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My song?
“Fat Is Where It’s At.”
Did I win a Grammy? No. But I am not alone...
Jimi Hendrix never won a Grammy. Neither did Queen. Or Bob Marley. Or Snoop Dogg. Or The Who.
So I’m in very good company!
This year's Grammys kicked off with singer Sabrina Carpenter. She did a full dance routine dressed as a flight attendant, rolling around on luggage carts, strutting along a baggage carousel...
Which is something I briefly considered doing when an airline recently lost my bag.
Sabrina was singing a song called "Manchild." One lyric caught my ear so sharply I actually wrote it down: “I like my men incompetent.”
Sabrina goes on to describe her boyfriend as stupid, slow, and useless, then finishes the thought with, “I choose to blame your mom.”
That tune was up for Song of the Year. Sorry, Ma!
Next up was Best New Artist Grammy. I was pleasantly surprised.
A guy named Leon Thomas came out and sang while playing guitar. Live. No prerecorded tracks. No lip-synching.
A singer named Lola Young sat down at a piano. She played. She sang. At the same time! The song—called "Messy"—was really good.
Sombr came out and sang. He looked like a potential teen idol—thin, androgynous, mop of curly hair--the kind of looks that cause concern with parents everywhere.
Then Olivia Dean sang. She actually sang. With a band. No lip-synching. She sounded Slimsational.
And she won the Best New Artist Grammy.
What really struck me about the show was how refreshing it felt to see people singing and playing with musicians. Not a lot of prerecorded tracks. No small army of dancers sprinting around the stage like their hair had spontaneously combusted.
For the most part it was musicians making music. It felt encouraging, Slim People!
Another big reason I wanted to watch the Grammys?
To see what everyone was wearing!
Justin Bieber came out solo, playing an electric guitar wearing what appeared to be baggy boxer shorts and bedroom slippers and nothing else.
Now, wearing boxers and bedroom slippers at an awards show is probably fine when you’re a young man.
Not sure it would be a strong look for Bob Dylan. Or Smokey Robinson.
Lady Gaga performed wearing what looked like an elaborate lampshade over her head. It was hard to see her face under the shade. At first glance, I thought she had shaved off her eyebrows—like Whoopi Goldberg.
Upon closer inspection, I realized she had dyed them blonde.
I felt bad for all the young women who have spent serious time and money getting their eyebrows tattooed jet black!
Tyler, the Creator came out with a stunning hairdo that resembled the Sydney Opera House.
Sombr wore a suit that looked like he’d accidentally broken his dressing-room mirror and glued the pieces onto his vest and pants.
Jelly Roll won a Grammy for Best Contemporary Country Album. When he went to the podium, I noticed something: Jelly Roll must have been cutting back on the jelly rolls.
He’s lost a lot of weight. Good for him, getting Slim! However, he may need to change his name.
Maybe Celery Stick. Perhaps Plain Rice Cake.
Bruno Mars came out later with a full band and sang live. They were good. 1970s funky good. Bruno wore a headband that reminded me of Rosie the Riveter. And somehow… he pulled it off.
Once again, it was just nice to see real musicians playing with a real singer. No tricks. No tracks. No smoke. No mirrors.
Towards the end of the show, Cher came out to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award Grammy.
Cher is 79 years old and looked fantastic. I'm a big fan. She wore all black. Her dress looked like it had been caught in a woodchipper—but somehow she made it work.
She gave a touching speech about never giving up on your dreams… and then walked off the stage.
Only one problem.
She was supposed to stay and announce Record of the Year!
The host, Trevor Noah, had to bring her back out.
Cher announced the winner as Luther Vandross—which was close, but not exactly correct. The award was actually for the song called "Luther" by Kendrick Lamar and SZA.
Cher caught the mistake and corrected herself, which only made the moment more endearing.
Harry Styles came out to present Album of the Year Grammy wearing a vest with no shirt. There were a lot of young men wearing jackets and vests with no shirts.
Again—fine when you’re in your twenties.
Less compelling when you’re in your nineties after gravity has assumed full managerial control.
Bad Bunny won Album of the Year. He wore a traditional tuxedo and looked elegant. I was already familiar with his music because...
A few years ago I asked Siri who the most popular recording artist in the world was.
Well, it wasn't Slim Man!
When she said Bad Bunny, I was ashamed to admit I had never heard a single song. So I listened. And I liked it.
Bad Bunny's Grammy-winning album is called Debí Tirar Más Fotos.
My Spanish ain't great, and neither is my English—but I’m pretty sure it means I Should Have Taken More Photos.
Which made me curious...
I checked my laptop.
I currently have over 26,000 photos.
Apparently… I’ve taken enough!
Keep smiling, Slim People. Someone might be snapping your photo!
And remember...it's all about love.
Who loves ya?
Uncle Slimmy
PS: I whipped up some vittles while I was watching the Grammys. I made my famous Lemon-Limoncello Sauce.
It's great over pasta with shrimp, or on some baked salmon with thyme on top. We got thyme!
She's a-so NICE! Here's the YouTube video:
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO
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