Lesbians of Palm Springs and the Coachella Valley Outings and Events
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Yesterday was a day of heartbreak and hope.
Scarcity, Trust, and the Shape of Everyday Grace
In the ambient background of American life, scarcity hums like an ever-present frequency. It’s not always about material poverty—though that’s certainly real—but about a deeper assumption: that we are alone, that we must fend for ourselves, that help is uncertain. We don't trust businesses, we don't trust the state, we don't trust the media. This cultural backdrop shapes behavior in subtle and powerful ways. It encourages competition over cooperation, profit over mutual benefit, and efficiency over empathy. In such a landscape, success becomes personal salvation, and failure, a private shame. Wealth and status buy us safety.
By contrast, the Japanese ambient background is one of interdependence. There is a widespread trust in the state, in systems, and in one another—not because people are naïve, but because the culture has long cultivated a mutual obligation between the individual and society. With this comes yoyu—a concept that roughly translates to "spaciousness" or "room to breathe." Yoyu is a quality of calm awareness, of leaving room for others, of not rushing to the edge of one’s limits.
You can see yoyu in the everyday rituals of Japanese life: in the pause before speaking, in the careful arrangement of a meal, in the way apologies are made not just when someone is wrong, but when circumstances burden others. When a Japanese business must raise prices, it does not do so silently or coldly. It offers an apology to the customer—not out of guilt, but out of respect. The profit motive is not absent, but it is balanced by a cultural priority: the relationship to the customer.
This difference—between scarcity and trust, between usary and respect—manifests everywhere. In America, the customer may be the target, but in Japan, the customer is owed dignity. In America, prices rise because they can; in Japan, prices rise reluctantly out of necessity, and always with recognition of the social contract.
Where Americans may strive for independence, the Japanese often strive for harmony. That striving is not always easy. It comes with its own tensions and constraints. It is still a difficult culture for women who step outside the traditional roles of wife and mother, but it is changing. More and more high courts in Japan are ruling the ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional. All cultures have challenges, all cultures change, but the desire for harmony also fosters a shared cultural spaciousness—yoyu—that allows people to move through life not constantly on guard, but with a little more room to breathe. The sense of "we are all in this together."
We are moving through a difficult time, and it will not leave us unchanged. There are legitimate criticisms of a "nanny" state when the government oversteps its bounds, allowing individuals to shirk responsibility for their lives and the impact of their actions on others. But having trust in your community and those around you to care in your difficult moments means mentally healthier individuals and less violence. It only works when individuals become more mindful and less entitled, when businesses seek to improve the lives of their customers, not merely the maximize profit, and when politicians seek the good of their communities rather than their wealth and power.
The sense of "we are all in this together" was what I witnessed yesterday, and it gave me great hope.
Kim
Road log
We have safely arrived in Lansing, Michigan—out of tornado alley—and will be here for the next two weeks while I have crowns and a bridge placed on my implant pegs. My dentist, Susan, recently returned from a trip to Kenya, where she provided free dental care in a squatter settlement. There was no running water, no electricity, and dirt floors, but there were joyful children. They had no Wi-Fi or internet, yet they do not see themselves as poor; instead, they belong to their families and their tribe. They feel valued. Meanwhile, many people in our own country feel burdened by a sense of “if only we had…” Our wealth provides us with independence and freedom from reliance on others. Yet, paradoxically, it often leads to isolation and loneliness instead.
May you be kind this week and may you be touched by kindness
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My book Travels Into Discomfort is available on Amazon.
It is a travel adventure in its prose and a journey to the heart in its poetry.
Travels Into Discomfort
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Barbara Carpenter Realtor
Shann Carr
Comedian, Event Producer, Realtor, A Lesbian Concierge In The Desert
Andrea Voras, Gerontologist Dementia Specialist Life Aging Life Care Manager
Constance Clare-Newman, Somatic Work for Pain Relief and Stress Reduction
Corlyce Photography
Chris Ann Kallgren Realtor
Sunny Designs-Website & Graphic Design & Video
Rice Notary
Nancy Minger - Massage Therapist
Poochsitter
Motivation Changes — Life Coaching - Dr Ann Sarah Engel, MSW, PhD
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- Cork Women's Fun Weekend
- AdventureWomen: organizes exceptional women’s only travel groups spots around the globe.
