Hello Dear Ones!

I'm sitting in a dark world, dreaming of light and shadow. I thought I'd share a bit of my musings, just in case they resonate with you, or spur musings of your own.

I initially thought I'd write to you about reverence of light at this time of the year. But the more I've thought about this, the more nuanced it has become for me.

Light and Dark. We are so culturally encouraged to chase the light. Be the light. And I partially agree. We long for more sunshine, longer days. And perhaps we also long to shine our inner light more brightly. I do strongly believe that we each are gifted with an inner flame that is solely ours, and our gift to give to the world. What do I mean? Well, what brings a sparkle of light into your eyes? What do you love to think about, talk about, do or share? That's the light I am talking about. If we live with light in our eyes, we are gifting ourselves to the world.

I can't help but notice, though, the importance of shadow. Who are we if not a balance of light and shadow. Again, we are so trained (and so rewarded) by our society to only show our brightest, happiest, bubbliest side (even if it is forced or entirely inauthentic). We are rarely encouraged to live into our shadow side. We are rarely encouraged to talk about this, to share it. I can think of only a few friends who have ever welcomed my stories of sadness or depression, who have ever truly said, "Lay it on me. I know these feelings too." Do you have anyone in your life who can hear and hold your stories of darkness, of fear, of grief?

Two days ago I attended an outdoor candle-lit wonderland of sorts. I was in awe of all the beautiful lights- the real candles flickering from behind beautiful glass lanterns, the tiny white holiday lights strung in the midst of greenery. And then, as I looked around in wonder, I saw what was also beautiful: Every large and tiny shadow that danced with the light, matching its every movement. The light would have been nothing without every single one of the adjacent deep, sensuous shadows.

I recently listened to an interview on the concept of "Wintering"... meaning conscious respite and preparation for renewal. I loved it so much I listened to it three times. I've often thought of the seasons as a balance of expansion/moving outward (the warmer, longer days) and contraction/moving inward (the colder, shorter days). But I see now that this too can be understood through the lens of light and dark.

In this current season there are many traditional celebrations built around reverence of light. This offers so much hope. But it also misses the opportunity to celebrate the darkness. The deep dark moments that support reflection, rest, renewal, contemplation. The dark moments of connecting to the parts of our selves that we have a hard time loving (we often call this our shadow side). We can not shine our inner light brightly if we don't also dance with, and live in connection with, the darkness within ourselves.

These days, when I finish up clinic, I close my computer, bundle up, and head out for a quick hike. My son is with his grandparents, just over the hill and through the forest. More often than not, I hike without my lantern on. And I JUST LOVE IT. The beauty of the faint moonlight and the darkness... against even darker shadows... It's spectacular.

So I leave you with an idea: Yes- do celebrate the wondrous returning of the sun. And and and.... Let's also take some time to celebrate and connect with the delicious (and sometimes hard to tolerate) shadows. Find a friend or wise person who can hold this with you. This sweet world of ours will be a happier, healthier place if we can begin to revere the balance of light and shadow. I wish you utter delight as you navigate this in your life.