A Simple Self-Love Practice

At our annual KaleidoSoul SoulCollage® women’s retreat several years ago, Facilitator Anne Boedecker introduced a wonderful exercise at our closing circle. In small groups of 3-4, we took turns telling each person in our group what we loved and appreciated about them, just in a sentence or two. And then, when finished, the recipient of the praise hugged themselves and exclaimed in a loud voice, “And that’s what I love about me!” 

That was one of the most powerful activities I’ve experienced at one of our retreats. There was something so precious about this, and for me it was twofold. One part of it was taking a moment to really pause within myself and notice each person in my group. We’d spent time together throughout the weekend so we knew each other pretty well by the end. It felt special to connect with each woman this way, to offer blessings of praise and recognition. 

The other part was sitting in my own seat, grounding myself in my body, and allowing myself to open to and receive what each person was saying about me. I don’t know about you, but in my own life, I don’t often pause and receive when someone compliments me. Yes, I hear it and I might eveb say thank you, but I often deflect it in some way . . . either by changing the subject or throwing a compliment back to the other person. 

This was a whole new experience for me and it actually made me want MORE of it! 

Remembering this now, I am creating a new intention for myself: when someone says something nice about me, I’m going to take a moment, however brief, to imagine myself hugging myself and saying to myself inwardly, “And that’s what I love about me!” So, if you say something nice to me and I don’t pause and receive what you are saying, it’s okay to give me a nudge to remind me of this.

Putting It Into Practice

The next time someone says something nice about you, take a moment to pause and acknowledge to yourself what they have said. Try not to deflect the compliment by throwing one back at them, or by brushing it off. 

Note that compliments and kind words come in writing, text, and email as well as orally. 

Whether you say “And that’s what I love about me!” to yourself or not… well, that’s up to you. But DO say SOMEthing to yourself that honors what the person has said to you so that you viscerally FEEL the positivity in your body. 

While you’re at it, take a look through your SoulCollage® cards. How many do you have that reflect parts of yourself that you really LOVE? Put them out and all around this week so you’re reminded of how fabulous you are! If you don’t have very many cards like that, make some. Because Y-O-U are worth it!

Anne Marie Bennett is a SoulCollage® Facilitator / Trainer, published author, website goddess, and two-time cancer survivor who was mentored directly by Seena Frost. Anne Marie is a recent transplant to southern coastal Maine where she lives, laughs, and creates with her silver-haired husband and one adolescent feline. She loves exploring all the wildlands including forest and ocean near her new home. Her books about SoulCollage® are available here.

The Healing Pathway of SoulCollage®

90-minute SoulCollage® Zoom

with SoulCollage® Facilitator 

Karen Haas from California

THIS Saturday, December 7, 2024

Time: 12 noon Eastern

FR*EE for our

KaleidoSoul Kindred Spirit members.

Only $10 for non-members.

Easily Accessible from Anywhere in the World! 

Recording available if you can’t attend "live."

Visit this page for more info now.

I’m Linda Woolfson, MA, PhD, SoulCollage® Trainer & Facilitator, Veriditas Labyrinth Facilitator, writer, translator and creativity catalyst. One of the greatest pleasures of being a Facilitator is bearing witness to new SoulCollagers saying as they look at their very first SoulCollage® cards, “I love my cards!” 

Circling Back to Self-Love

Whenever I’m in London I visit my favorite bookshop. Over the past thirty years I’ve watched “Self Help” expand from a small, low-shelf subsection of “Psychology” to having a floor all to itself. Yes, we live in a world where “Self-improvement” is a multi-billion dollar industry. Embedded deep in the mainstream of our still-puritanical culture is the belief that only when we’ve worked long and hard to root out layer after layer of shame, guilt, self-doubt, self-criticism and even self-loathing are we entitled to consider loving ourselves. 

