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Dear Suzanne,

 

Welcome to Day 3 of Peace on the Path.

 

On Monday, I wrote about caring for our physical selves, the home of our minds and spirits. Yesterday, I discussed the need for equilibrium—life balance in our external lived experience as well as our need for a sense of internal balance.

 

Today's focus is on our mental selves: a combination of mind and regulation of emotion. This set of actions is most effective when we have taken care of 'P' and 'E' (the body and our balance).

 

Acceptance of "what is" increases the effective use of our minds. By "putting down" our metaphorical fists in the fight against reality, the energy required for the fight now becomes available for what we want to create. It's a reallocation of resources that allows us to invest our energy, time, and attention into something less futile.

 

Here is a simple method I have found to be most effective for both myself and my clients to achieve the state of acceptance. PLEASE NOTE: When I use the term "accept," I am not directing you to tolerate mistreatment, abuse, or denial of conditions or situations that are dangerous, awful, painful, and so forth. Acceptance does not imply approval of wrongful or harmful behavior.

 

For our purposes here, acceptance is about perspective, a way of seeing.

 

To achieve a state of acceptance:

 

  1. Take 3 centering breaths. Inhale slowly through the nose, exhale slowly through the mouth. 2.
  2. Imagine that you are a scientist approaching a study. Scientists are trained to work from an emotionally neutral perspective. They may have feelings, desires, thoughts about what they see or wish to achieve or prove, however, their view is emotionally disengaged to allow for clearer and more accurate observation. Hints while doing this exercise: Focus on facts. For now, discard judgements or opinions.

From this condition of neutrality, we can be at our best to accurately ASSESS. After all, if our vision isn’t clouded with emotions or opinion-infused perspectives, it’s as if we have wiped our windshield clear and can see better.

 

Assessment is an active engagement of the analytic brain that is typically viewing, reviewing, asking clarifying questions, and determining possible courses of action.

           

  1. In response to what I see, what might need to be done?
  2. How might it need to be done? Is there more than one way?
  3. What steps should I take to bridge the gap between "what is" and "where I want to be" in order to achieve my goal?
  4. Do I need more information—either from another review or outreach to others?
  5. Do I need additional resources?


As you start to see results, the interplay between acceptance and assessment becomes more obvious. Together they build a way to use our minds constructively.


Just like the skills required to achieve balance (equilibrium), we must call upon self-discipline to stay focused and our flexibility to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.


Here’s to you and your capacity to accept and assess—another step in achieving peace on your path.


If you have questions, comments, or want to share your experience, I’d love to hear from you at Suzanne.


With love and light,

Suzanne

Since 2009, Suzanne has inspired transformation as a coach, author, and speaker. With over 25 years of research and training, her custom-tailored approach combines science-based strategies, somatic practices, and creative collaboration. She catalyzes peace and personal growth for a wide range of clients—from artists and stay-at-home moms to business leaders, empowering them to reimagine their "stories" and achieve freedom, joy, and success as they define it.


Born to a Dominican mother and a father raised in New England, Suzanne grew up as the youngest of six children, which gave her a deep appreciation for diverse perspectives. She excels at connecting with others, bridging generational, cultural, and linguistic divides, fostering inner harmony and inspiring greater understanding in relationships.

  

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