Hope Does Not Hurry Lament

As we struggled to reconcile the juxtaposition of the joy and hope of a new school year with the overwhelming grief and sorrow associated with tragedies from the Central Texas flooding, Rev. Samantha R.E. Smith from Saint Paul’s Waco shared with me something she heard from Rt. Rev. C. Andrew Doyle, IX Bishop of Texas: Hope does not hurry lament.  

As I began to think deeply about this simple but profound statement, I was surprised to discover just how often the idea of lamentation is addressed throughout the Bible. For example, there is an entire category of the Psalms that are called “prayers of lament,” Often beginning with “Why…?” and “How long…?”, these songs of lament resound with the cries of those who are suffering and feeling abandoned by God. Even Jesus grieved – often and deeply. The book of Isaiah describes the coming Messiah as “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” Outside the tomb of Lazarus, Jesus wept. And again in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was tormented with sorrow. On the cross, in a state of immense distress caused by feeling abandoned by God, Jesus cries out the words of Psalm 22, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" which translates "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" 

In his letter to the Romans, the Apostle Paul implores believers to “"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” As Episcopal communities who prioritize pastoral care and share a commitment to “bearing with-ness,” I wonder if we are sometimes too eager to rush through the season of lament to find comfort and hope? Do we hurry this process to assure ourselves and others that all will be well (which it will) and that God has everything under control (which He does)? Although ultimately all these things are true, perhaps scripture offers a template for giving ourselves and our communities time and space and place to express and process deep and profound sorrow. By carefully examining the psalms of lament, perhaps we can discover a guide for processing our deepest sorrows. Working through a process that begins with complaint, then moves to petition, then to trust, the psalms of lamentation almost always come around to end in hope and praise. But note how this process begins – with a full and brutal articulation of the overwhelming pain and sorrow that threatens to consume. By rushing too quickly from lament to the shining hope we have in Christ, we prevent ourselves and others from fully experiencing the healing properties of grief. By resisting the temptation to hurry through a season of pain and lament, our grieving souls can slowly begin to discover those stirring words “great is thy faithfulness” from Jeremiah’s Book of Lamentations (3:23).

This reflection is inspired, adapted, and modified from “Making Room for Lamentation” by Paul Pyle and from "Prayers of Lament” by Cheryl Kelly.

LGLO

All Hands on Deck: Advancement That Works for Small Schools

September 17, 2025

10:00 am - 11:00 pm CST

Presented by: Mattingly Messina, Founder of ThroughLine

Mattingly Messina is the founder of Throughline, a consultancy that puts relationships at the center of philanthropy. He helps organizations treat their relationships as their greatest asset and build financial models that leverage them as much as possible. He takes great pride in serving as a trustee of his alma mater, St. Margaret’s Episcopal School, where he previously led the Alumni Association and grew an alumni-driven endowment fund to support tuition sustainability—an effort rooted in access, equity, and stewardship. He also serves on the Programs Committee of the Association of Fundraising Professionals Golden Gate Chapter. Based in San Francisco, California, Mattingly holds a B.A. from the University of California, Berkeley.

This session flips the script on traditional advancement, giving Heads, Trustees, and school leaders fresh ways to reimagine the Advancement Director’s role in a lean, small school setting. Together, we’ll weave advancement into your school’s financial strategy, spread responsibilities across your team, streamline operations, and put relationships at the center of it all. Whether you have a small team, just one person, or no full-time advancement staff, this workshop uncovers practical paths to real results.

Register Now

In-Person Events

SAES Annual Leader's Meeting and

Leadership Symposium

October 3, 2025

All Saints' Episcopal School

Phoenix

Join leaders from across the association on the amazing campus of All Saints Episcopal School in Phoenix, AZ for a day of fellowship and professional growth, featuring Dr. Carrie Grimes,  Director of the Independent School Leadership Master's program at the Peabody Graduate School of Education at Vanderbilt University.  Open to all SAES Heads and Senior leaders.  Financial assistance is available - just email your request to rdevlin@swaes.org.

BONUS CONTENT:  The Borderlands, Restored!  (this beautiful reflection was written by Clara Duffy, the daughter of our very own Mary Katherine Duffy)



“We bumbled through a book of common prayer, bilingual liturgy of the Lord’s Supper. We passed the french bread from Albertsons through our wet hands and through the bollards of the wet border fence. We poured grape juice into small paper cups, the kind they give you at the dentist. And we sang Amazing Grace. Sublime gracia del Señor, que a un pecador salvó! Fui ciego mas hoy veo yo, perdido y él me halló.”

I know that by now the slower pace of summer already seems a distant memory, but I hope all our SAES school leaders did have some opportunity for rest and renewal over the summer and that you are energized and excited about the start of the new year!  I know there is much on your minds and much to do, but I do have a few important reminders for risk mitigation and compliance with SAES Standards.  

First, remember that SAES Standards require that all schools must comply with their diocesan requirements for Safe Church, Safe Communities.  Please ensure that all new employees have received Safeguarding training and/or know what they must do and the time frame within which it must be completed.  Additionally, each diocese establishes its own timeframes for Safeguarding renewal.  Whoever has been designated on your staff to ensure and document Safeguarding compliance needs to have reviewed all returning employees to determine who needs to be recertified.  (SAES is aware of challenges with the documentation of Safeguarding compliance in the Diocese of Texas due to database issues, but we expect that you are nonetheless able to demonstrate compliance through your own internal spreadsheet/database/paper HR files.)  If you are uncertain of your diocesan requirements, contact the Bishop’s office or the Canon to the Ordinary in your diocese, or call me and I will help you get to the right person. 

Similarly, SAES Standards require compliance with relevant state regulations regarding criminal background checks and/or ensuring that employees are not on a state’s “Do Not Hire” or “Sexual Offender” lists.   Requirements vary from state to state and, in some cases, depending upon whether the employee works in an early childhood setting (children under age 3), so it is important that you know your state’s requirements.  SAES requires that you have a process not only for conducting and documenting initial checks but also for periodic review of returning employees.  

Finally, SAES also requires that all schools regularly review the child abuse prevention and recognition, as well as the Mandated Reporter laws in your state.  If that was not done during back-to-school in-service training, you should offer such training at your next regularly scheduled faculty meeting and document that training as well as the attendance.  It is important to note that abuse and neglect can occur in homes of any educational or economic background, and Episcopal schools are not immune to these evils.  We are, however, clearly charged not only by the State but by the Baptismal Covenant to strive to protect the children in our care. 

As always, don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or I can assist you in any way.  All best wishes for a wonderful new year!

Chris Carter

Community   |   Faith   |   Integrity   |   Leadership   |   Support

The mission of the Southwestern Association of Episcopal Schools is to lead, nurture, and unify Episcopal schools in order to advance academic excellence within the faith community of the Episcopal Church.