SoulCollage® gives us a deeply supportive alternative to striving for self-improvement. Creating and reading our cards eases us naturally into a self-caring gear. Quite a few of my Neters reflect back to me that I am capable of accepting Diane Von Furstenberg’s invitation: “You’re always with yourself. So you may as well enjoy the company.” It is helpful to have in my deck a Neter to remind me that I can enjoy myself.

This card is from my Committee suit. I call it “My Own Friend.” I am one who surprises myself with a sudden moment of inner mirth. Complete unto myself, I revel in my own company. 

If you don’t have any self-caring cards in your deck how about making some soon? Bearing in mind our cultural tendency to be hard on ourselves, it’s a good idea to create a range of juicy self-care reminder cards to draw in your SoulCollage® readings! 

Self-care however, is often fleeting—a spa day, an evening immersed in an enjoyable book, an afternoon nap. However, there are other dimensions of self-love. What does self-love mean beyond pampering ourselves and giving ourselves the occasional treat? Derek Walcott’s powerful poem “Love After Love” invites us to acknowledge that loving others can be much easier than loving ourselves: 

The time will come 

when, with elation 

you will greet yourself arriving 

at your own door, in your own mirror 

and each will smile at the other's welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Self-love, Walcott suggests, can only be regained as the culmination of a long and circular journey back to some original point at which you naturally loved yourself. As the grandmother of an almost-three-year-old, it is inspiring—and sometimes also a little painful—to bear witness to the (Walcott’s word) elation my grandson experiences when he first peels his own tangerine or climbs to the top of the once-insuperable rope ladder. “Love After Love” opens the door to accepting that for us adults there’s a distance to cover before we can reclaim the capacity to love, appreciate and value ourselves, before we can stand in front of a mirror, look ourselves in the eye, and exclaim “What a wonderful person I am!”

SoulCollage® can be a colorful and subtle process to help us experience more fully and deeply the stages of this journey back to self-love. This Committee suit card is one of my way-markers. I call it “The Apprentice.” I am one who leans into believing that I too can spread my wings and fly. 

The process of returning to self-love is central to the practice of SoulCollage®. It is always heart-warming when new SoulCollagers look at their first cards and say with a glow of surprise, “I love my cards!” In that moment the magic begins. 

Here are some questions and invitations to help you enjoy immersing yourself in SoulCollage® as you circle back to self-love:

• Set a timer for two minutes. Scribble down all your associations with the phrase “self-love.” What emotions are in the mix?
• Give yourself two more minutes to jot down any allies, catalysts, and mentors you can call upon to support and inspire you on your journey to self-love. These Neters might already be represented in your deck via the Community and/or Council suits, or they may inspire you to create new cards for them. 
• Create three new cards around the theme of self-love. Be as wildly diverse as you wish! 
• Once you have created three new cards, ask them how they connect with your journey of self-love. 
• Now it’s time to consult your whole deck. Draw three cards at random, eyes closed. Ask them “What part do you play in my journey of self-love?” 
• And . . . if you don’t yet have a Happy Child card, now’s your time to make one. 

As you delve further into discovering what self-love is for you, remember the wise and kind words of Dr Seuss: “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” 

Linda Woolfson, MA, PhD is a SoulCollage® Facilitator and Trainer, Veriditas Labyrinth Facilitator, writer, translator and creativity catalyst. She leads a dual-based life between the United Kingdom and Portugal, running SoulCollage® and creativity workshops, SoulCollage® Trainings, and retreats in both countries. She trained with Seena Frost as a SoulCollage® Facilitator in 2010 and has been a SoulCollage® Trainer since 2014. She loves delving into the depths of SoulCollage® and introducing others to our empowering process. To find out more about Linda’s workshops, SoulCollage® Facilitator Trainings and retreats visit her website Collage Your Life.

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6 Zoom Workshops * 7 Facilitators

Many Facets of Our Younger Selves

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This all-new, totally-unique SoulCollage® Zoom series is for you if...

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