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Reflections on the Minnesota Shooting

When tragedy strikes, our first question is why? If we can understand why someone would commit such violence, perhaps we can stop it. Perhaps we can feel safe again—and our children can feel safe too.

Was it rooted in childhood abuse? An upbringing steeped in entitlement? A mind wired wrong from the beginning? Does this culture send the message that only extraordinary success and winners are of value? Did hormone therapy complicate things, or was it a desperate attempt at self-escape? Why did no one notice the signs, and why did no adult step in? Did cuts in staffing at the FBI or DHS allow this person to slip through the cracks?

There could be many reasons. We don’t know—and that uncertainty makes us deeply uncomfortable. What seems clear is that this was not about their transgender identity. That, I believe, was a last effort to flee from unbearable thoughts and feelings, to find another version of themselves.

The act itself feels like a scream: “I matter now—don’t I?” Is it agony that drives someone to the point where they would sacrifice children to prove their existence, or is it a psychopath wanting to feel something, anything?

I am stunned, saddened, and afraid. Gun control could reduce the damage, yet the deeper question lingers, as it does with a serial murderer: why? And more urgently, what would truly work to lessen the occurrence of these events?

Road log

Dorien and I have definitely been in the RV together for too long. We both swear at the same instance at idiot drivers, and we both use the same words.

A rest day in Rice Lake, Oregon. Laundry spun, tanks emptied, water refilled. Floors vacuumed and mopped, cupboards untangled from their snarled mess, fridge cleaned after a speed bump toppled the bulgogi sauce.

Yesterday was less forgiving—the previous night’s meal made a hasty exit out the digestive tract, testing both patience and distance on I-5. Ten miles to the next exit felt like an eternity. Not pretty, but survivable.

Today, all systems run smoothly. The RV park we’ve landed in is now nearly 80% full-time residents—a sign of the times. So many, especially seniors, can no longer afford houses or apartments. And yet, community blooms here. People stroll along shaded paths with their dogs, stopping to talk or they gather in the laundry room, where stories are exchanged, puzzles are pieced together, and updates are passed along among the din of washers and dryers.

This morning, we were short a dollar fifty for the dryer. A woman beside us—working at the park to cover her rent—quietly offered the change. Likely not the first time she’s done so. A simple kindness, but telling.

We carry gratitude for this summer: for the beauty of Canada and the U.S., for friends who welcomed, fed, and embraced us. In Canada, life seems to move forward quietly. In America, the air hums with contingency plans—Plan B, then C, then D. People worry about extreme weather, about shrinking Social Security, about how to age in place—or, if not, how to afford long-term care.

We drive through towns gone hollow—just a gas station and a Dollar General holding on where once everyone knew each other’s names and looked out for each other. Many RV parks seem to be becoming the new small town.

Here we meet families with young children, we meet retired teachers, nurses, and retired couples. At night, they gather around fire pits, voices soft into the dark, sharing the day and the world. I hadn’t expected to find peace here, but there is something steady, almost sacred, in this kind of belonging. I hadn’t expected peace here, but it finds us anyway.

Of course this RV park is no paradise. There will be gossip, small grievances, neighbors who rub each other the wrong way. Some parks, worn with age, carry a sense of unease. And yet, what I don’t see here is loneliness. I see an elderly woman with her dog, stopping again and again to exchange words, laughter, fragments of story at the doorways she passes.

In youth, our lives are braided with family, with classmates, with the constant web of work and friendship. But so many of those threads unravel in the quiet of retirement. What we need—what we are hungering for—are ways to weave ourselves back together. To shape small, affordable circles of belonging, where age is not a sentence to solitude but an opening into community.

Meanwhile, the wider world rushes forward: cancer vaccines, therapies for dementia, whispers of nuclear fusion, AI weaving dreams of possibility. Miracles of science abound—but they cannot fill the old hunger. We still need to belong. To be seen. To give and to receive. To open our hearts to one another, and to the living world that holds us.

As bone depends on muscle, as lungs lean on heart, so too must we find our place in the body of humanity. Our future is not only in technology but in remembering how to be with each other—and with this fragile, shining earth.

Kim

My book Travels Into Discomfort is available on Amazon.

It is a travel adventure in its prose and a journey to the heart in its poetry.

Travels Into Discomfort

Brian Eno on Carnival (think Mardi Gras or Carnival in Rio). Why a good carnival is a good metaphor for a good culture.

"Carnival is good when it dignifies and rewards all sorts of abilities — singing, jumping, laughing infectiously, dressing weirdly, writing the hit song of the carnival, wiggling your backside, standing on a soapbox praising Jesus or the local hardware store, frying salt fish over an oil drum in public, inventing symphonic arrangements for steel bands, designing and building fabulously impossible things. Carnival is good when people try to outdo each other, and then applaud with delight those who in turn outdo them. Carnival is good when it gives people an alibi to become someone different.

