Tips for Supporting your Children/Students:

1. Don’t panic (well of course you probably will panic a little, give yourself a moment to do so, then interact with your child). You have been a parent this long, you know your children, trust in that. How you react is how they react. So if you are able to approach a situation as calmly as you can (when you are ready), your child will learn to do the same.

2. Validate feelings. There are two broad ways we can respond to another person in distress: 1. Validate their experience. 2. Problem solve In most instances, just listening and “being there” for your child is more than enough. Letting them talk through an issue with you without responding, judging, or jumping to solutions is incredibly validating and they will appreciate you for it. Many situations do not have a “fix” and so you may not actually do any problem solving with your child depending on the context. In other instances, if there are some solutions to be found, you can talk with your child about that when they have had a chance to state their feelings first and be heard.

3. Problem solve. If they are able to/need to get to this point, help them to “brainstorm” their own solutions. They are becoming independent adults and will need to figure out their own means of finding solutions, coping, and seeking support other than through their parents. *I know this is terrifying and difficult, while also necessary to help them.* Help them to settle on what they think are the best options while still guiding if needed depending on a more or less useful solution.

4. Recommend resources. Ask if they have sought out a friend, teacher, or administrative office to address the major issue. Eastern is available to help! We are a supportive community dedicated to helping your children to succeed. All contacts here want to be of help. Many students may be reluctant for a variety of reasons, and this is where your support can help.

5. CAPS is here if they need it. While many issues in college can be dealt with without seeking therapy, others need it. That is absolutely okay and to be expected at times. Students can call CAPS (860-465-0181) or come into 423 Webb Hall to make an appointment directly. We also offer urgent hours from Monday-Friday 1-3pm for immediate crisis issues. Students can also speak to a clinician over the phone any time CAPS is closed through our Protocall service (same main number as CAPS).

Keep in mind that any student over 18 has complete confidentiality within our office. Therefore, you cannot receive any information about their booking an appointment, attendance at CAPS, or any other clinical information without a release of information. We know this may feel frustrating at times. This aspect of confidentiality is often what makes therapy most useful for most folks, knowing that what they “say in here, stays in here.”

This is a short example of some broader issues. If you are in need of additional information and resources, feel free to listen to the College Counseling Corner podcast by myself and Dr. Jordan Barnard of Amherst College. This podcast is largely dedicated to the college student audience and also provides valuable info that we believe would be helpful to parents as well. There is an episode titled “Help Me Help You!” that addresses many of the issues I have covered above in greater detail.

This is a weird, worrisome, and also exciting time for your children. You may not always feel it (and they may not either some days), but trust in the fact that you have been a “good enough” parent thus far. Your children would not be at college in the first place if this was not the case. Take care of yourselves and have a great fall. – Greg Betz, Psy.D., Associate Counselor, CAPS