February 2025

The Collaborative Relationship Between Parents and School 

Daniel Kempf, High School Principal

The mission statement at Prince is, “to partner with Christian families to provide scripturally based discipleship while pursuing excellence in academics, fine arts, and athletics from a biblical worldview”. The clarity of this statement provides a strong framework for the school culture at Prince which has been intentionally created and deliberately maintained. Even when both the school and parents understand and agree with this mission, there are times when circumstances tempt one or both partners to trade in the partnership for a competition. Many of the professional articles on the topic of collaboration between school and parents start with the assumption that it is the norm for conflict to result in an antagonistic relationship.  

My college basketball coach, Dennis Scott, wrote his doctoral dissertation comparing two different analogies for competition in the world of athletics. He described competition as, “a mutual striving for excellence in attempting to win a contest”. He wrote about viewing athletics as either a partnership or war. These could also be possible analogies when considering the relationship between parents and school. Thankfully, at Prince, the environment is much more a partnership than war, and one contributing factor is the quality of both parties involved. 

“The Prayer” by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion is a song with two incredible talents combined to create a masterpiece. Both artists are masters at their craft, care deeply about the process and the outcome, and were willing to join into a partnership for the chance to produce greatness. They could have chosen to maintain a solo career, but instead they chose to partner with someone for a specific purpose.  

Why do I use this analogy to talk about a collaborative relationship between parents and their child’s school? Let me give you a few reasons. 

1. Different callings: How many times have parents said, “I could not do what my child’s teacher does.”? When I watch kindergarten teachers inspire 14 students eight hours a day, five days a week, I am thankful for my child’s teacher. Teachers do not always have children of their own who are the same age as their students, but they recognize the challenges parents are facing as they are raising their children in today’s culture. For students to be trained to be the next generation of Christian leaders who are prepared to make a difference in their communities, we need both Christian parents and passionate educators working together. In the musical collaboration example, there is a level of trust and gratitude needed that the other artist’s abilities are different yet complimentary to their own. Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion have very different styles, but when put together in concert, they complement each other beautifully. If Celine Dion did not sing her part at the right time, the song would not be what it is. There are times when each artist defers to the other to do their part and times that they sing together. What a great model for us to consider as we collaborate for the benefit of our children.  
2. Willingness to give and receive feedback: Constructive feedback may not have happened in this duet, but I would assume that it did. With such expertise between two artists, I can imagine that recommendations on how to work together happened, and because of the high level of respect, the other would consider and try to adjust for the purpose of a great outcome. Most often in the school and parent partnership, the school trusts the parent to parent at home in an excellent way, and the parents trust the school to educate their child in alignment with its mission and values. At times, administrators and teachers will communicate recommendations to parents, and parents will make recommendations as to what their child may need at school. This process of respectful feedback can improve the training provided to students. When either side accuses or criticizes the other, the collaborative partnership can shift to two simultaneous solos happening at once, which does not have the same beauty or benefit to those directly involved or observing. How chaotic and unproductive would it be if while performing “The Prayer”, Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion were criticizing and arguing with each other as opposed to the exemplary performances that are able to be observed?  
3. Students are the beneficiaries of successful partnerships: In the partnership between the school and parents, the beneficiary is not primarily either partner but rather it is the student. Every teacher I know begins their career, and continues in their career, for the opportunity to invest in students. Parents who are willing to invest in Christian education do so for the benefit of their children. I wonder if Andrea Bocelli or Celine Dion have listened to a recording of their masterpiece for their own enjoyment. Most artists create music so others can enjoy their creation. Often, when antagonistic relationships happen within a partnership, they occur because one party or the other believes that their partner is not working in the best interest of the student, or they would do the other person’s role differently. In a successful partnership, understanding the other party and how their choices were intended to benefit the student should be the focus. Thankfully, this is achieved very often at Prince because both parties have observed the other live out the mission regularly. 

So how do we maintain a healthy partnership if there are disagreements, which there will be? 

1. Assume the Best: Start with the assumption that your partner intends to train your child well in partnership with you. 
2. Define Responsibility: Understand if the choice made is your responsibility or the responsibility of your expert partner. 
3. Confirm the Plan: Communicate the desire for understanding of the plan and ask the partner to state the plan back to you for the sake of clarification.
4. Make Reasonable Recommendations: If appropriate, make a recommendation to your partner that may be of benefit to your child.  

As someone who loves music, there are solo artists or bands that create fantastic songs; some of my favorite songs are created by a band or solo artist. But when two of my favorite artists collaborate, there is a unique experience and beautiful creation that is possible. My belief is that, as a parent and an educator, I want other people to invest in my children, and I love partnering with parents to train their children. In 2 Timothy 3:14-15, Paul is talking to Timothy and encouraging him, and he says, “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” Paul says that what he learned from childhood from scripture can lead to salvation through faith in Jesus. This is the main reason we all are choosing to be at Prince. We want our students - and you want your children - to be prepared for life, but most importantly to find salvation through “faith in Christ Jesus”. It is my firm belief that authentic, gospel-focused parents, teachers, and school leaders can partner well together to help our students achieve this goal.