What is an Ice Breaker and why are they important?
What is an Ice Breaker?
The Icebreaker is a facilitated conversation between birth and resource parents, often with contributions from the child, about a child’s needs. Icebreakers are child-focused, face-to-face meetings held between birth parents and resource parents as soon as possible after a child is placed in out-of-home care. Icebreakers should also be held whenever a child experiences a placement change — from home to a foster home, from foster home to adoptive home, from a group home to a relative.
The purpose of the Icebreaker meeting is twofold:
To share important information about a child and to be the first step in building a relationship between the child’s birth parents and the new caregivers. Both of these purposes are critical in reducing the trauma the child has experienced as a result of placement.
Icebreakers open the door for communication. The meetings allow birth and foster parents to exchange information about the child: What foods does they like? What helps her fall asleep? Does he like pets? What helps them get to school in the morning? Meetings also allow for an exchange of information about home settings and schedules: What does a typical day consist of? Who else lives in the home?
Why are Ice Breakers important?
Foster care is a very complex system that touches multiple parties. It can have unintended negative consequences, even when the best services are provided. Children might feel dislocated and afraid, their sense of identity and belonging deeply affected. Birth parents’ confidence and hope for the future can be damaged; foster families might feel ill prepared to meet a child’s needs, especially when they have little information about those needs.
That is where Icebreakers come in. These meetings can help: Reduce the trauma of foster care placement for children; Introduce parents and caregivers in order to share information; Build alliances among adults when children are in congregate care, too; Begin relationship building and a sense of teamwork; and Improve everyone’s ability to help a child, including the caseworker.
The most difficult part of an Icebreaker is likely to be the initial introduction of the birth parent and foster parent, as both may be wary and nervous. Resource and birth parents need to be open to meeting one another because the child needs to observe both sets of parents together and understand it is okay to trust the resource parents. All participants need to trust that the ODHS staff will, above all else, be concerned about everyone’s safety and not put anyone in harm’s way. You will not be alone in the process but supported by the child’s team.
Please know you may be asked to participate in an ice breaker as an opportunity to build a relationship with the child(ren) and his/her family. This is an awesome opportunity to help the child feel safe and supported by both bio and resource families. (Info from: https://www.aecf.org/about)
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