September 2019


Labor Day weekend is over, the unofficial end of summer! Football fans look forward to the season ahead, when the hard work and sacrifice of the off-season bear fruit on the field. Sacrifice is not an end in itself, but rather, something that we are willing to do—or to give up—for a greater good. This month the Church commemorates the greatest sacrifice in human history which led to the greatest good, as we celebrate the feast of the Triumph of the Cross on September 14th. Jesus gave his life out of love for us, and his supreme sacrifice led to our salvation.

Christ’s complete gift of self on the cross is the model of the kind of love we strive to show one another in Christian marriage. While it is highly unlikely that we are going to be called upon to literally give our life for our spouse as Jesus did, we have many opportunities to make small sacrifices day in and day out to show our love for each other. And while the players on the gridiron have only their own grit and determination to rely on, we have the grace of the sacrament of marriage to draw on day by day.

We hope that this issue of Marriage Matters will provide you with inspiration and practical advice to deepen your self-giving, sacrificial love for one another this month.

The Marriage & Family Ministry Staff
6 do's and don'ts for a quality apology
Apologies — being willing to say “I’m sorry” — are an important part of any relationship. But how do we apologize well, whether it’s to a roommate, family member, significant other or spouse? Here are a few tips — what to do, and what not to do — to help build a quality apology.
Married love and the cross
Looking over my sister’s wedding photographs recently, I was struck by the prominence of the Crucifix overlooking the altar where she and my brother-in-law exchanged their vows. Amidst the flowers, lace and radiant smiles hung an image of a naked man, abandoned by his friends and dying in agony. Yet there he was, hanging between them as if uniting them. I thought: Isn’t the Cross out of place in a wedding? What does the Crucifix have to do with marriage?
What are the advantages of marrying your best friend?
Researchers found that spouses who are best friends are twice as happy as those who are not. Not only do the spouses share ideas and values that become stronger over time, but they also have the possibility of a deeper, more honest, and more mutually accepting relationship, which helps consolidate their love.
Made For Love: The 5 love languages (podcast)
Described in a popular book by Gary Chapman, the five love languages are five ways that we give and receive love; and some of them speak to us better than others . Host Sara Perla talks about the love languages in marriage with Francis and Julia Dezelski, Bryan and Liz Smalley, and Craig and Stephanie Rapp.
Questions to foster emotional intimacy
Early in a relationship, couples have an easier time asking probing questions to get to know each other in a deeper way. But after the honeymoon phase has waned, couples can easily default to questions that require a simple response like: “How was your day?” or “How was work?” Asking thoughtful questions then actively listening to the answers your spouse gives can foster emotional intimacy and connection between a husband and wife. 
Marriage Tip of the Month

Be on the lookout for small sacrifices you can make this month to show your love for your spouse.
Memorial Masses for those who have lost a child  

If you have lost a child before or after birth (including through miscarriage or abortion), please join us for a special Memorial Mass on each side of the diocese in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. You will have the opportunity to record your child’s name in a Book of Remembrance, to take home a silk rose in honor of him or her, and to pray together with others who have suffered the loss of their little ones. Sponsored by Marriage & Family Ministry, Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend. For more information, please contact Lisa Everett at 574-234-0687 or email .

Thursday, October 10 th  - 7:00 PM Tuesday, October 29 th 7:00 PM
St. Thérese, Little Flower Church, South Bend St. John the Baptist Church, Fort Wayne
Celebrant: Fr. Ryan Pietrocarlo, CSC Celebrant: Fr. Andrew Budzinski