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This April we are putting the spotlight on ‘Growth’ – the fourth of the five VCHS Portrait of a Graduate characteristics. We define growth this way – Our graduates 1) are curious, 2) open to meeting new opportunities and challenges, and 3) resilient in the face of failure.
I’ll have to admit that even typing out the words ‘resilient in the face of failure’ runs against my natural grain. I don’t know if it stems from how I was raised by my parents, society’s influence, or my own hardwiring, but my default is to think – failure equals bad. But when we stop to think about it, we know that’s not true. So how can we have a better relationship with failure? How can we see it as a pathway to growth and ultimately success?
Stanford University psychologist, Carol Dweck, helped me reframe the way I think about tackling challenges, facing and experiencing failure, and the like. In her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dweck challenges her readers to unlearn a fixed mindset and replace it with a growth mindset. We know the brain is malleable and can be rewired to do just that. Here are a few of my favorite Dweck quotes.
- In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s my chance to grow.
- The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of growth mindset.
- The best thing parents can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and replace their own confidence.
I hope that last quote caught your attention. Yes, teach students (your children) to ‘be intrigued by mistakes’ so that they ‘don’t have to be slaves of praise.’ We serve our students (your children) well when we praise their grit, their determination to push through obstacles in the face of adversity, and ultimately their growth.
As we head into the final weeks of the school year, let’s celebrate and honor growth – growing in curiosity, growing in openness to meeting new challenges and opportunities, and growing in resiliency even in the face of failure! That’s a major brushstroke of the VCHS Portrait of a Graduate!
Steve O'Neil
Head of School
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