrations and much more.   Click here  for a printable version of the program brochure.

The Domestic Abuse Sexual Assault Crisis Center of Warren County (DASACC) offers many services. One such service is the Wardrobe of Hope. Any woman in need of clothing, shoes, and accessories, for any reason,  is welcome to visit. DASACC is currently in need of accessories - jewelry and scarves. If you have any items you wish to donate, please drop them in the pink box near the entrance of Or Chadash.

Rabbi's Message


This Shabbat -- the Shabbat right before Purim -- is known as Shabbat Zachor, the Sabbath of Remembrance.
There is a story in the Talmud that tells that Haman, the villain in the Purim story, is related to Amalek, the Biblical villain who attacked the Israelites as they left Egypt.  Tradition has it that on the Shabbat prior to Purim, we read this passage from Deuteronomy to remember what Amalek did.
But there is more than just remembering. First let me share this brief section from  Deuteronomy 25:17-19:
"Remember what Amalek did to you along the way when you came out of Egypt. How -- undeterred by fear of God -- when you were weary and worn out, he met you on your journey and attacked all who were lagging behind. Therefore, when the Lord your God gives you safety from all the enemies around you in the land the Lord is giving you to possess as an inheritance, you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven. Do not forget!"

We are told: Remember Amalek.
And we are told: Blot out the memory of Amalek.
And we are reminded: Do not forget!

This brief passage which we read on this Shabbat of Remembrance reminds us how we must not forget the tragedies that befall us -- that we can, perhaps, learn from our past.  It reminds us how difficult it is to eradicate the evils of our world, yet we must, and that, in time, we hopefully will no longer need to remember. And it admonishes us that in all likelihood we will forget all of this, and we will be subject to our own failings of memory.

This Shabbat we prepare for Purim's arrival.  Esther stands as a model of social change, as she devised a plan to save her community.  Our task, as well, is to become agents of social change.  Enough of the violence and death at the hands of guns!  Not a one of us would disagree.  How we shall change our nation is our path to determine. Indeed, there is room for discussion on how we might best achieve this.  The Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Chassidic Judaism, taught that: "in remembrance lies the secret of redemption."  Remember.  Do not forget.

Rabbi Joe Forman

President's Message
We live in a world full of urgency. We are quick to rush from one activity to another. We scurry from home to work and back home again. We feel an urgent need to complete tasks, to spend "quality" time with our loved ones, to answer e-mails and be current. We view with positivity words like "accelerate", "advance" and "expedite". Our world is in a rush, and so are we. Or Chadash is no exception. Behind the scenes, in the office, at the Board, we often have a sense of urgency. We want to have enough activities. We want to meet the needs of all the members of our community.  We want to engage and excite our children. And we want to do it all now.

In my current role I am glad that we have this sense of urgency at Or Chadash. I am glad that there are many who have a sense of urgency about making sure we are delivering the services that our members need and want, urgency about making sure the High Holydays run smoothly and urgency around making sure we are always living our mission to offer a caring and inclusive congregation that prays together, builds Jewish community through acts of Tikkun Olam, shares life's events and provides education for all ages.

I am grateful for all of this urgency as it helps Or Chadash to thrive. However, if I'm really honest, what I appreciate most about Or Chadash are the moments that I do not feel urgent at all. There are times when I am at Or Chadash when I feel like I can hit the metaphoric "pause button" in a really important way. These non-urgent moments happen in both the expected and sometimes the most surprising ways.

Probably the most expected moment when I am at Or Chadash and I feel like I am not rushing, not urgently trying to do anything, is at a service. Kol Nidre comes to mind, but it can happen at a regular Friday night service as well - that moment when I stop counting how many pages we have left and stop checking my watch. It's a moment when I am moved by the tune of a song, by a story Rabbi Joe has told or sometimes just by the English words on the page of a prayer we are reading. In these moments I forget to have a sense of urgency. I get lost in my thoughts. I spend time reflecting on myself, my family, the meaning of the words or the melody of the prayer. These are moments with no urgency, and they are invaluable to me.

There are other times when Or Chadash helps me to slow down that I truly treasure. These usually involve my children. Perhaps most surprising to me is that I have sometimes found a moment of non-urgency sitting on the bench in the hall waiting for a class to finish. In my non-Or Chadash life these moments of waiting are filled with urgency. When I am waiting for a soccer practice or tennis clinic to finish, I am impatient. I feel like I am wasting time. I could and should always be somewhere else, have something else to do, or am just waiting for the "quality" time I wanted to have driving around with my boys (not sure that always works out as they play on their phones, and I lecture them about whatever is on my mind!). However, there are moments where I am sitting on that hard bench in the Temple hallway where I pause and breathe. I am grateful in those moments that my boys are getting such an amazing Jewish education, that we have Or Chadash for them, and that they are happy to be here. These are moments without urgency that I treasure.

