Oh so many things to talk about this week! The burning of Notre Dame, Holy Week/Passover, the release of the Mueller Report or Beyonce's film, all of which I could have addressed with the PGGs: The Roof is on Fire , The Passion of Passover or perhaps State of Our Union . But with so much going on around us, it's easy to get swirled up in the daily grind, external distractions and crisis du jour that you might lose touch with or take for granted the people in your life, or perhaps are letting non-worthy folks take up tooo much of your precious time that you could use to cultivate a better relationship with yourself . Because I operate by listening to myself and then do my best to give me what I need, (hence: The Smoothie Principle ), for a while now I had been missing two of my special friends, Fiona, who is almost 13, and Zach, who just turned 10. Even though I have a lot going on, I made use of their week off from school to spend some quality time together sans parents, and it turned out to be exactly what the doctor ordered! Our "date" on Wednesday was planned for a while, but who knew that our dose of silliness would be the antidote to such seriousness and insanity going on at the moment ! I hadn't seen them since early November and was increasingly feeling it, and then realized that was why, along with the overdue hugs and bonus Instagram tutorial (if you follow me there you might have noticed my first "story" and saw the highlights of our time together). So this week, who do you need to re-connect with and experience the gift of presence, silly or sublime? You can also check out my PGG Video of the week where I remind you of the importance of having fun , and an Instagram post to remind you to be grateful for the people in your life . As always, please feel free to let me know y our feedback about any and all that I'm doing :) Big hug <3 Kristina
" I love your PGG newsletters - one of the only ones I actually read in its entirety. They are excellently written, and spot on. Thanks for being so inspirational and reflective!" ~ Tom D .
People Who Need People
(Originally published on October 2, 2012 )

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to surviva l . ~ C.S. Lewis

Despite what Simon & Garfunkel once sang , we are neither rocks, nor islands, as many of us (especially those drawn to live in the metropolis that is New York!) might want to be. The irony of course is that the very nature of being human means we are part of a greater whole and must interact with other human beings on many levels. Yet a sense of connection and belonging doesn’t always come from the family, tribe or culture we are born into so we must create that connection authentically, first within ourselves and then with others .

Relationships are one of the most difficult areas for us homo sapiens to navigate, and they are the biggest source of our pleasure as well as our pain. The past several years we have had an advanced course in them; I for one can say as difficult as it’s been, have learned some new and deeper versions of lessons I know will serve me well in the future, all of which culminated in a super-summer intensive, with this harvest season reaping the wisdom culled from that journey.

Some of those nuggets include: finding the balance between losing ourselves/being co-dependent versus isolating and becoming a monk (or a psychopath); having boundaries and not taking on/feeling responsible for another's emotional or other type of well-being; nurturing yourself, no one can know exactly what you need but you; seeing people and relationships as they really are, not how you’d like them to be. And regarding those close/intimate relationships that are more difficult or challenging, keep in mind that that person – whether parent, boss, spouse, sibling, lover, friend, child – is just the actor playing a role in a scenario you have created in order to heal and grow .

Lastly, the people you choose to allow into your life – friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner- should meet certain criteria. The word ‘friend’ especially has been so diluted and watered down with the use of Facebook and social media you need to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and discern the Apples and Oranges.  

The foundation of a relationship with anyone deserving of your time and energy must include understanding, appreciation and respect. You should be able to check off at least two of these to be considered a friend, and if you are fortunate to have someone in your life who truly understands, appreciates and respects you, then you are very, very lucky and should treasure and honor that relationship for the special gem that it is.

The bottom line is , You Gotta Have Friends, and making time for friendships and your most important relationships is not a luxury but a necessity . It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to -day busyness of life, but we need to discipline ourselves to create space for connecting with the people who love and accept us, who know and understand us, with whom we share interests and history, and have grown together, not apart.

Remember, you can always see PGGs from any month or year going back to 2010 on my website at and visit my social media pages for more inspiration throughout the week! Want to share my PGG? Use my Medium page for friendliest posting version.


Next Public Talk: May 8th 6pm
Staying Motivated Throughout the Job Search Process

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"Since I last spoke with you, I've had some pretty dramatic changes - New Job, a Big Move, Healthy Dating Relationship. It's been pretty awesome. Emotionally, I've done a 180, and my life is certainly a reflection of that. My last session with you spurred a lot of wonderful life changes. "   ~ Palanda B.
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Looking for more PGG inspiration and tips?

Click on the image to the right for this week's video about why its important to have fun

Stay tuned for a PGG TV video series coming soon!

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