- Trafalgar: offers women-only guided vacations to various destinations, with local female guides and experts.
- Road Scholar: provides educational and cultural trips for women of all ages and interests.
- Adventures in Good Company: creates active and adventurous trips for women who love the outdoors.
- Intrepid Travel’s Women’s Expeditions: explores local cultures and traditions from a female perspective, with female leaders and hosts.
| | Email me at gabriolakim@gmail.com if you want something posted on the bulletin board, or an event promoted. | |
Thank you.
Thank you to everyone who shares recommendations for a worthy figure in women's history, an article, a book, a movie, or a women-centric event for the newsletter.
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Women’s History
Women, We Should Know
In the year 40 CE, Trung Trac and Trung Nhi—sisters from a noble Vietnamese family—ignited a rebellion that shook the Han Chinese empire. Outraged by the oppressive rule and the execution of Trung Trac’s husband by Chinese authorities, the sisters rallied an army of over 80,000, composed largely of women. They swiftly reclaimed more than 60 fortresses across northern Vietnam, including the capital, and declared themselves queens.
For nearly three years, they ruled as sovereigns. Their leadership defied gender norms in a deeply patriarchal world, and their military success became a source of national pride. Yet their power terrified the Chinese court. In 43 CE, the Han dynasty sent a massive force led by General Ma Yuan. Despite fierce resistance, the rebellion was crushed.
Rather than face capture, legend says the sisters committed suicide—drowning themselves in a river to protect their dignity. Today, the Trung Sisters remain revered symbols of Vietnamese resistance and female empowerment, honored in temples and national holidays. Though empires tried to erase them, their legacy endures as one of the earliest recorded feminist uprisings in world history.
These elephant-riding warrior sisters freed ancient Vietnam from Chinese rule | National Geographic
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In The Substacks
Tribeca Film Festival rolls out more than two dozen queer movies
Episode 81 FREE: limerence, a romcom, Jeanette Winterson, L word memoir, lesbians mean business.
Gina Ortiz Jones Elected As San Antonio’s First Lesbian Mayor - GO Magazine
Jane Goodall joins 'Call Her Daddy' for inspiring interview
Jane Goodall talks hope, aging, and great apes in new 'Call Her Daddy' interview
The Protocol - Podcast - Apple Podcasts
Health care for transgender youths is deeply personal and important to thousands of American families. It’s also one of the most divisive cultural and political issues of our time. Twenty-seven states have banned surgery, hormone treatments or puberty blockers for minors. The Supreme Court will decide soon whether those bans are constitutional.
The Times just published a special six-part podcast on the history of these treatments and the contentious debate. It reflects two years of work by Azeen Ghorayshi, who has reported on the intersection of gender and science for a decade, and Austin Mitchell, a senior audio producer.
The subject is complex and explosive and deserves a discussion that moves beyond slurs and slogans . Worth the listen if you want to explore further.
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Worried about the legality of gay marriage and thinking you should get married just in case the laws change and having a problem booking an appointment at the City Clerk's office?
Fera Mostow
I am a minister and will do marriages for any gay couple that wants to get married before the inauguration free of charge or until Trump does something that eliminates gay marriage.
All they have to do is email me and they can come here - Sun City Shadow Hills, and I'll do the ceremony.
Contact Fera at fmostow@gmail.com
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The Dinah
A major production company is doing preliminary research on The Dinah and is looking to speak with folks who are interested in being interviewed. If you're interested, please send a couple of sentences about your relationship to The Dinah to marypilon@gmail.com.
I know some of you went to the original Dinah weekend and many of you attended in the following years. These ladies would love to talk to you about your experience. Drop them an email.
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What is ShortFest? ShortFest 2025 | June 24-30
Short is king at ShortFest! The Palm Springs International ShortFest is one of the largest showcases of short-form cinema in North America, bringing together the most innovative, boundary-pushing, and entertaining short films from around the world. This seven-day competitive festival is Academy Award, BAFTA, and Goya-qualifying, screening hundreds of shorts from 60+ countries. Beyond the screenings, ShortFest is a hub for filmmakers and industry professionals to connect, learn, and grow.