Lastly, there are moments where I lose the rush and roar of daily life when I am doing work for the Temple or participating in Temple events. When the Board had a retreat last month, to step back and think about the strategic needs of Or Chadash, I had one of these moments. I was listening to us talk about member engagement and listening to slews of ideas about who we are and who we want to be, and I had a moment when I realized we are not alone. I often value the perspective that Judaism gives me: I am only one in a long line of people who have come before me and in another long line of people who will come after me. Usually these moments come when I am saying the Shema or participating in a ceremony I know my ancestors' ancestors participated in. But last month I was watching the Board brainstorming, thinking and mostly caring so very much about what our community wanted and needed, and I realized that we are also part of a long line of temples throughout history which care deeply about meeting the needs of the congregation. In that moment I realized that we may have urgency about the tasks, but we can have peace in our mission and in our sense of community.

I am not sorry I live in a world with a sense of urgency. I am not sorry that medical researchers, first-responders, teachers and many, many others feel a sense of urgency to deliver their services and products. I am delighted that so many at Or Chadash feel a sense of urgency to realize our mission. But I am ever so grateful that my predominant feeling at Or Chadash is not a sense of urgency. I am grateful for the moments of calm, reflection, connectivity and nurturing that I can get at Or Chadash, and I hope you also have come to think of Or Chadash as a place to escape the urgency of your daily life. If you haven't yet, I would encourage you to drop in on a service, have a chat with Rabbi Joe or maybe even just come hang out on the hard bench in the hall and don't pull your phone out. I am hopeful that you, too, will come to see Or Chadash as a place without urgency. 

Kim Turner
Board President

Religious School Director's Message
Betsy NYC.jpg
Tell Me More
In Kelly Corrigan's story-driven collection of essays and best selling book, Tell Me More, the author identifies 12 phrases that make love and connection possible-they include, I Don't Know, No, Tell Me More, and I Was Wrong. Corrigan has an unflinching honesty to her writing, and the book drives home a simple but significant message:  finding the right words is a life long journey.  I want to share with you, as I did at the 6th Grade Family Bar/Bat Mitzvah workshop this past Sunday, Corrigan's words from the chapter "Good Enough", because those are words that we need to embrace.

Recently, Ariel's daughter, Ruby, became a Mitzvah.
The stuff Jewish people expect a brand new teenager to pull off during a Bar or Bat mitzvah is, well, let's just say, I started taking a second language around the same age and wasn't expected to speak or sing, forward or backward, from memory or page, alone or in front of a crowd, for a good six years. And French has vowels.
The preparation, as you might know, involves several years of weekly Hebrew school and tutorials in addition to one-on-one meetings with a Rabbi -- in Ruby's case, a tiny, bright-voiced woman named Noa. Ruby was also required to complete a mitzvah project- a major community service project.
Horse obsessed, Ruby created a scholarship program called "Take the Reins" for underprivileged kids to take lessons at the barn where she rides. "Caring for animals is proven to make people more empathetic," I heard her explain to Claire.
The day arrived. We squeezed in a pew and watched, for 90 minutes, as Ruby sang in Hebrew and told stories from the Old Testament. Ruby was beyond composed; she was commanding. Noa stood behind her, delighted but not surprised. Toward the end of the service, Ruby delivered a drash, a sermon to the congregation, something not even nuns - grown women who study the word of God every day - are allowed to do in the religion of my childhood. My daughters - more familiar with Jo Jo and Jordan from the Bachelorette than with Jacob and Joseph from the Bible - were flabbergasted.
It was clear to me that day in San Francisco that a Bat Mitzvah is really one mighty chorus of you are good enough. That's what Ruby was being told - by her parents when they said that they look forward to watching "the continued unfolding of her beautiful life," by her grandparents, by Rabbi Noah, who represented Ruby's entire faith, and by us, her incredulous friends. You are good enough, we said in unison, meaning: good enough to take on nothing less than the rest of your life.
After the ceremony, I ended up in conversation with Rabbi Noa's husband, Rabbi Michael, who guides about 50 thirteen-year-olds through their Bat and Bar mitzvahs every year.  We talked for an hour.   He has a hundred stories he loves telling, and it was immediately clear that he had found his vocation; his faith flooded the conversation.
I started by asking why the event is tagged to turning thirteen.  "Thirteen is a pivotal moment, and not just because of mustaches and curves.  It's a time of explosive intellectual and emotional growth.  But it's also when life tends to get treacherous.  They are going into the eye of the hurricane.  We want our faith, our community, to help them find and feel their own power." What he meant by power was specifically the power to participate meaningfully in the world, not as a needy child , but as a force for good.
I asked Rabbi Michael if there were ever kids he worried, over, kids who weren't up to the demand of the ceremony and all it implied.  "The hit rate, so far as I've seen, is a hundred percent," he said.  "By which I mean there is always growth, there is always a rise."  He said one of his favorite Bat Mitzvah moments was when a mother was holding the microphone to her daughter's lips and the daughter took the mike and said, "Mom, I got it."
"I love to see a kid feel the weight of the moment, to see them understand that they have something to say, that their voice deserves to be amplified.  Grabbing the mike?  That was too perfect."

