RUNGE FAMILY LAW NEWSLETTER
(Summer Edition)
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Now that summer is here, it’s time to make outdoor plans with family and friends. I have broken out my Fitbit in an effort to get outside and enjoy the sunshine.
See Mindfulness tip below
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What's Been Happening
We’ve been very busy at Runge Family Law and have brought in more staff. In May 2019, Amanda Gnau, a third year law student from New England School of Law, began clerking at Runge Family Law. Amanda’s background includes working as an intern at the Middlesex Probate & Family Court and working for a family law attorney in Essex County prior to law school. Amanda’s goal is to be a family law attorney and she is looking forward to working with our clients on their cases. Amanda (
on the right
) joins Zoe Martin (
on the left
), who began clerking in our office in April 2019. Welcome, Amanda!
I am excited to announce that I was selected for “Super Lawyers” this year. I am also humbled to announce that I have been nominated for “Top Women of Law.” I appreciate both of these professional acknowledgments and I am grateful to my colleagues and to my wonderful clients for thinking of me.
Upcoming Presentations:
On June 11th, I was a panelist for “Representing Moderate Income Families Efficiently” at MCLE with Karen Levitt and Karen Van Kooy.
It was great to be on a panel with such top-notch family law professionals.
On November 9th, 2019, I’ll be a panelist at the Academy of Professional Family Mediators, Association of Divorce Financial Planners, and Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation’s annual conference in Boston, “Next Generation of Innovation: Divorce Professionals Partnering for Excellence.” I’ll be speaking with Attorney Debra Smith and David Goodman of Gosule, Butkus & Jesson, LLP, about using creative options to save money in light of changes to tax laws, trying mediation and collaborative practice. I look forward to participating in such a great conference.
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Question of the Quarter
How to talk about College With Your Ex After Divorce?
For some parties, one of the most difficult challenges after a divorce is developing or continuing open and inclusive communication about the kids. Without regular and open communication, either party may find themselves left out of the loop regarding important educational, medical, and religious decisions for their children. Such was the situation in
Feinstein v. Feinstein
, a 2019 decision that dealt with communication about a college decision gone awry.
In
Feinstein
, a divorcing mother and father of 2 sons agreed to discuss and reach a mutual agreement as to where their oldest son would attend college before either one enrolled him. Unfortunately, communication between the parties was lacking or non-existent, giving rise to what the judge referred to as, “complex communication issues.”
Mother believed that the son was communicating with father, while the son was only giving minimal information about his application materials to father. The mother and father did not try to communicate with each other, assuming their child was filling the other in. After a muddled sequence of communications, the mother enrolled the son in a college in Arizona, believing the son had told his father. Father learned about the situation through a guidance counselor months later. Even though the mother was not found to have violated the agreement, based on honest communication mistakes, she was left to pay a significantly larger portion of the son’s college tuition than originally agreed to.
Misunderstandings and expenses could have been avoided if the parties kept communication channels open, instead of assuming the other had the necessary information. The takeaway: Make sure to check in with your ex-spouse about major life decisions for your children, for everyone’s benefit.
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Using “Forest Bathing” to Manage Stress
According to the World Health Organization, the term “burnout” is now an official medical diagnosis. Although the diagnosis is focused on employment or unemployment related stress, this new diagnosis gives even more credence to the effects of stress on our bodies and minds. Anyone going through a divorce can empathize with the effects of stress in the context of divorce. So what are some strategies you can use to help counter the effects of stress if you are going through this process?
“Forest Bathing” is a practice in Japan that is scientifically proven to help improve your health. The idea is that by being in the presence of trees, you can help reduce your stress levels.
The QZ article notes that, “Experiments on
forest bathing
conducted by the Center for Environment, Health and Field Sciences in Japan’s Chiba University measured its physiological effects on 280 subjects in their early 20s. The team measured the subjects’ salivary cortisol (which increases with stress), blood pressure, pulse rate, and heart rate variability during a day in the city and compared those to the same biometrics taken during a day with a 30-minute forest visit.
‘Forest environments promote lower concentrations of cortisol, lower pulse rate, lower blood pressure, greater parasympathetic nerve activity, and lower sympathetic nerve activity than do city environments,’ the study concluded.”
Being out in nature, even if it is only in a city park, can help you to replenish a weary heart and mind. You may have noticed the calming effect of nature on your own mind and body after you have been outside, especially now that warmer weather is upon us.
Who knew there was a scientific reason for that? Now, where is that Fitbit?
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