Carnival is good when it lets people present the best part of themselves, and be, for a little while, as they’d like to be all the time. Carnival is good when it gives people the feeling that they’re really lucky to be alive right here and now. Carnival is good when it leaves people with the feeling that life in all its bizarre manifestations is unbeatably lovely and touching and funny and worthwhile."

And yes there is a little carnival culture in RV parks

Barbara Carpenter Realtor 

Shann Carr

Comedian, Event Producer, Realtor, A Lesbian Concierge In The Desert

Andrea Voras, Gerontologist Dementia Specialist Life Aging Life Care Manager 

Constance Clare-Newman, Somatic Work for Pain Relief and Stress Reduction

Corlyce Photography 

Chris Ann Kallgren Realtor 

Sunny Designs-Website & Graphic Design & Video

Rice Notary 

Nancy Minger - Massage Therapist 

Poochsitter 

Motivation Changes — Life Coaching - Dr Ann Sarah Engel, MSW, PhD  

The Roost

V Lounge

New Book - Show Her The Money

• Cork Women's Fun Weekend
• AdventureWomen: organizes exceptional women’s only travel groups spots around the globe.
• Trafalgar: offers women-only guided vacations to various destinations, with local female guides and experts.
• Road Scholar: provides educational and cultural trips for women of all ages and interests.
• Adventures in Good Company: creates active and adventurous trips for women who love the outdoors.
• Intrepid Travel’s Women’s Expeditions: explores local cultures and traditions from a female perspective, with female leaders and hosts.

Fur babies needing family at Animal Samaritans

Shelter — Animal Samaritans

Email me at gabriolakim@gmail.com if you want something posted on the bulletin board, or an event promoted.

What to do in July in Greater Palm Springs

Singles Mingles - Sept 13th 11:30am

Hello all single lesbians!!..time for another singles mingle…this time we will gather at 11:30 at Pizzaria Bambino’s…in Cathedral City… mark your calendar for Sept 13..Saturday…any questions just call me 909 223-7010..Diane Turner.  A gathering for fun, food, and friendships…good times!!! Come join us and let’s be friends

LEA News

Midsummer Update

Through our private Facebook Group, The LEA Bulletin Board we are reaching new goals toward a connected community. In addition to periodic information on aging, we now have created two new gathering functions. Our new Events Coordinator, Shirelle Alexander, facilitates monthly outings, giving members a number of possibilities to choose from and most recently we have a new Singles Mingles group, organized by Diane Turner that’s already had its first successful meeting. More activities are in the works. Additionally, our LEA transportation team, inspired by Katie Ullman has also worked very hard to give us quality presentations ranging from how to negotiate the new laws impacting the coexistence of bikes and motor vehicles, to creating a relationship with Sunline Transit explaining the wide range of transportation services for seniors and then taking that information to the wider Greater Palm Springs area.

If you are an older lesbian and would like to connect with others, please consider joining us. You can start by signing up for our monthly newsletter and then, if you’d like to connect more often, join our private Facebook group. It’s about Connection & Conversation - a space for us to chat about topics related to aging (and embracing it!), as well as Support & Community – a place to lend a helping hand and uplift each other when needed. 

To sign up for the newsletter let us know here:

 leaofcoachellavalley@gmail.com

To sign up for the Facebook group let us know here:

PLEASE NOTE:  ALL APPLICANTS MUST ANSWER BRIEF QUESTIONS and AGREE TO GROUP RULES.   Click here

To attend the monthly LEA Zoom meeting mark your calendar for the second Monday of each month at 11:00 AM – and follow the Zoom link below (rare exceptions will be announced in the LEA newsletter, the Facebook Bulletin Board, and Kim Keiler’s Lesbians of Palm Springs and Coachella Valley newsletter).  Click here

To read LEA’s mission click here: 

KAREN COBB WILL BE AT THE ROOST ON SATURDAY FROM 6-9PM. FOR RESERVATIONS, GO TO: ticketbud.com

MARISA CORVO PERFORMS AT THE ROOST ON SUNDAYS

AT 6:30PM. TICKETS AT ticketbud.com. 

LEANNA ROGERS AND MIGUEL  WILL NOT BE PERFORMING AT THE V LOUNGE  MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 1 

REBECCA CLARK WILL BE AT THE ROOST ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 FROM 6-9PM. TICKETS AVAILABLE ON  ticketbud.com.



SEAN WIGGINS WILL BE PERFORMING AT HUNTERS ON SATURDAY, AUGUST 30 FROM 5-7PM.

