Tonight, there is something unique and magical happening: I plan to cook dinner, and all members of my family will be at the table eating at the same time. While in some months, this would not be worth mentioning, I do think it may be one of the only times this month in which these facts are true. Between high school exams and musical tech rehearsals, events at school and events in the community, baseball games and family celebrations, May has truly felt, as I have heard it called, like “the 100 days of May.”

The end of a school year is a whirlwind. I think it’s both the logistics of Maycember (how do we squeeze so many end of year celebrations into one calendar?!) and the emotional turmoil that can come with transition; this time of year is fraught with the recognition that our kids are growing, and while of course we want them to grow up, we also want to hold on to them. And there can be additional layers - for so much of the last few weeks, many conversations with parents have centered around the dreams of September; in some cases, their children’s experience has exceeded those dreams (and there may be tears) and in some cases, their children’s experience has not met their expectations (and there may be tears). While our society often names December as “the busy month”, May wins the award for being both busy and emotional, and the best we can sometimes do is, simply, hold on for the ride. And in moments like this, I find myself returning to a few grounding ideas about parenting, children, and the world our kids are growing up in.

As I stopped to consider what I am thinking about and feeling in this moment and what I hear so many others asking, I decided to offer something a little different this month. Most of us don’t have energy to consume anything meaningful right now, but we have lots of things on our minds; so I thought I would share some resources that I am appreciating on topics that I think many of us are considering. These can be consumed now or - more likely - at your leisure over the summer, which hopefully provides some space and respite for thinking and dreaming:

Technology and AI

This topic seems more top of mind than ever before, with AI changing our world and school districts shifting their approaches to tech use in classrooms. You’ll be shocked to know I continue to believe that technology has a place in our children’s lives - particularly in middle school - when it is used intentionally and in service of their ability to think, create, and connect. But as parents think about screens, AI and how we want to raise our kids, I have enjoyed the following resources to think more specifically about my decisions as a parent, as an educator, and as a consumer of technology:

Future Design School: This is something that is probably more meaningful for educators than parents, but I appreciate the clarity of the four skills kids will need in an AI world (“As AI replaces routine tasks, students need an evolved toolkit of uniquely human abilities”) - Judgment, Empathy, Adaptability and Creativity.  

This is so Awkward: I love this podcast in general, but this particular episode has Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price on to speak about their book The Amazing Generation. I won’t lie - there are some points in the podcast when I think Haidt and Price are being deliberately obtuse, but I appreciate their message that we want kids to use technology as a tool, not be a tool for technology (and that kids need to lean into IRL interactions).

The Sabbath World: In her book The Sabbath World, Judith Shulevitz talks about the importance of rest, whether through Shabbat or through intentional breaks from technology and productivity. Again and again, I find myself returning to the wisdom of Jewish practices that create space for rest, presence, and real human connection in a world that rarely stops moving. We need moments away from our devices, and so do our children. (And in total transparency, I found her work through this interview from 2023 - I appreciated the conversation about the concept of sabbath and its role in our lives, no matter how we observe shabbat).

Kids

This year marks my 25th year in education. At this point, I have dozens of students who are adults, who are finding their purpose in the world, and who are growing into the people they are meant to be. In almost every case, those who worried us most - for academic or social/emotional reasons - have turned out to be people who are living lives of meaning. It reminds me that childhood is a long game, and we need to continue investing in, and supporting, those we love without panicking. These are a few of the resources I have consumed and appreciated on this topic:

In Praise of “Difficult” Kids: In this article, Russell Shaw, the Head of School at Georgetown Day School, reminds us that those kids who make things difficult for their parents and teachers are often the ones with a moral fire who grow into the people we admire. And perhaps rather than just tolerating these children, we should be prodding more children to be like them.

Never Enough: I have shared about this book before, but I continue returning to it. From the youngest ages, our children absorb the message that what they do matters more than who they are, and our job as parents is to overcompensate for the messages within our society. As a parent with a high school student, this message feels even more relevant and shifts how I am raising my youngest child.

Hunt, Gather Parent: This book was published in 2021 but I read this book for the first time at the beginning of this school year. One of its central ideas is that even very young children are capable of contributing meaningfully to family life, and it pushed me to reconsider how often we do things for our children instead of inviting them to do things with us. It made me think deeply about the responsibilities we give our young children and how we can raise the kinds of adults we want our children to become.

Bret Stephens’ State of World Jewry Address: While not specifically about parenting, this address from February has continued to resonate as I consider what it means to raise Jewish children today, whether in my house or at Pressman. I especially appreciate the urge to stop focusing on anti-semitism and instead lean into Jewish Joy. This message shaped our Pesah seder at home and has made me think differently about the ways we educate children at Pressman.

Taken together, these ideas push against the common narrative that childhood should be optimized, managed, and measured, and instead remind us that raising children is about playing a long game rooted in relationship, resilience, responsibility, and joy. I continue to believe that we need to raise our children to be the adults we hope they will become, which means there will be moments of childhood that are bumpy and perhaps even painful; but we want our children to navigate those moments while knowing they are deeply supported and deeply loved. And as I think about raising Jewish children today, I find myself increasingly focused not only on preparing them for the challenges they may face, but on helping them build lives filled with meaning, belonging, celebration, and Jewish joy.

For Yourself

I have found myself to be happier when I have my own robust reading life. I wanted to share some of my favorite reads from the last 12 months:

Heart of a Stranger, Rabbi Angela Buchdahl

Hostage, Eli Sharabi

My Friends, Frederik Backman

The Names, Florence Knapp

Theo of Golden, Allen Levi

The River is Waiting, Wally Lamb

When We See You Again, Rachel Goldberg Polin

When I look at these - and you may find some of these more compelling for your own enjoyment than others (and please check the content to make sure you’re up for it - some of them are very heavy!) - I see how these books explore how people live through moments of loss, uncertainty, and change while holding tightly to connection and meaning. Each of these stories, in different ways, centers on relationships and the resilience it takes to keep showing up for one another. What connects them is a focus on how people stay connected to family, friends, and community, and how they make meaning even in painful or uncertain circumstances. 

And when I think about this year, when I think about our world and our community, this is ultimately why I feel so lucky to be here. There are always challenges, and there are always going to be challenges - from the moments of disappointment or frustration in our daily lives to the larger existential crises around identity, Israel and anti-semitism - but how grateful I am to be in a community that has proudly and loudly claimed that we will remain connected to one another, that we will navigate moments of uncertainty together, and that we will stay in relationship even when we don’t see things the same way. How lucky we are to navigate Maycember and all of the months in between, together. Because in a season that can feel overwhelming, I am grateful that we don’t have to do any of this alone.