Friday afternoon’s first annual Sequoia Pride Fair was an ideal way to kick-off Mid-Winter Break. It was a student-led event sponsored by our Gender-Sexuality Alliance, whose leader, Ethan Thacker, also happens to be our Senior Class President. There was Boba (essential, obviously), live music, games, movies, and swag galore. The casual setting, which included tables from community partners the San Mateo County Pride Center and the San Jose/Peninsula chapter of PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), lent itself to candid conversations.
Whenever I have the chance to talk to a community partner, my question is always the same, “How can Sequoia do a better job supporting and serving the students we have in common?” The responses I heard and the dialogue that ensued was illuminating both as an educator and a parent. Both groups acknowledged that schools (along with society) have come a long way. Tolerance has given way to celebration when it comes to gender and sexual identity. Staff has been trained and makes strong efforts in practical areas like affirming pronouns and inclusive curriculum. Bullying on the basis of gender and sexual identity is not tolerated the way it was when many of us grew up, and enforcement of these norms is largely the work of students among their peers.
I can’t remember the last time I overheard someone around campus say, “that’s so gay” in a pejorative tone.
It was also acknowledged, however, that we have far to go with respect to upholding LGBTIQA+ members of our community. Staff from the Pride Center shared stories about youth for whom school may be a safe space, but the situation at home was not positive. Either because of general instability or lack of support, San Mateo County mirrors other parts of the country with regards to higher rates of undesirable outcomes among LGBTIQA+ youth, running the gamut from mental health struggles to addiction to being unhoused or worse. In some regards (like the Friday afternoon Pride Fair itself), we are an oasis; in others, we are like everywhere else.
Representatives from PFLAG, both parents of LGBTIQA+ children, shared their own stories with me to illustrate some of the challenges our young people face. To put it plainly, parents just don’t know what to do. This feeling of helplessness manifests itself in many negative ways, especially when experienced in conjunction with other stressors. We discussed our shared interest in helping connect families to resources, peers, and information to help them navigate the developmental milestones unique to the LGBTIQA+ population. This message is a rudimentary first step. PFLAG is a global organization, dedicated to supporting families. Pass the word. The Pride Center of San Mateo is a local organization but serves communities up and down the Peninsula. Their staff is welcoming, knowledgeable, and eager to help.
I hope everyone has a safe and restful break and that this message finds someone who may benefit from these community resources.
Have a great week!
Best,
Sean
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