GENNINE FRANCIS WILL BE PERFORMING AT THE ROOST ON SATURDAYS FROM 6-9PM. RESERVATIONS CAN BE MADE ON LINE AT: ticketbud.com.

LEANNA ROGERS AND MIGUEL WILL BE PERFORMING AT THE V LOUNGE MONDAYS FROM 5-8PM. $5 COVER CHARGE AND LEANNA AND THE FREE AGENTS ON FRIDAYS FROM 6-8PM AT HYATT, PALM SPRINGS.

Rainbow Alliance of the Spiritual Center is Proud to announce.** Boots on the Ground ** **Spiritual Center of Palm Desert! ** Save the date: Oct. 17th, 6 PM - 10 PM Dinner, Dancing, Libations, Raffle Prizes, and Endless Fun! 

Put on your favorite boots and get ready to kick up your heels for an evening filled with joy, laughter, and community spirit. Don't miss out—this is sure to sell out! Grab your friends and dance the night away to the Live Music of the Awesome “ Pulp Vixen Band”  Call to purchase your reserved seats now!

760-346-4649

A protest poem by Kathy Sisson

https://lesbiansps.com/community-voices

Guess who's coming to dinner? No, Sydney Poitier is no longer with us, but the legendary Holly Near is very much alive—and she’s coming to the Sunset Music & Comedy Festival! Get ready for a night of incredible music, powerful performances, and a celebration you won’t forget!

JUST ADDED! The iconic Holly Near will join us for a very special tribute to Women’s Music—the powerful genre born from the feminist and LGBTQ+ movements of the ’70s that gave voice to women’s stories, struggles, and strength. Holly, a trailblazer in this movement, helped shape a sound that empowered generations and created space for women, especially queer women, to be heard and celebrated.

Grab your discounted Two-Day Groove Pass now and join us for an unforgettable celebration of music, community, and liberation. Let’s groove, uplift, and show our Pride together! Tickets here! https://onthestage.tickets/sbj-presents.../subscriptions...

Sunset Music & Education Foundation - Subscriptions

PALM SPRINGS WOMEN'S JAZZ FESTIVAL

Dedicated to Empowering the Female Presence in the Arts

PRESENTS

BLUES AT THE WOODSTOCK

SEPTEMBER 19-20, 2025 - PALM SPRINGS, CA

Featuring

RUTHIE FOSTER – MARTHA REDBONE

BETTE SMITH – HABAKA

DR. GAIL JHONSON and the BLUES ALL-STARS 

Pioneering women artists shaping the sound of blues music!

Women, who showcased empowerment, played a crucial role in the early development and popularization of blues music; connecting the blues to the female voice and power. In essence, the history of women in blues is a story of resilience, innovation, and cultural impact. We highlight female blues artists who helped shaped the blues; masterly singers and musicians who don’t always receive the recognition they deserve. These pioneering artists are shaping the sound of blues music, shaping vocal styles, breaking barriers, and paving the way for future generations of female musicians. 

HOME | Palm Springs Women's Jazz Festival | Palm Springs

Worried about the legality of gay marriage and thinking you should get married just in case the laws change and having a problem booking an appointment at the City Clerk's office?

Fera Mostow  

I am a minister and will do marriages for any gay couple that wants to get married before the inauguration free of charge or   until Trump does something that eliminates gay marriage. 

All they have to do is email me and they can come here - Sun City Shadow Hills, and I'll do the ceremony.

Contact Fera at fmostow@gmail.com

Easy/Moderate/Difficult Hikes

Hikes will return in the Fall

Have a great summer

New hikers must register and sign a waiver.

PALS’ no-cost educational seminars provide up-to-date information, resources and opportunities to engage in essential planning ahead conversations before a major health or life-altering event occurs. For info about upcoming PALS Seminars with in-person and zoom registration links click here. 

9:30 to 11 am. 3rd Saturday

September thru June

PALS Death Cafe is a group-led open conversation about mortality that’s not a counseling or bereavement group. There’s no specified topics or designated outcomes. Just bring your questions about any aspect of death and dying that interests you. RSVP for the next PALS Death Cafe here. 

PALS Circle is an hour of enjoyable connection, support and friendship among LGBTQ+ seniors and allies. There's no agenda, no formal topic — just fun conversation and camaraderie each Monday from 6:00 to 7:00 PM on ZOOM. Sign up to receive PALS Circle announcements here. 

The L-Fund empowers cis, trans, and queer identifying lesbians through financial crisis assistance as well as grants in the areas of education, the arts, and health and wellness.

If you would like to donate, please find us at https://l-fund.org/