FOCUS: Parenting 

EDITION: August 2024

Speak Without Words: Using Body Language To Discipline Your Kids

As a therapist with a background in child and adolescent behavior and development, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful body language can be in communicating with children. Body language, defined as the non-verbal signals we use to communicate, includes facial expressions, gestures, posture, and eye contact. These cues play a crucial role in how we interact with others, often conveying more than our words alone. For both kids and adults, understanding and effectively using body language can enhance communication, build trust, and improve relationships.


Most of us know “the look”—the one our parents gave us that made us stop in our tracks. I’ve witnessed countless kids in my office who have learned to act out while their parents ineffectively repeat, lecture, beg, and threaten with words that have lost their impact.


While I respect the theories, research, case studies, and techniques in the field, I also believe the “old school” method of using body language and fewer words is a lost art. This approach can catch a child’s attention, redirect behaviors, foster connection, and allow both parent and child a moment to pause and think.


Understanding the Power of Body Language


Why Body Language Matters

Anyone who has children, had children, work with children or are around children for any length of time know how much we waste our words and wear ourselves out…like a “broken record”. How many times have you known the child is not listening and tuning you out? You are right, many times, the child is not listening and does not plan on doing so any time soon.


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Outsmart Your Teen: Using Body Language for Effective Discipline

Disciplining teens is tricky. They’re testing boundaries and seeking independence, which can make traditional discipline methods less effective. They all know more than we do and are magically grown and want independence. Using body language can bridge the gap, helping you communicate clearly and maintain authority without escalating conflicts.


Tips for Using Body Language with Your Teen


1. Stay Cool and Collected

Good luck! Teens are experts at picking up on emotional cues. When disciplining, keep your cool. Stand tall and confident, showing you’re in control without being aggressive. A calm demeanor speaks volumes. They are generally on the defense, ready to embark at any moment.


2. Lock Eyes (but not too much)

Eye contact with teens can show you mean business. It signals that you’re present and serious. Just avoid staring them down—keep it firm but friendly to maintain respect.


3. Respect Their Bubble

Teens value their space. When addressing issues, don’t crowd them. Keep a respectful distance that allows for effective communication without making them feel trapped. Get in their space and they feel threatened, sometimes like a caged animal.



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"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"


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"The Whole-Brain Child"


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Raising Good Humans


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Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

I want each person I work with to know they do have a voice, and by becoming accountable, they can change their lives for the better.
CRT, CCDC, CACC
Life Coach & Counselor
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