Happy November, Everyone,
As we enter this season of gratitude, we’re reminded that one of the most important things we can give our children is a safe place to feel all their feelings.
When children say things like “I hate you!” or “NO!” when they’re angry, disappointed, embarrassed, or overwhelmed, it can be hard to hear. But often, they’re trying to express feelings they don’t yet have words for.
Children need to experience happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, and disappointment and learn that all feelings are okay, even when certain behaviors aren't. When we acknowledge and validate their feelings instead of trying to fix or dismiss them, children begin to understand themselves and learn how to work through difficult moments.
Here are a few simple things we can say when big feelings show up:
- When they’re angry: “You’re really mad. It’s okay to be mad. I’m here to help.”
- When they’re disappointed: “You really wanted ____ to happen. It’s hard when things don’t go the way we hoped.”
- When they’re sad: “You look sad. Do you want a hug, or can I sit with you?”
- When they’re frustrated: “This is hard. You’re still learning. Do you want to keep trying yourself, or do you want some teamwork?”
- When they say something hurtful: “You’re really upset right now. It’s okay to be angry, but I won’t let you hurt someone with your words or your body.”
- When they’re overwhelmed: “You don’t have to figure it all out right now. I’m right here.”
We don’t have to make a feeling go away. Sometimes, children need us to sit with them, help them find the words, and show them they can get through a hard moment. Over time, they begin to recognize their feelings, develop empathy, and find constructive ways to express themselves.
We’re so glad we get to do this together, as a village.
With love, laughter, and a little grace for all the feelings along the way!
Your First Pres Family
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