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From the Rabbi:
Believe it or not, Yom Kippur is not about feeling guilty. While you may be surprised to hear a rabbi say that, by now, you're probably not so surprised anymore to hear ME saying that.
Now, I hear you thinking, "C'mon Rabbi, all day we confess. SO much of the liturgy is us apologizing, how could it not be about feeling guilty? Why are we apologizing if it's not about guilt?
Well, let me ask you this... The Mussaf service ends with the successful expiation and forgiveness of all our sins. So, why then do we confess again at Mincha? Let me therefore suggest that there's another vital function of confession beyond apologizing, beyond restoring relational harmony and procuring forgiveness. That function is calibration of our moral compass.
By confessing - and even more so by confessing from a standardized list rather than from our own memory and conscience we're attuning ourselves to God's 'conscience' as it were, and showing ourselves and Hashem that we are aligned in our picture of what behaviors are appropriate to apologize for.
I certainly hope none of us at KOT are actually saying to Hashem "Sorry God, I'll try to murder a little less this year". Nevertheless we all repeat again and again "for the sin of shedding blood". I think we generally can all agree that murder isn't something God approves of, and therefore if we have committed it, even vicariously or as a passive accomplice, that's certainly not a behavior we want to carry forward. The same is true of every sin on the list. By apologizing we demonstrate to Hashem and instill within our own conscience that we reject this behavior. In this way, confession is about aligning our conscience to God's will. We're not trying to reach a plea-bargain and 'get away' with our sins, we're showing Hashem and ourselves that we're on board with His benevolent vision for us. We're downloading and installing that vision into our own self-diagnostic system files.
All year long our Souls have access to that vision of our potential which is sealed into the Book of Life on Yom Kippur. The work of the year is to train our mind, emotions and body and teach them to behave according to the soul's vision. For some of us the mind is a wild horse, needing to be broken so as to receive instructions. For others, the feelings are more difficult and still other struggle to train their bodies. Kadosh Kadosh Kadosh - we want all three lined up with God's Glory.
Part of the greatness of Yom Kippur is that for a day, we sort of remove the body layer and focus just on our soul. And how do we do that? Confession. We give ourselves free reign to confess anything and everything that we find frustrating about trying to ride around on these three not-always-domesticated animals. Even if we as individuals aren't carrying personal guilt for murder, we let our soul freely indulge in demonstrating its oneness with its Source by articulating its conviction that murder is wrong. At-one-ment.
There is yet another vital function of confession which is served by the fact that all our confessions are done in the first person plural. WE sinned. WE spilled blood. WE were corrupt, etc. That is the function of communal identification. All of us are confessing for the the sins of all humanity. Remember the very first thing we say at Kol Nidre is that "we permit praying alongside sinners". We join shoulder to shoulder with everyone, EVERYONE and confess all together. Much like last week's "You are all standing here together today", there is no 'them', only a very big and sinful us. Indeed, WE have spilled blood. If it doesn't fit, your WE is too wee.
So, in this weeks parsha, as we prepare for Yom Kippur we read the final two mitzvot in the Torah. The Hakhel, in which the ENTIRE people are gathered together in the Temple, (including the foreigner!) and hear the King read from Sefer Devarim, and the mitzvah of each and every person to write a Sefer Torah. When we remember the idea that each person is like a letter in the Torah, these two mitzvot are remarkably similar. We all need to be together, and each of us needs to have all of together in their heart. Once again, at-one-ment.
May we always be with Hashem as one person with one heart.
Shabbat Shalom and Gemar Chatima Tovah,
Reb Shlomo
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