Common Misconceptions About Your Child's Rights

Some parents have misconceptions about the rights of their children with learning issues. Common ones are:

#1 Your child needs a diagnosis before a school will evaluate him or her.       

No. Actually, a medical diagnosis by a doctor can give you insight about your child’s issues but your child doesn’t need one to be evaluated by the school. You have the right to ask for an evaluation at any time. The evaluation process is designed to identify children who have special education needs.

#2 Your child must go through RTI before getting evaluated by the school. 

Not true. Some schools use response to intervention (RTI), which is a school wide approach to helping struggling students. RTI can be beneficial for your child’s learning but you can ask for an evaluation for special education even if your child currently receives services through RTI. You do not need to wait. Schools cannot use RTI as a reason to delay an evaluation.

#3 If your child has an IEP, the school must give her a superior education.

Too bad not true. Children who qualify for special education have a legal right to a free appropriate public education (FAPE) but that doesn't mean superior to that of other students.

#4: Your child can only get services in a special education classroom.

Wrong. Special education isn’t a place, it's a range of services to address your child’s unique needs in the least restrictive environment. This means, when possible, he or she should be in a general education classroom.

Bottom line, when it comes to your child’s legal rights, knowledge really is power.

Info from "Myths About Your Child’s Rights By Lyn Pollard

How a Child’s Issues Impact Parents

Parenting is a tough job no matter what. Parenting a child with special needs makes it even more challenging. It can often feel

Relentless

Kids can’t “turn off” their issues, so you are always “on.”

Consuming. Staying on top of your child’s issues requires a lot of energy, attention and organization.

Unpredictable

What you do to manage your child’s behavior one day may not work the next.

Exhausting

Running to appointments and keeping up with a child who may be overactive can be draining, even if you and your partner are trading off some or all of your child’s care. It’s likely you’re both tired.



Here are some of the most common challenges couples face when they have a child with disabilities.

Challenge #1: Differences of Opinion Sometimes, parents disagree with one another about their child’s diagnosis or treatment. One parent may think the other is being too easy on their child or too hard. This is frustrating for both and also difficult on the child who may react with even more behavior problems. 

Challenge #2: Different Coping Styles   Finding out their child has a disability is tough. Parents go through a grieving process which includes shock, denial, anger, guilt, acceptance and, eventually, moving forward. Often parents go through these stages at different rates.

Challenge #3: One Parent Takes the Lead The primary caregiver may feel that it’s not fair that he/she is almost entirely responsible for dealing with the school, finding resources and services and may resent the partner for not being more involved. Or may have trouble letting that partner get involved in the process since he/she is used to making most of the decisions.

Challenge Issue #4: Everything is About Their Child Some parents may feel that their entire relationship revolves around managing their child’s needs. Getting your child to appointments and school meetings takes a lot of time. And bedtime conversation may turn to issues about the child.

Your child’s issues can’t help but impact your relationship. The good news is that there are things you can do to ease the stress. Connecting with other parents can make you feel less alone. Building a support network may relieve some of the pressure. And making time to reconnect can help you see that your relationship is bigger than your child’s issues. It can become a stronger, closer relationship.

Info from Understood.com

AN IMPORTANT SKILL

Planning for your child’s transition from adolescence to adulthood is one of the most important things you can do to pave the way to a successful future. You and your son or daughter will start learning new skills side-by-side. As your youth begins to take on more responsibility, you will find new ways to provide support. Regardless of physical or cognitive ability, your youth can play an active role in the transition journey, and in determining his or her own life, if you provide encouragement and guidance along the way. 

1. Develop self-determination and self-advocacy skills

 All young people need a strong sense of their strengths, abilities, interests, and values. If students have a disability, they should also be aware of how it might affect them at work, in the community, and in their educational pursuits, and they should be able to explain it to others. Helping youth speak with understanding about their disability is one step to empowering them as they take on adult responsibilities of work, education, and independent living.

Transition is a time to explore how youth will talk about their disability in different settings and ask for any support or accommodation they will need. You can make sure your youth has a variety of opportunities to learn and practice self-advocacy and self-determination skills in the classroom, at student work sites, and in the community. The IEP could provide some of these opportunities. It is important for students to develop the skills to talk about their disability before they enter postsecondary education and the workforce. In order to be protected from discrimination under the Americans with Disabilities Act, the individual must disclose information about his or her disability to an employer or educational institution and explain the need for specific accommodations.

https://www.pacer.org

Mom Squad Virtual Support Group.

Join this parent group with ASCF and Family Partners on Thursdays, from 6-7:30 pm.

For more information contact Diane Varga

dvarga@familypartnersms.org  

or call her cell: 862-273-5046.

The Family Support Organization of Passaic County offers support group sessions (virtual and in-person in West Milford) on Tuesdays from 6:30- 8 pm. Contact Nina Reams:

nreams @fso-pc.org or 973-979-0508.