Rossmoor End of Life Concerns Club

Tunnel Tops Park in the Presidio, by Jim Greenberg

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President’s Message

I’ve been fortunate to not have lost many close friends thus far. Yes, a few along the way, but what about other people in my past I’ve cared about to one extent or another? From time to time, I look up these classmates, girlfriends, neighbors, and colleagues. As I am grateful to have remained alive and relatively healthy into my eighties, I am especially saddened by the premature deaths of old friends as well as those of my more recent acquaintances. The other day, the name of a college friend popped into mind, and when I looked her up, I learned that she had died prematurely at the age of 67 back in 2014. Another time, a medical school friend’s obituary revealed to me that as well as I thought I had known him as a fellow student, he apparently evolved quite a bit later in life. His epilogue described him as a loving family man, a very different person from the one I knew who never dated, had never married, and, in spite of being a kind and warm person at heart, projected sarcasm as his everyday modus operandi. But most rewarding are the memories of the good times I enjoyed with these people as I was transcending adolescence on my path to becoming a competent adult. 

I’ve even felt a certain emptiness when I see that a neighbor’s car hasn’t been moved or has gone missing for too long. I’m puzzled that my upstairs neighbor’s apartment has been vacant for more than a year, his parking space empty next to mine. Living in a senior community, the disappearance of neighbors is to be expected, but the absence of physical signs of their existence does register a kind of vague emptiness in my heart.

Of course, it’s the memories that are most important. As Jack Riemer wrote, As long as we live, they, too, shall live, as we remember them.

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CLUB PRESIDENT JIM GREENBERG AND BESS CHOSAK, DEATH CAFE CO-FACILiTATORS

The Rossmoor Death Café will meet on Friday, SEPTEMBER 12, from 3:30 to 5 p.m. in the Vista Room at the Hillside Clubhouse.

Though not a grief support or therapy group, our Death Café offers a safe place for participants to bring up such end-of-life issues as Advanced Healthcare Directives, how to talk about final plans and wishes with your family, and other late life concerns.

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GLORIA GLASKIN, retiring chair FILM CHAIR

Our next movie presentation, "The Farewell" will be shown on Monday, September 15, 2025 in the Peacock Theater at 1 PM.

A 2019 award winning film follows the multicultural exploration of grief and joy of a family in crisis. A poignant and heartwarming film with themes of love, illness and loss. 

Welcome to Bill Patten, incoming Film Chair.

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RICHARD NAEGLE, TREASURER

A CELEBRATION OF THE DAY OF THE DEAD

An introduction to and Celebration of the Day of the Dead

is planned for Monday, October 27, from 1:00PM-2:30PM in the

Club Room at Creekside. This event is co-sponsored by

our Club and the Entre Amigos Club.

El Dia de los Muertos is perhaps the most popular holiday

in Mexico and is rapidly spreading into other cultures. It continues to evolve here in the United States as a gentle, gracious and beloved way of remembering our loved ones

who have died.

For the ancient Mexicans, death is not an end but a stage in

a constant cycle--part of a never-ending journey. The

inevitability of death is accepted rather than feared.

The ancient holiday celebrates life in its embrace of

death. Families come together to honor their ancestors.

Flowers, fruit and photographs decorate altars. Death's

morbid side is balanced with beauty, favorite foods, music

and fond memories.

Life is change, which includes the rhythm of loss/death. As indigenous wisdom advises, we need to make friends with death as part of life; we need to find death before death finds us.

The event will be led by Richard Naegle. Please bring a picture of a loved one who has died (and perhaps their favorite food or drink) to place on our "ofrenda" (altar of remembrance).

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New Club Website, Please Visit!

 https://www.rossmooreolcc.org/

Additionally, the Rossmoor End of Life Concerns Club is building a library of books relevant to our educational mission. We are in the process of developing a set of extra benefits of club membership, one of which will be the privilege of borrowing books from our collection. Here are a few examples of books to be offered in the near future.

The Day I Die: The Untold Story of Assisted Dying in America

Anita Hannig — Sourcebooks (2022)

Anthropologist Hannig reports from clinics, homes, and advocacy groups to depict MAID’s realities in U.S. states where it’s legal. She examines moral tensions, bureaucratic hurdles, and the lived experiences of patients and clinicians. The book is empathetic reportage, not advocacy, illuminating complexities on the ground.

The Inevitable: Dispatches on the Right to Die

Katie Engelhart — St. Martin’s Press (2021)

Engelhart profiles people seeking control over death and the activists, doctors, and critics around them. She explores legal, ethical, and cultural battlegrounds across countries and cases. The narrative is probing and ambivalent, resisting easy answers.

In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss

Amy Bloom — Random House (2022)

Bloom recounts her husband Brian’s diagnosis with early-onset Alzheimer’s and their decision to pursue an assisted death abroad. The memoir intertwines love story, caregiving, and the ethics of choice. It’s intimate, candid, and unsparing about the costs of both illness and autonomy.

MARLEY MIDDLEBROOK, MEMBERSHIP CHAIR

Thank you for supporting our work at the End of Life Concerns Club.

If you would like to join or renew your membership you may do so at the next Death Cafe, or drop off a check to the Gateway mailbox. Membership is $20 per year and is a great way to be involved in the community.

As of October 2025, our Newsletter and Book Club will only be made available to members in good standing.

Membership: Marley Middlebrook at marleypsyd@me.com or (925) 385-0336

Jim Greenberg, President

endoflifeconcerns@gmail.com

(412) 736-2317