My Coming Out Story

By Nicole Haliburton

My earliest memory when I felt "different" was at age 10. I had a dream about a woman, shortly afterwords I asked my best friend to kiss me. She did. That was my first experience.

I was raised in a Baptist family filled with deacons. My family was deeply involved in most of the ministries. My family was one of the founding families of the church. I didn't know anything about "gay." I just knew I had this feeling and I knew it needed to be prayed away. I was taught it was wrong to have feelings for the same sex, and that I would not go to heaven.

My second experience with a woman was at 19. This is when my official "double life" started. I continued to be in the "closet" for 10 years. In that period I was blessed with two daughters.

It was very difficult for me to live both lives. I was so pressured to conform to how society and family needed me to be. The pressure was too much. I finally decided to test the waters. I decided to tell a few friends that I trusted. Some accepted me, most chose to say, "You are crazy and this isn't really you." I ended my friendships with all my non-supporters.

Eventually, I started attending gay clubs and feeling very free. Feeling, there are more like me in this world and they all looked proud and one day I will share that same pride.

I made a plan before the end of my 29^th year, I would tell everyone. Most of my friends had known by this time. But suddenly I found love with a woman. Goodness I didn't want to wait another minute. I told my two girls first and they have become my biggest supporters. They asked a lot of questions, but trusted my judgment.

How was I going to share this information with my family? I needed to tell them. I called my mother and she hung up in my face. She yelled, "You are NOT a LESBIAN and I will not accept this at all!" She called my aunt and had her come to my house to pray it out of me. That same night my aunt visited and threw a bible on the table asking me which do I choose homosexuality or the Bible?

After I said "I'm Gay" I felt a rush of peace come over me. I knew that God loved me regardless of who I was. He made me and He loves us all.

Every Month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

by Chris Baldwin, CLP Health/Wellness Director

Betty Ford, former First Lady of the United States, moved into the White House in 1974 and weeks later underwent a mastectomy for breast cancer. A few weeks later, Happy Rockefeller,the wife of Vice President Nelson Rockefeller, also underwent a mastectomy. Both of these women raised public awareness of breast cancer but Betty Ford's openness about her illness was enough to inspire a young lady in Peoria, Illinois to fight her own bout with breast cancer with courage and dignity. That woman was Susan G. Komen.

At the age of 33, Susan found a lump in her breast and after a 3 year battle, died from breast cancer at the age of 36. Gone too soon. Stories like Susan's still echoes in our communities. Every 69 seconds, a woman somewhere in the world dies from breast cancer. On Sept 19, 2010, our friend and sister, NaaMeka White lost her 3 year battle with breast cancer at the age of 36. Our community lost another beautiful spirit to this deadly disease.

Globally, cancer claims more lives than AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria combined. In California, an estimated 3,900 women will die from breast cancer and 22,050 women will be diagnosed with this disease. The Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation has invested nearly $1.5 billion for research and community outreach programs. All of the information you may need about breast cancer can be found on their website ww5.komen.org

At the California Lesbian Project, we want EVERY month to be breast cancer awareness month! We encourage every woman to check her breasts regularly and get mammograms as recommended by the Center for Disease Control; If you are 40-49 years and have insurance, then talk to your doctor about a screening. If you don't have insurance you can contact the Breast Cancer Prevention Fund about a low cost to no cost screening at 866.486.4344 www.breastcancerpreventionfund.org or their partner Inner Images at 877.426.3926 www.innerimagesinc.com

This month, the California Lesbian Project would like to extend our deepest condolences to the
family and friends of NaaMeeka White.

NaaMeka White

April 25,1974 - September 19, 2010

What is a Partner?

"Partner" might mean different things to different people, particularly across generations. The relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It may be serious or casual, monogamous or not, short-term or long-term. The important thing to remember is that dating violence occurs within an intimate relationship.

What Does Dating Violence Look Like?

Teens and young adults experience the same types of abuse in relationships as adults. This can include:

• Physical abuse: any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon
• Emotional abuse: non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking
• Sexual abuse: any action that impacts a person's ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control.