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September 2021 MV Mediation Program We Can Work It Out!

MEDIATION MUSINGS Sara Barnes, Executive Director There's a lot of conflict all around. It is hard not to feel down and demoralized. Climate change, COVID and the resulting mask and vaccination controversies, housing inequities, systemic racism, etc., etc. Today we honor a dramatic marker of conflict, the 20th anniversary of 9/11 and the the US intervention in Afghanistan. Seems like there's very little going on to keep our spirits up. The autumn season ushers in a reflective time for me. The abundance represented by the cornucopia contrasted against the waning light and decreasing temperature. The decrescendo of the tourist season and the slow return of Island civility and calm. The kids are back at school. The Jewish New Year and Day of Atonement. The nighttime crickets sing a song of the season and one might wonder, Where are we going next? Is there anything about which to be optimistic? I am hopeful. Maybe because I'm uniquely positioned to hear about unresolved conflicts every day. You may wonder: How can this be—that hearing about conflict leads to a hopeful spirit? My hope derives from what happens when those in conflict do the work to resolve their conflicts. If we set up a mediation, a coaching session, or a facilitation, something magical can happen—it often does. Those who are in conflict begin to learn something. They learn about themselves and what they think is important. They learn about the other person and what drives them and their values. They learn about the process of working together toward a solution instead of staying in opposition. I think of Merlin the Magician. T. H. White in the Once and Future King has him say this: “The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.” We do a lot of learning here at MV Mediation. We take courses, we teach each other what we know. We help clients to learn as they go through a conflict resolution process. Instead of giving up and walking away, we go toward the conflict. We delve in using conflict resolution tools and strategies that work. We look at the actions of others and try to stay nonjudgmental while we learn what makes them tick. We stay resolute and persistent, knowing that the only sure way to fail is to give up. We are glad you are here, learning along with us. There is only one thing for it then--to learn. Register HERE for Upcoming Courses

Click here to read our 2021 Annual Report.

Parent Mediation Program-- Divorce & Conflict Resolution Are you having trouble handling conflict at home? We can provide mediation or conflict coaching through phone or video conference. We have mediators with child development experience and can consider parent - teen mediation sessions based upon your circumstances. If you are looking for us to help you to recalculate your child support, you should know the Massachusetts Child Support guidelines have been updated and there is a new calculator as of October 2, 2021. If you need help talking with your spouse or partner, we are part of the Statewide Parent Mediation Program (PMP) providing parents--married, unmarried, divorced or separated--with up to 4 hours of free mediation. MVMP Family and Divorce mediators can provide you with mediation sessions to discuss parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions, and communication, or to renegotiate existing plans. Please contact the office to schedule an intake call. We are here to help. [email protected] or call 508 693-2199 

Youth Mediation Update Click here to take our YOUTH SURVEY Would you please help our Youth Program? Send any young person between 13 and 22 or any adult who works with youth to our survey. We would like to have a broad cross-section of responses as we seek to understand the conflict landscape for young people here on the Island. We will continue to work with the Regional High School and the Charter School this year. Where else are we needed? Survey here Email your survey to Katie Ruppel, our Youth Mediation Coordinator at [email protected]

Outreach to the Brazilian and Portuguese speaking community.

Our services are available for those from Dukes and Bristol Counties who speak Portuguese. Please reach out to us if we can help you with housing, family, neighbor, or community disputes. Nossos serviços estão disponíveis em português para os residentes em Dukes e Bristol County. Entre em contato conosco se voce necessita de ajuda com conflitos em casos de moradia, família, disputas com vizinhos, trabalho e na comunidade.

telefone (508) 693-2199 ou email [email protected]

