The last two photos in this weblog have been used before. But I like them so much, I am using them again.

Coming of age in the 70’s, I was a big fan of the band 'America'. One of my favorite songs was The Tin Man, a reference to a character in the Wizard of Oz. (The movie was shown every single year when I was growing up and watched by a lot of people).

The line in the song that resonated with me when I became a leader was this: “Oz never gave nothin' to the Tin Man, that he didn’t already have.”

For those of you who don’t remember:

• Tin Man thought he needed a heart to be capable of love and emotion.
• Scarecrow believed he needed a brain to think and make smart decisions.
• Cowardly Lion wanted courage to become brave and fearless.

Ultimately, they each discovered they already possessed what they were seeking, hence the line in the America song.

I have used the song lyric many times over the years. In fact, when someone thanks me for insight or other contributions to their development, I sometimes say, “Oz never gave anything to the Tin Man that he didn’t already have.”

And I mean that a mentor can't do it for you, you have to do it, and if you don't have it within you, you can't. Just like the Tin Man, the Lion and the Scarecrow.

It’s been my way of saying, I really didn’t do anything for you, you did it yourself.

I’ve been a mentor and a leader for many years. The difference might be hard to discern but here’s what I think.

A mentor focuses on personal growth, offering guidance, support, and wisdom based on experience to help someone develop their skills and confidence. A leader, meanwhile, directs and motivates a group toward achieving collective goals, making decisions, and setting a vision.

While both inspire and influence others, mentors prioritize individual development, often in a one-on-one relationship, whereas leaders prioritize organizational or team success. A mentor advises; a leader mobilizes.

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a mentoring session for the University of Massachusetts Soccer Team (that went to the Elite 8 of the NCAA National Tournament last season). 

The team conducts an annual Alumni Mentoring Night with four former players returning back to share their experiences and wisdom to a group of about 25 college students.

First of all, I was honored to be invited, and the closer it came to the date, I realized I wouldn’t miss it for the world. The event organizer, Ted Priestly, had a son that I briefly mentored at Phi Sigma Kappa Fraternity. Ted and I found out later that we’d both played soccer at Umass, and hence my invitation.

The introductions on the mentoring night were cool. There were some abbreviated bios in the program, and we provided some answers to questions in advance. During the panel discussion, Ted fired questions at us and so did the players. 

After the panel, each of the alumni sat at a different table and hung out with the players during dinner and answered additional questions.

You could tell they were engaged and fascinated, and I came up with four reasons for their interest.

1. Every college kid has some form of Imposter Syndrome. They have self-doubt about the rest of their lives and relish the opportunity to hear from others who have something in common with them, i.e. Umass Soccer Alums.
2. Young people seek validation. They have ideas, and when a mentor, or a soccer alum, says something that confirms their suspicions about success, they become more comfortable with their thought process. The questions that they asked were designed to validate their own thoughts. Some answers did, I’m sure, but I’m also sure that some answers didn’t.
3. They are competitive and speaking with someone who has been out in the real world and ‘won’ so to speak, makes them feel like they have inside information on how to make their lives successful.
4.  In many cases, they think they have stupid parents. I know when I was about 15, my dad turned into an idiot, but by the time I was 25, I realized he was a genius. Just the way of the world.

I’ve written this before, but someone asked me once why I volunteered for an organization that took up a lot of my time, I had never thought of the question before, but after a moment of reflection, I answered “Because of the way it makes me feel.”

The same thing happened at this event. I was proud to be asked, proud to be there, proud to have played varsity soccer more than 50 years ago, proud to be sharing my wisdom, proud to be highlighted. How could I not feel great?

Being a college soccer player did have an impact on me. I know I had a little bit of imposter syndrome, before it was a thing, and making the team really impacted my self-esteem. I know I needed validation that I was on the right track, and the competition and teamwork really impacted my perspective. And as I’ve already mentioned, my dad was transitioning to genius at the time, and I benefited from the coaching and confidence.

Would I do it again? Absolutely, I’d do it every year if they asked.

But I have something potentially more interesting. 

Each Fall the team has an annual Alumni Game, and I am planning to play in it this year.

I suspect I will be the oldest guy and draw lots of attention.

• I suspect the other alums will take it easy on me because of that age.
• I suspect that all I have to do is kick it once with my left foot and my bona fides will be established.
• I hope I will be an example to the younger alums and the players that it’s never too late.

I also suspect that I will love the way it makes me feel, unless of course I injure myself, and then I will just feel-good inside.

Either way, I'll have another Weblog to post.