A Humorous Take on the

World of Sales and Management


Time for another round of snappy answers to stupid interview questions, my most popular blog post ever. 

And for you hiring managers, some quick tips on how to turn a stupid question into snappy one.  

Mike S.
Most Interview Questions  are Stupid

Most hiring managers ask the same boring questions during their interviews:  
  • Why should I hire you?
  • What is your greatest strength?
  • What is your biggest weakness?
  • Where do you want to be in five years?
  • Why did you leave your last job?
There are two problems with these questions.  First, even the dullest candidate will eventually figure out how to answer these questions if they hear them enough.  And bad candidates go on lots of interviews!  

Secondly, the answers don't really reveal anything interesting. I say it's time to respond to these clunkers with some appropriately sarcastic responses:

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

Q:  Why did you leave your last job?
A:  The same reason you left your last job

Q:  Why should I hire you?
A:  Isn't it your job to figure that out?

Q:  Why do you want to work here?
A:  I want a job. I didn't say I wanted to work

Q:  What is your greatest strength?
A:  Earning big paychecks without feeling guilty
A. Not snoring when I fall asleep at my desk
A. Showing up for work no matter how drunk or stoned I might be.

Q:  What is your greatest weakness?
A:  Inability to concentrate....  look, a butterfly...
A;  There are so many.  Fast cars, fast women, cold beer, the list goes on....

Q:  Where do you want to be in five years?
A:  Suspended indefinitely with full pay
A:  If my plan works, on a beach in a country that does not have an extradition treaty with the USA

Q:  Is there anything else?
A:  Why, wasn't this enough?

Q:  What would your co-workers say about you?
A:  I'm not paranoid, but why do you ask?

Q:  Can you verify your last salary?
A:  I want to make sure I understand.  Your company doesn't know what skills on the market are worth, so you rely on information from an unrelated company to determine what you'll pay your own employees?  
Oh dear, that is unfortunate.  There is a tool that would make this sort of antiquated process obsolete for you.  It's called the internet.  I could show you how to use it, if you're not sure.  It would be my pleasure.

Make a Stupid Question Snappy

Sometimes, a few words are all you need to turn a stupid interview question into a snappy one.  For example, "Why do you want to work here?", is a stupid question, as we have already explained.  

 

Turn this question into a real head-scratcher with a few well-chosen words:  "If you are so smart, why do you want to work here?"  Now, you've posed a paradoxical question that requires deep introspection, self awareness, and quick thinking.  It's like tossing them a hand grenade to see how they handle it.  

 

Stupid Q:  What are you most passionate about?

Snappy Q: Besides yourself, what are you most passionate about?


 

Stupid Q: What is your proudest accomplishment?

Snappy Q: Without bragging or showing false humility, what is your proudest accomplishment?
 

With these questions, your job candidates will be buzzing with befuddlement.  Just what you want!


 

Good luck and good hiring!


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