Across the country, it seems that divisiveness and political turmoil have risen to a fever pitch. Family, friends, and neighbors are often at odds over issues that can cause anger and hurt. With the election behind us, it will take understanding, patience, and determination to heal the country as we move forward. We thank you for joining us in taking a pledge to develop and sustain a personal sense of peace and nonviolence in all aspects of our lives and bring us together.
Each Monday, from November 9 through December 21, we will be sending you a list of resources and suggestions on how to lead a more peaceful, just, and sustainable life. It’s a way of working toward eliminating violence, one step at a time, starting with ourselves.
Peace and all good!
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WEEK THREE
To Forgive: To apologize and make amends when I have hurt another, to forgive others, to keep from holding grudges, and to forgive myself as well.
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We all make mistakes, and we all have the capacity to hurt people through our behaviors and actions, whether these are intentional or not. It isn't always easy to apologize, but it's the most effective way to restore trust and balance in a relationship when you've done something wrong. This article, from MindTools, explains why apologies are so important, and how to apologize with sincerity and grace when you've made a mistake. MORE
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Crafting an apology that can make the person you’ve hurt feel better is no small feat. Dr. Jennifer Thomas, co-author of When Sorry Isn’t Enough, has conducted research, alongside Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, to come up with five apology languages: expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuinely repenting and requesting forgiveness. MORE
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People who hurt or wrong you won't always be sorry about it. But forgiving someone isn't about them, it's all about you. Dr. Paul Jenkins is a clinical psychologist specializing in the science and practice of positivity. He says you don’t have to let them off the hook, but you can choose to be the hero in your own story. In this video, he talks about moving forward and letting go of your grievances towards a path of complete forgiveness. MORE
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Why do we hold grudges when they are in fact quite painful to maintain, and often seem to work against what we really want? What keeps us stuck when we want to move on and let go? Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, author, public speaker, mindfulness teacher, and relationship coach. She explains why we need to step into a new version of ourselves in order to release grudges and work toward peace within. MORE
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Phyllis Rodriguez and Aicha el-Wafi have a powerful friendship born of unthinkable loss. Rodriguez's son was killed in the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001; el-Wafi's son Zacarias Moussaoui was convicted of a role in those attacks and is serving a life sentence. In this video, the two mothers explain how, in hoping to find peace, they have come to understand and respect one another. MORE
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You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you. Lysa TerKeurst, bestselling author of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, has wrestled through this journey. But in surprising ways, she’s discovered how to let go of bound-up resentment and overcome the resistance to forgiving people who aren’t willing to make things right. With deep empathy, therapeutic insight, and rich Bible teaching, Lysa explains how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they're sorry. MORE
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Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent constantly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. Or maybe you've had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness — even vengeance. But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. The Mayo Clinic explains that by embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude, and joy. MORE
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Whether it’s a simple spat with your spouse or long-held resentment toward a family member or friend, unresolved conflict can go deeper than you may realize—it may be affecting your physical health. The good news: Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. And research from Johns Hopkins Medicine points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age. MORE
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Making peace and moving forward is often easier said than done. Being able to forgive yourself requires empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding. It also requires you to accept that forgiveness is a choice. Whether you’re trying to work through a minor mistake or one that impacts all areas of your life, the steps you need to take to forgive yourself will look and feel the same. All of us make mistakes at times. As humans, we’re imperfect. The trick says Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, MBA, PA is to learn and move on from our mistakes. She provides 12 tips you can try the next time you want to forgive yourself. MORE
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Inspired by the Pledge of Nonviolence
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