“I am not talking only about liking him. I am telling you to make him your friend
and to let him make you his friend.”
- David Malter to Reuven Malter in Chaim Potok’s
The Chosen, page 69
The film adaptation of The Chosen by Chaim Potok has long served as a jumping-off point in our 7th grade Gesher class for discussions about how we navigate changing relationships as we grow into adults. In The Chosen, Danny and Rueven start as chevruta (study partners) after Danny injures Rueven at a baseball game. The two then form an unlikely friendship across cultural boundaries and become important emotional supports to each other during hard times.
Pairing off for discussion is a common teaching method, one that I’ve used many
times in many contexts. But Jewish tradition tells us there is a mystical, intangible, and
holy aspect to chevruta practice that goes beyond the simple pairing off. As Rabbi
Bronwen Mullin points out in her essay "
A World of More Chevruta", it can be emotionally challenging to integrate new information into our world views, especially when the information may challenge our preconceptions of the world or our place in it. Chevruta learning gives us a buddy who can help keep us open to new ideas and process difficult emotions arising from the learning process. This year I’ve seen our teens challenge each other and hold each other with grace and compassion, particularly in Chavaya, a class that took a deep dive into immigration justice.
Naturally, in times of sickness, grief, and emotional turbulence, a chevruta pair
leans on each other for support, and this is really the magical part of Jewish education
work for me. Our students lean on each other and on the community we have built at
Beth Emet sometimes without even realizing they are doing it. Of course, it would be
possible to just come and bake cupcakes together and leave with our bellies full of
sugar and not much else, but again and again I’ve seen our students find deep
meaning, senses of belonging, and sometimes even healing from being in the
supportive and caring environment of Beth Emet’s youth programs.
This culture of care and community-mindedness has been around far longer than I have. In fact, it’s the very same culture that nurtured, healed, and supported me throughout high school and college. It comes from you taking the time to read this note and from you investing yourself in Beth Emet, and it comes from us making the active decision to care about each other and to show that care through our actions and attitudes.
I Samuel 20:42 “'May the Eternal be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants forever.'” These are Jonathan’s final words to David as they tearfully depart from one another. The way I interpret this verse is that on the scale of Jewish time two people departing from one another may feel catastrophic, but it does not need to be the ultimate end of the relationship. As Owen Levens taught us at the BESSY service, we are all one people, and we will always be united as one people together.
So this is my tearful goodbye to serving as your youth director. It has been a joy
and an honor. May the Eternal be between me and you, and between our descendants
forever.
Warmly,
Sam Rose
Director of Youth Engagement