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SUMMER ART CLASS AT Desert Art Center with Cathy Parker
Art and How to Make It
Art and How to Make It delves into art concepts and drawing techniques. Art concepts are explored through discussion, handouts, and projects designed to further working knowledge.
Drawing skills are practiced using a variety of mediums, not usually thought of as drawing tools. Class content is introduced with demonstrations, videos, and exercises specific to developing drawing skills and encourages creativity.
Making art is not about pulling something out of thin air.
Even magicians don’t pull anything out of thin air.
Where: Desert Art Center, 550 N. Palm Canyon
When: Wednesdays, 1 – 4, beginning June 4
Fees: $40 for one session or $140 for four sessions.
Payable with cash or Zelle
To register, contact Cathy Parker at 707-363-2698 or csparker2005@gmail.com
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Juneteenth Celebration at the Oscars
Join us this June for a powerful evening of music, speakers, and celebration at the Oscars as we honor Juneteenth—a tribute to freedom, resilience, and Black excellence.
Presented by the Sunset Music & Education Foundation, the evening will feature live performances, spoken word, and guest speakers who remind us why this moment matters.
Free and open to the public. Stay tuned for the line-up.
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Sunset Music & Comedy Festival - PRIDE and VETERAN'S DAY WEEKEND
November 6-9, 2025
One Epic Weekend: PS Pride, Veterans Day & Nonstop Music Collide in Palm Springs!
Check this out—Palm Springs Pride Fest, usually a first-week-of-November event, is shaking things up and landing right on our scheduled Veterans Day Weekend. Coincidence? Maybe. Destiny? Absolutely. We’re leaning all the way in and seizing the moment to celebrate it all! Because what do you get when you mix Pride with a concert steeped in music education? Pure magic—a sonic explosion of culture,
community, and pure, unfiltered fun!
When Pride energy meets the power of live music, the result is nothing short of electrifying. Imagine a weekend where every note tells a story, every
performance honors a legacy, and every beat fuels both celebration and connection. We’re bringing together iconic artists, rising stars, and unexpected collaborations
to entertain, educate, and inspire.
Whether you're here for the music, the knowledge,the movement, or just to dance under the desert sky, this Pride week is about to make history—and you’ll want to be part of it!
Exclusive Access! 🎟️ Pre-Sale Tickets on sale now for our newsletter subscribers!
Be the first to grab the best seats in the house—sign up for our newsletter to secure your spot before tickets go on sale to the public on April 6th
SWEET BABY J'AI PRESENTS | Sunset Music | Palm Springs, CA
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Easy/Moderate/Difficult Hikes
Hikes will return in the Fall
Have a great summer
New hikers must register and sign a waiver.
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2025 Walks - Will Return in the Fall
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Movie Meetup
Wednesday - Mary Pickford Theater
No Movie this week - It's hard to find a good movie these days in the theater
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Book and Movie Salon/Club -
2024 Schedule 2nd Mondays 5:30 pm
**BAM SALON**
March through June 2025
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86210738578?pwd=OFRYSFNaYmNBaDlQaXRaZ1RBbktUQT09
Meeting ID: 862 1073 8578
Passcode: 744589
Signature Move 2017 directed by Jennifer Reeder (June 2025)
A closeted Muslim lesbian takes up lucha-style wrestling to release the anxiety from her stressful job and tense relationship with her newly widowed mother.
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This Week's Recommendation
You Can't Ask That on Netflix
You Can't Ask That is an Australian TV series created by ABC Television that first went to air in August 2016. As of June 2022 its seventh season is on air in Australia.
The show aims to offer insight into the lives of marginalised communities and break down stereotypes while answering the questions people are afraid to ask Each episode asks controversial questions sourced from the public to a minority Australian population, with the first series including indigenous people, people of short stature, Muslims, sex workers, transgender people and more
It won 3 UN Media Awards for Promotion of Disability Rights and Issues, Promotion of Social Cohesion and Promotion of Empowerment of Older People
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PALS’ no-cost educational seminars provide up-to-date information, resources and opportunities to engage in essential planning ahead conversations before a major health or life-altering event occurs. For info about upcoming PALS Seminars with in-person and zoom registration links click here.
