I was in my 30’s before Mandy and I met, married, and had children. I had worked with students of all ages as a teacher, coach, and administrator. During that
time, I had the opportunity to interact with many different parents, and I developed many opinions about parenting. I knew the “right” way to parent - what to do and what not to do. I had all the answers.
Then, when we had children, I discovered something. Not only did I not have all the answers, but I was not even sure what the questions were. I discovered a great truth – parenting is hard.
Parenting does not have a perfect “how-to” manual. While there are many books and websites that will tell you how to be a good parent, none of them have all the answers. Parenting is an ongoing journey in which you must constantly make decisions that affect not only your life, but the lives of your children. You will make mistakes, and no one gets everything right all the time. Our goal is to minimize our mistakes and develop children that are ready for the place God has for them in His ministry. Most of the tough times in parenting are brought on by decisions. As you make decisions regarding your children, consider the following:
Help – but not too much.
Our children will always need our help. However, sometimes our help can actually hinder the development of our children long term.
Do you remember the first time you allowed your children to feed themselves? It was probably messy, and most of the food went somewhere other than their mouths. For most of us, the second time was better but not by much. It was only after many patient attempts that they learned to feed themselves. We had to be patient knowing they would master it but wanting so much to help them just a little bit.
We must help some, but we must also allow our children to learn to do things for themselves. It is easy to see that we must let them learn to feed themselves, clothe themselves, tie their shoes, etc., but the same applies to classroom learning too. We must let them become responsible for knowing what they have for homework, bringing home all the books they need, and turning in assignments. As they grow older, we must let them take on the responsibility of communicating with teachers, gathering all the materials for a project, and studying the right way for assessments. Learning these lessons the hard way in middle and high school will be beneficial in college and beyond.
