LOVE AND LOGIC ~ TIP OF THE WEEK
For the last several years we have placed a Love and Logic tip in our weekly newsletter. We are going to continue with that practice. These posts have been written by someone on the Love and Logic team and they serve as a good reminder as we partner with you and your family. It will give you a glimpse into how we are working with your children each day and throughout the year.
We are noticing so much about each of our students. We have noticed that they are really enjoying being back at school. We have noticed that they have been very flexible and we are impressed with how they are getting all the procedures down.
“Mommy! Look at me!”
“Daddy! Look at me!”
We’ve all heard this from our kids. We’ve also seen how their faces brighten when we stop what we are doing to notice their interests, unique gifts, or accomplishments. Built into our DNA is strong desire…a strong need…to be noticed.
Being noticed means that others enjoy us.
Being noticed means that we are valuable and loved.
Being noticed provides hope…even in the midst of very tough times.
Do this at least twice a week:
Say, “I notice that you___________."
• “I notice that you like to play with your cars. I noticed that.”
• “I notice that you like to talk on the phone with your friends.”
• “I notice that you keep your car really clean.”
• “I notice that you like to make things with wood.”
Warning—this can feel weird, particularly to teens who feel obligated to act cool or aloof. That’s okay. If you hear something like, “You are being so weird.” Just smile and reply, “I know,” and give them some space. It will work anyway.
When our kids act like they don’t like being noticed, it usually means that they need it all the more.
During tough times…like our world is experiencing right now…receiving the reassurance of being noticed goes a long way toward helping our kids cope. It decreases the odds that they will feel compelled to act out in order to gain our attention.
Thanks for reading!
Dr. Charles Fay