Parent Corner! Coping With Emotions Part 3 "I Wonder"
Here are some thoughts from Danny Huerta from Focus on the Family.
"I wonder” questions reveal a lot about our kids’ worries and insecurities. It can open a window into how they are coping with emotions. In my counseling practice, I’ve heard children ask the following:
- “I wonder if my parents are going to get a divorce?”
- “I wonder if my dad loves me.”
- “I wonder why my parents argue so much.”
- “I wonder if my dad will have time to play this weekend?”
Help guide your children to ask these questions using the word “could” (explained below) to help them accept a few different outcomes. For example, your child might say, “I wonder if my mom and dad will stay together.” You could turn that question into a “could” statement such as, “My parents could decide to split up, and what I can control is _______.”
In a child’s early development, wonder often starts with questions that explore how things apply in their world or how things work. As children develop further, they may shift toward wondering what others think or how things might go wrong.
God engages our wonder and curiosity. Realizing how things can be different within the context of a loving God and His kingdom can bring true freedom to a person’s mind and soul.
“I wonder” expresses not only curiosity but hopes and wishes when things seem out of control. It is essential to help kids openly express these questions and to cope with their emotions and what is influencing the direction of the “I wonder” questions.