During our February 4th workshop we discussed the goal of our Bar/Bat Mitzvah program-that it is more than a sanctuary experience-it is a journey for parents as well as children.   We believe the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an opportunity to create a transformational family experience, and we hope to reinforce that it is not a graduation from Judaism. We want the Bar and Bat Mitzvah to be a process by which students take up Judaism, but also take it on by making it their own.  We want them to tie themselves to our community and to honestly express their own individual beliefs and learning.
That goal is not limited to families with emerging teenage children.  It is a goal that overflows to every member of Or Chadash -- we want everyone to tie themselves to our community and find opportunities to express an authentic form of Judaism -- without the fear that their expression is somehow "less than". 
Something that is particularly significant in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process is a recognition that there is transformative aspect to this experience which addresses the transition from childhood to adulthood.  What makes an adult an adult?  Prior to the workshop, our 6th grade students were asked to interview friends and family to determine when/what made them feel like an adult.  The answers ranged from gainful employment, to graduation, births, and other lifecycle events.
Another activity at our workshop, which, after reading Corrigan's book, can be re-named The Grab the Mike activity, was for students and parents to identify areas that they want their son or daughter to gain independence in after becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  We encouraged families to create action steps to achieve those goals. This year's workshop included parent/student discussions about independence in the kitchen, screen-time, and pet management.  Our goal was to help parents see that these emerging adults are good enough to be able to manage those new responsibilities -- and for the students to see that their parents recognized that growing maturity.
We all need to know that we are good enough -- to lead a service, to read Hebrew in front of a congregation, to take on a Mitzvah project or grab a mike and speak to a crowd.  Sometimes, we just need to be reminded.  And sometimes, when we are feeling "good enough", we can do just about anything we set ourselves to accomplish.

Betsy Zalaznick
Cantor's Message
Kathy Gohr
On Friday, January 26 th, we held our annual Shabbat Shira service where temple musicians joined me on the bima, providing an evening filled with music bold new and old. For all who were there it was a wonderful experience. For all who weren't there, I couldn't help but feel some sadness for those who were missing out on a chance to spend time in community with each other.

Friday evening services are a wonderful chance to spend time with each other in an environment that both celebrates and supports our Jewishness. Being Jewish is all about community, especially in our worship. Historically, there are prayers that cannot be said unless there are a minimum of 10 Jews present (called a minyan), and prayers like the mourner's Kaddish could not be said without a minyan. This was because we gather as a community to support each other, both in good times as well as bad. In fact, most of our prayers are written with plural pronouns like us and we, not I and me.

Rabbi Joe and I are there to lift up our community, to lead our people in prayer and study in a place where first and foremost, we are Jews. We want to provide for the needs and desires of the community that we serve. It is with this intention that I seek your input. What do you look for when you come to services? What do we do well? What could we do better? What would make you look forward to spending Friday evenings with your community, celebrating Shabbat and its holiness?

I invite you to contact us to give us ideas in how we can better serve you by providing possible solutions to the queries mentioned above. Please feel free to contact me with any ideas that you might have, I look forward to hearing from you.

Many bles-sings, Cantor Kathy

This Friday! - Cantor Jeff Warschauer

Save the Date - Fantastic Friday: Shabbat Experience

Save the Date - Cooking Demo at Metropolitan Seafood

Purim Activities at Or Chadash

OC in the News 

Click here to read the full article
What You Might Have Missed
4th Grade Family Service

Bookends Author Event

Grades 8/9/10 Candy Shabbat

Making Casseroles for Family Success Center

Happy 20Chai!