I'm here today because I came out of the closet at age 79.

 

After a 54-year marriage, my husband passed away 4 years ago. I grieved that man, someone I had loved like a brother. When I came out of the grief, I thought, "Betty, now it's your turn." I decided I wanted to be, for the first time in my life, who I really am. I am a lesbian. I knew this from adolescence, but when I was young, the word hardly existed. The culture, the world view, was entirely different in those days. To be gay was to be thought to have a disorder. Glory be! How far we've come in my lifetime!

 

OK. At age 79, I not only wanted to true to myself, and come out

 of the closet, but I also wanted to find someone to love.

 

But where? I'm little old church lady. Back in the day, I was raised with a lot of love but in a culture where the places you'd go to meet someone just weren't acceptable-nice girls didn't go to bars. They didn't go to places where you could meet another lesbian. Being who I was seemed impossible.

 

When I decided to come out two years ago, my first challenge was this: How would I find other lesbians? I've always been a writer, and I met a friend at a memoir writing group who was out. She shared her story of being in a 30-year lesbian partnership and I almost cried as I listened to her. Then I screwed up my courage and came out to her during a break in the group. She was a lovely gal, and she asked what she could do for me. And I asked, 'Can you put me in touch with an organization or two?'

 

When I got home the address for Q Center was in my email. I thought: I will absolutely try this place...when I get up the nerve. But my friend called me and said, "No, I'm taking you over there myself." She brought me to a workshop offered by Susan Kocen-and it was just wonderful. Soooo many friendly faces, and soooo much support.

 

It dawned on me that day that I felt safe. This was not some bar. This was not a place where I had to hide. It's a nice, clean, safe, sweet place. After that there was no stopping me! I went to everything I could. I followed the calendar online and I went to yoga classes, workshops, writing programs, memoir programs. I met many other lesbians. 

Though every woman's story was a little  different, over time I realized my story of coming out late in life wasn't unique. So many women in my generation were just as terrified.

 

Q Center is a safe place. That's the thing. In both the figurative and literal sense, Q Center feels like an open door to a real life. You can't believe how extraordinary that is-

except you can believe it because you're living it too-all of you here in this room know what I'm talking about. I love that we are creating a home that we can share, and we're doing it together.

 

I want Q Center to be around for all the Bettys who discover tomorrow that it's the ir time. For every person looking for a safe place. That's why I'm here today to ask you to give generously so Q Center can thrive."