|
Shalom Shaarei Kodesh,
Doug Bender always had a flair for the dramatic, and the week he left us reflected that, not because it was New Year’s Eve, but because his passing came between two of the most powerful parshiot in the Torah, Vayehi and Shemot.
Vayehi, which literally means “and he lived,” is not really about life at all. It is about death and legacy. Jacob gathers his sons around him to offer his final blessings before leaving this world, and by the end of the parashah, everyone he blesses has died.
Then, suddenly, the Torah turns the page, and this week’s parashah, Shemot, begins with the very same list of names. So what gives?
Rashi notices something beautiful and a little surprising. The Torah already listed the names of Jacob’s family once while they were alive, when they went down to Egypt. Why list them again now, long after their deaths, when they no longer seem to play an active role in the story?
Rashi answers that this is because that is how precious they are to God. God does not only count them when they enter the story. God counts them again when they leave it. Rashi then offers this stunning image. The Jewish people are like the stars. Just as God brings out the stars each night and brings them in by name when their light fades, so too God knows every soul, not as part of a crowd, but as a unique and beloved being.
In other words, no one disappears anonymously. No life is ever just a number. Every name matters. Every story matters. Every person is held in God’s memory with love. Honestly, this is one of my favorite teachings from Rashi; I think about it every morning when I quote the Psalms he quotes in the commentary. It reminds us that in Judaism, being counted is not about statistics. It is about belonging.
We were all shocked and heartbroken to learn of the sudden passing of Doug Bender. Yet this teaching from Rashi offers us comfort. Doug’s name, his life, and his story remain deeply known and deeply cherished by this community and by God. Doug lived his life so that others can feel at home and feel like they belong.
As I spoke about in my eulogy, Doug lived his life with that same understanding of what it means to matter. But do not mistake the crown of a good name for self-importance. Doug was deeply humble. He hated when people called CSK “Doug Bender’s shul” because he built it for us, not for himself.
On Sunday, I shared the story of my very first conversation with Doug. He told me about the “but fors” that keep CSK alive, but for Amy, Dara, and Nicole scrubbing the storefront floors on their hands and knees. But the truth is this. But for Doug Bender, we would not be here. There would likely be no CSK. Every simcha we have celebrated exists because of Doug. I will be forever grateful, and so should every person who is blessed to be part of this community, past, present, and future.
The best way to honor Doug is to show up to shul, and for community, and show up often. I hope you can join us this Shabbat at Shaarei Kodesh.
Wishing you all a Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi David Baum
Click here to read Rabbi Baum's Eulogy
Click on the image below to watch the funeral
| 
