Resilient Kindergarten Teacher Overcomes Child's Death with Strength and Resilience: Meet Melissa Lahoud
What is your personal story?
I always think I have had two lives. I grew up with an incredible family, one sister, a hard-working father, and my mom who was and still is my best friend. My bond with my mom was something that I always knew was special. I always hoped I could be just like her and have what we had. I got married so young and had no real idea what my career was going to be. My husband at the time worked in construction, but our income was always fluctuating. I had to take a job that I hated at the time but allowed me to be home with our two children. In hindsight, thank God I had the job because I would not have been able to do my most important task which was waiting for me. I had thought that life could not get worse. We did not have any money, needed help to buy basic groceries, disconnection notices came and my personal relationship with my husband was rocky.
It was in 2012 when I learned just how much worse things could get when my 3-year-old daughter was diagnosed with cancer. My beautiful and fierce daughter, whom I dreamed of having my whole life, died at the age of 4. My dreams, my innocence, my faith, my hope, and my life were all non-existent. I had a 2-year-old son who still desperately needed a solid functioning mother. So with my natural traits and my desire to be a healthy mom for my son, I moved forward. I am a natural mover. I don't dwell and I feel strongly about working through difficult challenges.
I became a teacher, I became a divorcee, I became a single mom, I became a seeker. I spent the last 6 years seeking a life full of healthiness: healthy love, healthy relationships, and healthy thoughts.
In 2013, I died. In 2013, I was reborn. I started over from absolute darkness. I clawed my way through some dark corners, dark thoughts, and fatal desires to be here writing this story. Every day, I strive to love and accept myself and to undo the traumas the last 10 years have brought me. I do it because I am worth it. This is my story.
What makes you a remarkable global leader?
The people in my life always refer to me as strong. So many have said to me, “If Melissa can do it, I can do it.” I never asked to be anyone’s inspiration or encouraging thought. I had to sit with this unwanted trait of mine and find acceptance. This is what life’s cards dealt me. I wake up every single morning, remembering my daughter died from cancer. I was never given a choice to live with this or not; I have to. I have to be courageous. I have to be strong. I am the symbol that reminds people, "you can do this." You just have to have the courage to say, "I need a break." Courage to try again. I did try again.
After my divorce, I started my career as a teacher. I put myself through grad school and got my certification. I am a woman who ended everything she knew to journey into something she did not know. On this day, I am engaged to a gentle and supportive guy who is a perfect father to our son Colin and a supportive stepfather to our Jacob. I get to live my second life with unconditional love and encouragement. I got a second chance at watching Jacob grow up with a sibling. I did all of this.
I lead by example, with empathy, and with experience starting from darkness. My experience brings understanding, compassion, and empathy that can bring groups together. I have learned to navigate obstacles that would figuratively cripple many people, but with resilience and adaptability, I have come out of my trauma on the other side of it.
Throughout my career as an educator, I have had to unite several classes of multi-language learners and foster an environment that felt safe enough to learn in. Without my compassion, I would not fully connect with them. Although I am not fluent, I can communicate with my students enough that they can understand and also feel included. My stumbling through Spanish shows my vulnerability to the students and brings about much more academic risks for students. My leadership of my students brings unity, and community and lays a blanket of partnership over my classroom.
What advice do you have for other women who want to break through barriers?
My advice for any woman willing to break through a barrier is to slap that tiara on your head and bust through that barrier like the queen that you are! You must invest in yourself. You deserve to be your best self. No one will lift you, love you, and see you as you can. Listen to yourself, and write down your thoughts. Stay organized, make a plan, and be mindful of your self-worth. I know that if I want to stick to a goal, I write it down. When I can read my goal in words, it becomes tangible. Plus, writing down your thoughts can help you to elaborate on already fruitful thoughts and ideas.
I knew I did not want the life I had. I knew I wanted to provide a positive and nurturing life for my son – he was always my reason. I was the only person who was going to change our situation. I thought out my end goal, made a checklist, made my phone calls, rallied my village, and turned my entire life around to one that I am proud of and not one I wanted to end.
I suffered through a lot of verbal abuse, day in and day out. The voice of that trauma still lingers in my head. She is my voice of doubt, the one that tells me that I am not enough. I fight this demon day in and day out. My barrier is depression, it blocks me from reaching my highest potential, but only if I let it. I acknowledge my challenges every day, I honor my feelings and I hold them with value. These are the commitments I have made to myself. You can make them to yourself, too, and you will have already commenced the journey to breaking through that barrier that stands in front of you.
How can GlobalMindED advance your goals as an inclusive leader?
As a teacher, I am always reflecting and finding avenues that I can explore for growth. I often find aspects of myself that I focus on and during my weekly therapy sessions of EMDR, I work through them. My hope is that GlobalMindED will expand my knowledge of steps to take to build a classroom environment that is balanced with respect, value, and courage. I want all of my students to feel comfortable enough to trust my process regardless of our differences and to be brave enough to try and learn. Although I feel I have started the process in my practice, I would like to develop my experience to a mastery level.
