Parashat Vayeira
To Destroy or Not to Destroy that is the Amicably Argued Question.
This week’s Torah portion Vayeira contains an interesting and paradigm-shifting episode. I am referring to a well-known exchange between God and Abraham.
Here is the set-up: God tells Abraham of God’s plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Upon hearing the news, Abraham decides to argue with God about the Deity’s decision. And so begins a negotiation in which Abraham questions whether God will destroy the righteous together with the wicked.
Abraham begins by querying whether God would destroy the city if there were 50 righteous people within its borders. God’s reply is, “If I find in Sodom fifty righteous people in the midst of the city, then I would spare the entire place.”
Feeling emboldened, Abraham asks whether God might save the city if there were 45 righteous people. Again, God capitulates and agrees not to destroy the city if there are 45 righteous people.
The negotiation continues, with Abraham whittling down the number of righteous needed to save the cities from 40, to 30, to 20. Finally Abraham asks God to spare the cities if God can find just ten righteous people. At this point, God replies, “I will not destroy on account of ten”. God then, abruptly, leaves and we shortly learn that Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed. This leads to the sad conclusion that God could not find even ten righteous people there.
The occurrence causes the reader to make some interesting observations. First, imagine the chutzpah of Abraham to not only question God’s decision, but to actually negotiate with God. Who argues with the Creator of the universe?! On the other hand it is equally extraordinary that God actually goes along and engages in a tête-à-tête with Abraham. What Deity actual negotiates with His/Her creation?
One lesson this piece of Text teaches us is that God seeks to hear from us and wants to engage with us. God could have ignored Abraham but, instead, chose to connect with the patriarch. Secondly, God does not want us to be “yes” people. Instead God wants us to provide honest assessments of the world around us and maybe even of God.
Perhaps the most interesting lesson to be learned is in the way both Abraham and God comport themselves in the midst of the negotiation. The conversation is collegial. It sticks to the facts and neither side resorts to unnecessary or unkind rhetoric. Abraham could have pointed out to God that God had already tried the whole “destruction of the world” experiment with Noah which did not seem to work, so why would God look to repeat this mistake with Sodom and Gomorrah.
On the other hand, God could have reminded Abraham that he was a mere mortal and therefore had no right to point out flaws in God’s plans or to seek mercy on behalf of others.
By not raising negative issues and keeping the discussion to the facts and the issues, and by avoiding personal attacks or unconstructive rhetoric, God and Abraham are showing how a discussion or a negotiation should be conducted.
In our personal lives, our business lives, our institutional lives, and our volunteer lives, we should be mindful of this oft forgotten lesson. Disagreement should not be an invitation for disagreeable behavior. The amicable resolution of disputes will be easier to attain when parties engage in respectful and thoughtful dialogue.
We should each follow the example set by God, the Creator, and by Abraham, the father of our people. Torah teaches us to advocate for that in which we believe. At the same time it requires us to do so in a manner that will not do harm to the underlying relationship.
We can argue, debate, and negotiate, but always remember that each of us is created in God’s image. Be forceful but kind. Be tough but compassionate. Freely express your position, but always seek to understand the view of the other.
Shabbat Shalom – Rabbi Michael S. Jay
