Once you finish judging, venting, expressing your thoughts, choose one of these thoughts, and ask yourself the four questions below. The point of this self-inquiry is not to change your mind. It is to increase your awareness.
Ask the questions. Go inside. Wait for information to surface.
1. Is it true? (If no, go to question #3)
2. Can I absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do I react, what happens to me and in me, when I believe that thought?
4. Who would I be, how would I be, what would my life look like, without that thought?
An example of this process might look something like this.
"I don't like Amelia because she doesn't listen to me"
Apply the Four questions.
Is it true? Yes. It is true. She doesn't listen to me.
Can I absolutely know that it is true? Well, no. Maybe she is listening more than I give her credit for. I mean, sometimes I appear to be listening to people even when I am not.... So, maybe she is listening or at least half-listening.
How do I react, what happens to me, when I believe this thought? And, another follow up question: How do I treat her when I believe this thought? I feel slighted. Sometimes I talk louder or become more insistent, trying to get her to hear me. Other times, I shut down, and feel alienated from her and angry. And I often feel superior. My body feels contracted and I am uptight.
Who would I be, how would I be, without thinking that thought?
I would be okay. I would feel grounded and calm.