Deep sighs each day as the world turns. Prayers in the middle of the night for peace and an aura of confusion as each day brings stories that challenge our sense of security. Everyone says they are not watching or listening to the news, yet everyone seems to have something to say about it. We do not want to admit to being caught up in the chaos, as we are people of faith who hold on to the belief that God will ultimately lead us to peace. The chaos, however, pulls us in.

My youngest daughter maintains a practice of balancing a negative statement or thought with something positive. It is a healthy practice and one that, when we are together, she reminds me to observe, often with great humor.  So, in the midst of the chaos and worry we must remember that there are acts of kindness and milestones being reached every day that pull us away from the chaos and into gratitude.

Today, the words from Wisdom in the first reading remind us of the mercy of God, …” you gave your children good ground for hope that you would permit repentance for their sins”. Being human, we make mistakes, sometimes very big ones, so it is reassuring to be reminded of the mercy God grants us. My daughter would note the intersection of the negative, sin, with the positive of mercy and forgiveness.

In the second reading, Paul tells us to chill and not worry too much about the depth or richness of our prayers as the “Spirit will come to the aid of our weakness…”. I find this the most comforting of today’s readings. Paul understands how hard it can be to pray at times, and he assures us that one greater than us is with us, so we don't need to worry. Engaging in a conversation with God, whether eloquent or halting, is still prayer, and there are no judgments about prayer.

Then we get to Matthew, who offers us confusing parables and leaves us wondering what he is trying to say. The parable of the weeds and the seeds, the weeds being the not-so-good people and the seeds being the good folks, feels a bit like them and us, especially when in the parable the landowner says he will burn the weeds. Where is the mercy that the psalmist and Paul speak of in this parable?

In the longer version of today’s gospel there is a parable I choose to hold on to while letting the one about the seeds and weeds go. It is the parable of a woman who takes yeast and mixes it with flour to make leavened bread. There are no good guys and bad guys in this parable, just the notion that from combining elements, something amazing blooms. Jesus likens this to the kingdom of heaven.

While it is a struggle, as evil appears alive and well, it makes more sense to hold onto the parable of the yeast activating the flour to produce something beautiful. Each of us can be said to be a grain of yeast, and each of us has the capacity to create something beautiful in life. My daughter would approve of embracing the positive. She is a good teacher.

Please take a few minutes to read the reflection offered by Anna Hjorth below. Anna came to Ignatians West as a young woman with small children. She was the youngest volunteer, by far.

It warms my heart to see where she has landed. It is a story of faith and perseverance.

Peace,

Anne                                                                                     

By Anna Hjorth

When my youngest daughter stated preschool in the fall of 2017, I knew it was finally my time to join Ignatians West. I had met Anne at LA Congress a number of years earlier and I had tucked the idea in the back of my mind for a moment when I would have “more time.”

As a mother of three, with my oldest son going off to college this year, I laugh at this now. I know that I never acquired more time, I just grew in my ability to manage it, and that between drop-offs and pick-ups I could use those minutes to make a difference in the lives of others.

Prior to 2017, I had never heard of CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) , St. Camillus Center or Father Chris Ponnet, but now I can’t imagine my life without them. I remember so clearly walking through the doors of St. Camillus Center for the first time for my Ignatians West interview and praying, “God, I don’t know if you are calling me to be a chaplain, but please guide me on the path closer to you.”

When I started my chaplaincy journey 2 years ago, I had no idea where it would lead me. I didn’t even know if it was something that I was going to like. But sometimes God calls us, and He calls us to step boldly out of our comfort zone, and into the beauty of the unknown.

This road has led to the most amazing transformation and discovery.

As I reflected on the significant moments in my life (part of the homework!), from those who have brought me the most joy, to those that have brought me the most sorrow, and everything in between, I was able to see the thread that God placed there from the moment he created me.

“Tell me a story” was something I would often say as a young child, marveling in what the other person would say, sometime laughing and sometimes crying, but always listening intently to the meaning behind the words. The calling to work with those on the margins placed deep within me since I encountered my first homeless person on the streets of San Francisco and felt God tugging on my heart and saying, “Tend my sheep.” God was also leading me to New York post 9/11, to witness the kingdom of God in the service of others.

In my vocation to help others find meaning and purpose in their lives, I have found the blessing of discovering my own. The thread of God, always present, even though sometimes invisible to me, guiding me to each next step, helping me up in my moments of weakness, and placing me purposely into situations that needed my strength.

You might be asking, so what does a chaplain do? What have I done with the 72,000 minutes I have spent with the patients at LA General Hospital? I have learned the ministry of compassionate presence, of quietly being there, not fixing or solving, just holding space and listening to what the other person has to offer.

I have held the hand of a mother who has just experienced her third miscarriage. I have walked with the young pregnant woman, incarcerated and alone, and helped her see the

beauty within herself. I have seen the regret in the eyes of the gang member for his choices that have caused harm, knowing that his experience with harm is personal, since his mother would put cigarettes out on his back as a child.

I have heard the story of the escape from post-war Vietnam, in a small boat surrounded by sharks, only to begin a new life in a foreign country that would always be so far away from home. I have sat with the grandmother of 4, who just received a terminal cancer diagnosis, lamenting the loss of time with those children. I have been the witness to many tears, and shed some of my own, knowing that being fully present and upholding the dignity of these patients, in these encounters, was the only gift that I could give them.

I will be forever grateful for this experience, for all that is has taught me, and for all the people whose stories I have been blessed to hear. I thank Father Chris for giving me this opportunity, my teacher Ram for guiding me through the process, and my fellow chaplains for supporting me along the way. I am grateful for all the friends who have been part of my story and have taught me about the power of presence in my significant life moments. And I know I could not have done this without my husband and children, whose unwavering support and encouragement gave me the courage to persevere in the moments when I didn’t think I could do it all. This process has made me a better person, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend, and I am forever changed.



Ad majorem Dei gloriam.

Summer Blanket Project

Please join us on this project. We will be meeting in Los Angeles on August 1, and in Orange County on August 15.

This is a great project for teenagers, so if you have one or your parish has a youth group, please let them know about our project.

Let us know if you can join the Los Angeles or Orange County group - email to ahansen@ignatianswest.org for all the details.