Greetings Parents!
So hitting the teens years, my boys reached the stage where we decide to shun those who don't meet our expectations, even when it hurts us. Something is out of whack in life, they ask for help when I'm deep into something else, I say I'll be with them in a few minutes, then my task takes longer and I might forget they. They choose not to remind me (the shunning begins) or downplay it and make it seem like it's nothing really important (the half-shun). Now if we press for more details, the anger explodes. And then it festers and they wallow in self-pity over being neglected. Sigh.
Really I should say "I" or "we" instead of "they" since we're all teens once and those changing hormones seem to increase its frequency. A go-around recently with one of ours who'd been bothered by something we agree, once we knew, was a reasonable issue. I previously suspected something was wrong but got the half-shun. Apparently I did not recognize this "Mom can you come here" as being more serious than the other times it is used.
Fortunately we got past the shunning, after an emotional venting, "You don't care!!!" Now we could talk - initially with great passion. Filtered down to the real cause, we could put a corrective plan in motion. All before we left for school one morning. Phew!
Well, it struck me that we adults will do the same with God. We pray for the same thing over and over, and when it seems not to be heard, we go silent, opting to not even ask. This could be a natural defense against being hurt - it feels like rejection when we're in need and those who could help seem to choose not to do so.
I've done that with God, decided that He's chosen not to answer my prayer my way or in any way I can notice, so I give up on that issue and submit others that are less important to me. When done in full trust and acceptance that my prayers were heard and He has the best resolution in process, this is a good thing. If, however, it springs from resignation to being rejected by God - there's a problem.
It's an easy mindset to have, especially if we struggle for a meaningful prayer life. When we're distant from God, He seems distant to us. Human persons ignore or reject our requests - but God always answers them. Yes, not always as we like, but there is a loving answer, not an impersonal dismissal. The less I pray, the easier it is to slip into a teen-like "apathy-shun," I think as a defense against feeling hurt that we didn't get our way. That feeds our justified for apathy and leads to full-blown resentment.
Having a better relationship with God, though, helps us live more easily with "not getting our way" so that we remember - and can more easily accept - that He really is resolving our concerns in most loving way. This will make the difference between being resigned to the reality and accepting it. Sometimes being more like our teen-selves feels better in the moment, but long-term, it sets us up for withdrawing further from the only One Who can make our life right.
Hug your children tight and remind them to ask for what's on their heart, but also to ask Him to place on their heart the good He knows we need.
-- Linda Bader, Coordinator of Religious Education
P.S. Did you know... the Irishman St. Columba spread Christianity in Scotland after becoming a priest. He founded churches and monasteries, with the one on Iona, an island, proving important in future days of unrest. Much of Scotland was converted by his mission. Miraculous activities are attributed to him, frequently to counter druids, and there's even a legend that claims he subdued the LochNess monster.