Hi, I am Ashley Clauer, Owner and Director of Wanderlust Yoga Austin.
I am writing today to open my heart and share a story that most people in my life are unaware of. This is not an easy thing for me, as for over 13 years I buried this deeply wounding secret from most everyone I know, including some family and my greatest friends. But, the time has come that I lift the veil of shame, allow my voice to rise up and shed light on a topic that is all too frequently silenced.
In 2003, when I was just 19 years old and a college student at Arizona State University, a harrowing and unforeseen encounter occurred. In the middle of the night, a man intruded my apartment, covered my face with a pillow and brutally raped, assaulted and nearly killed me.
I never saw the face of the person who shattered my life into pieces and I lived in total fear and isolation as I did not know who this man was or where he might be. In an effort to cope, I was on a dangerous path in life using destructive methods to numb the pain, fear and trauma that quite honestly was too big of a burden for me to face or to share. I lost control of my actions, my thoughts and I lost the connection to the whispers of my soul. I lost my light to the darkness....
or so I thought.
Until one day, I stumbled into a yoga class. My mother had done yoga every night growing up which opened the doors for my journey, but this was the first time I found yoga for myself. Slowly but surely, pose by pose, breath by breath, I began to peel back the layers of darkness and fear and reconnected to my inner strength, peace, and my light. I began to take control of my panic attacks through meditation and breath control exercises. Not only did yoga begin to heal me, at this point in time I can wholeheartedly say yoga saved my life.
In 2010 (7 years later) after relocating back to Austin, I received a call that my perpetrator, a complete stranger, had been caught and was arrested through a DNA match. In May of 2016, the trial ended and he was sentenced to nearly 138 years in prison for my case alone.
I am sharing this story because I know how horrific it is to try to overcome trauma and suffer in silence. While my journey of healing will be a life long battle, I thank God every day that I found yoga. I now also realize that I am called to share my story, and hopefully shed a light of hope for others on this path. You don't have to do this alone, and you sure as hell don't have to do it in silence.
In early 2017, Wanderlust Yoga Austin will launch Rising Voices, a program that Shanti Kelley and I have been working tirelessly on to empower others to start their own healing journey through yoga. More to come on this very soon....
We can't control the things that happen in our lives, but we can control the type of people we become from them---how we rise above. We all have a story and are fighting a battle of our own, and I hope you know you always have a family here at Wanderlust.
Thank you for giving me some of your time and opening your hearts to my story.
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
May all beings everywhere know peace, love and the end to their suffering.
Love,
Ashley