RAFT /ERAP - HOUSING PROGRAM As part of the Statewide EDI, Eviction Diversion Initiative, MVMP is still actively providing FREE Mediation services via Zoom for Housing Cases in Dukes County and in Bristol County at the District Courts of Fall River, New Bedford, and Attleboro. If you are facing housing instability and can't make your rent payments, we can provide information about rental financial assistance programs such as RAFT (Rental Assistance for Families in Transition) or ERAP Emergency Rental Assistance Program).    For more information email [email protected] or call 508 693-2199 BOARD CORNER The Board of Directors met once this summer. Along with reviewing our many programs and course offerings and discussing our budget for fiscal year 2022, the Board passed the following motion to adopt the following as the MV Mediation Indigenous Land Statement. We acknowledge that we are standing on the land of the Wôpanâak (Wampanoag) people and nation, who settled this land at least 12,000 years ago and still celebrate it as home today. Although commonly referred to as Martha's Vineyard, this island has a much older name, a Wôpanâak name: Noëpe.   Through this acknowledgement, we wish to celebrate Wôpanâak culture, creativity, and perspective. We hope to honor Wôpanâak perseverance in the face of colonialism, invisibility, and cultural genocide. And we commit to restorative relationships and practices with the Wôpanâak people of Noëpe. After all, it is important to remember that no matter where you go in what is now the United States, you are always on indigenous land. Thank you to the Aquinnah Cultural Center and Museum Director Brad Lopes and ACC Board President Berta Welch, who is also a MV Mediation Board member, for helping us to create this statement and honor the Wampanoag and all indigenous peoples. AG FAIR Thank you to the MV Agricultural Society for allowing us to get the word out at the Ag Fair that we are part of the USDA Agricultural Mediation Program. If you know of a farm, aquaculture project, CSA, or farmstand that has a conflict, we may be able to help. Our Mission To serve our community by providing education, outreach, mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation, and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.  Our Vision To create an island of competent, capable, and effective conflict resolvers. MEDIATORS' Check-in Role -Plays, and Book Club Check-in every Wednesday to discuss aspects of mediation in our community. Contact [email protected] to join us by ZOOM. 9.15.21 IFS--A way for mediators and coaches to think about clients--and our own--contradictions 9.22.21 Feedback--Focusing on the post session debrief and the importance of giving and receiving feedback as a mediator and conflict coach 9.29.21 Youth Mediation--Reporting on the results of our needs assessment survey 10.6.21 Anti-Racist Organization--Reviewing excerpts from webinar on achieving our Diversity goals 10.13.21 Conflict Analysis--Mapping the conflict 10.20.21 Refining our questioning skills--Part II 10.27.21 Creating mediator mini-lectures Part II 11.3.21 Impasse--There is no such thing? Role plays for training mediators are up and going. Contact us at [email protected] to schedule a session.  This Way Out by Peter T. Coleman is our book club current read. Reading and discussion sessions are taking place every other Thursdays starting on 09/09/2021. Please contact us at [email protected] to join us. 

MVMP FY2022 Smart Goals Each June at the annual meeting, the Board of Directors sets four goals we would like to spend the year working to meet as an organization. For this coming year we have set our four goals as follows: Housing Mediation Program Continue to implement Housing Mediation Program serving Dukes and Bristol County populations to promote housing stability and prevent homelessness as part of the Governor’s Eviction Diversion Program. Agriculture Mediation Program Engage in a needs assessment process and an intensive project of outreach, education, and professional development for the Island agriculture and aquaculture communities. With over 50 farms and the world-renowned Martha’s Vineyard Agricultural Society, this is an area ripe for additional conflict resolution services. Improving Feedback Systems Over the many decades that MV Mediation has been in existence, getting feedback from parties involved in mediation and other services has been a challenge. We are planning to develop a new system and dedicate a staff person to increase the number of cases where we receive feedback. Deepen our Commitment to Diversity In our work to take steps toward dismantling structural racism within our organization, we have identified the Brazilian community as our focus for expansion and education. We will continue this focus as well as turn our attention to becoming more inclusive and knowledgeable about gender bias and gendered bias as we expand our commitment to becoming a diverse, equitable, and inclusive organization.

Why I Mediate: "Mediation is an eye-opening process of conflict resolution that removes friction and enables people to find a solution to a dispute through conversation." Paula Reidbord, Housing and Divorce Mediator

At MVMP our slogan is We Can Work It Out, Would you like to borrow this slogan? Feel free. You Can Work It Out! We are here if you need our help. 

Thank you for the amazing support of our donors and sponsors and to Rockland Trust Foundation, Cape Cod 5, and Cronig's Market for their continued support.

MV Mediation Program | mvmediation.org 508 693 2999

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