9:30 to 11 am. 3rd Saturday
September thru June
| | PALS Death Cafe is a group-led open conversation about mortality that’s not a counseling or bereavement group. There’s no specified topics or designated outcomes. Just bring your questions about any aspect of death and dying that interests you. RSVP for the next PALS Death Cafe here. | | |
PALS Circle is an hour of enjoyable connection, support and friendship among LGBTQ+ seniors and allies. There's no agenda, no formal topic — just fun conversation and camaraderie each Monday from 6:00 to 7:00 PM on ZOOM. Sign up to receive PALS Circle announcements here.
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Lesbians Embracing Aging
Lesbians Embracing Aging: An Introduction
The mission of LEA is to encourage and assist LBTQIA women with healthy aging by creating
support networks of socialization, information, and healthcare.
We are forming a hub of LBTQIA Women and allies willing to help one another navigate the
changes and challenges of aging and help make the myriad of available services more accessible.
Please join us for our next meeting as we make progress toward our goals.
If you would like more information, be on our email list or join us for our next meeting TBA Please send an email to
LEAofCoachellaValley@gmail.com
The LEA women:
Kelly Watson, Lauren Nile, Barbara Tyler, Rita Gonzales, Kate Ullman, Ronni Sanlo
Exciting News! Join Our New LEA Facebook Group
We’re thrilled to introduce a new way for LEA members to connect and support one another—our brand-new Facebook group, The LEA Bulletin Board!
Click the link below to access the page, then hit the blue “Join Group”button. You’ll be asked to answer three quick questions, and an administrator will approve your request.
This is a private group—only LEA members can see discussions. Once you’re in, be sure to adjust your notification settings by clicking on the gray “Joined” button and selecting “Manage Notifications.” We recommend choosing “All Posts” so you don’t miss out!
What’s This Group For?
Connection & Conversation – A space for us to chat about topics related to aging (and embracing it!).
Support & Community – A place to lend a helping hand and uplift each other when needed.
We’d love for you to introduce yourself, join the conversation, and most importantly—have fun! See you there!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1842826446542272
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Evening Chat Group 5:00pm to 6:30 pm Every Wednesday
LIDS (Lesbians In The Desert) Wednesday evenings, join us for a lively Zoom chat, catch up with friends, and make new ones! Open to Lesbians in and out of the Coachella Valley — California — all 50 States — and beyond. Please email NurseJaynes@yahoo.com to receive the invite with Zoom meeting ID & Passcode. Bring a friend! Hosted by Cindy T, Crickett, & Jayne
Hosted by Crickett and Cindy
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1st and 3rd Fridays are Wine Down Friday’s with the Coachella Valley Ladies of Justice and a Guest Speaker at theV-Lounge 5PM-6:30P. 600 E Tahquitz Canyon Way, Palm Springs.
Network, share info about your business/upcoming event or just drop-by to unwind and make new friends!
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Gay Country Western Dancing - Saturday Nights
Join the Dance Ranch for a great night of country western dancing, including two-step, waltz, shadow, East and West Coast swing, and line dances.
It all happens at Step By Step
933 Crossley Road, Palm Springs.
Admission is $5
Lesson is at 7pm. Dancing from 7:30-9:30pm
Dance Ranch Palm Springs is a country western dance group serving the LGBTQ+ community and its friends. Country dancers of all levels are welcome!
Learn more about Dance Ranch and find out what they’re teaching at danceranchps.org.
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Our history will NOT be hidden!
Not with us two old lesbians and our awesome guests on guard! Our free podcast LGBTQ History Alive! with Ronni and Kelly begins
January 1, 2024.
Meet the Two Old Lesbians!
Ronni Sanlo, Ed.D. is a retired UCLA professor and LGBTQ Center director, founder of the award-winning Lavender Graduation, and editor of the four volume This Day in LGBTQ History. Kelly Watson, Ph.D, DDS, is a retired recovery center director and business professional, and still and always involved with 12 step recovery.
2024 Schedule - Check it Out!
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