36th International Two-Spirit Gathering

The 36th International Two-Spirit Gathering will be held in Western Shore, Nova Scotia, Canada from July 23-27, 2023. Registration information is coming soon. Download the poster and follow their Facebook page to stay up to date.

27th Annual Montana Two Spirit Gathering

The 27th Annual Montana Two Spirit Gathering will be held in Flathead Lake, MT August 16-20, 2023. The purpose is to celebrate Indigenous Two Spirit People. Registration for the event is required. To register, click here.

It's so important to remember that you are never alone and that there are people out there who support and love you for who you are.

By Adonis Fernandes

In recent years, the topic of mental health has spiked in discussions; personal, political, interpersonal, and many other ways, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic. During these discussions, it was established that it is important to take care of mental health for overall well-being, but what is mental health and why is it important? Mental health is equally as important as physical health, and mental health can impact interpersonal relationships, self-esteem, and overall outlook on the world. It is beneficial to take care of mental health through means of self-care, connecting with friends and family, and participating in hobbies that give joy. In a photo essay by Chris Bull, Joseph Arujo shares some insight and valuable tips on how to take care of mental health. (Photo Essay) One of Arujo’s first tips is about the importance of connecting with family and friends. He says, “It’s easy to feel isolated, especially when we are all on social media constantly. Making sure to see your friends every day will help you keep a positive frame of mind because it reminds you that you are not alone; we are all in this together.” It is easy to get caught up in juggling between work, school, friends, family and trying to find time for yourself. However, something as simple as having dinner with a friend or your family can make you feel more connected and less lonely. Arujo continues to share another mental wellness tip.

“Whenever my emotional health feels stuck, stimulating my brain with a great book or conversation, or class always helps me get out of a rut. I love the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, which is about building strong mental health habits. Positives can overtake the negatives in thought habits.” Having hobbies that can help take your mind off of the stressful things in life are a key in taking care of mental wellness. Hobbies do not have to be a huge overwhelming project, they can be something simple like listening to your favorite music, reading a book like Arujo suggests, journaling, or going on a walk. Hobbies can help make a stressful day more manageable. Continuing, Arujo shares his favorite place in the library, a hidden hallway that has a lot of natural light coming through the window. This is where he comes to meditate.

“Light is an antidote to depression. It lifts your spirits and puts you in a positive mind frame. Light pours in through the window at this spot, and the quiet allows me to focus on myself and my own needs, which sometimes get lost in the clamor of the outside world.” Again, it is easy to get overwhelmed and lost in the business of everyday life. But taking a moment to take a breath and meditate, pray, smudge, or to reframe your mindset can help slow down your day and help get your train of thought back on track. Continuing, Arujo shares how small acts of kindness can have a ripple effect. He says, “There’s a ripple effect of kindness. Whether it’s buying a coffee for a stranger at the cafe or giving someone a flower, it can encourage them to do the same for someone else, and then so on and so on until the world is a better place.” It is easy to miss small acts of kindness in action, but when you do see it happen or when it happens to you it is heartwarming and encouraging. These small acts can be as simple as holding the door open for someone, smiling at someone, giving someone a compliment and acknowledging someone's presence. These small acts of kindness can leave a huge impact on someone’s day.

These are just a few tips that Joseph Arujo shared in the photo essay by Chris Bull (Photo Essay). To reiterate, it is easy to get caught up in the business of our everyday lives, but taking the time to care for yourself and others can benefit your mental wellness and the people around you. Take time and care for yourself so that you can care for the people you love and cherish. 

Each newsletter, a Two-Spirit ally reflects on their journey of learning from our Two-Spirit relatives. For this section, our guest contributor is Adonis Fernandes, who interviewed a mother who shared her own experience of raising a Two-Spirit child.

Acceptance: An Interview with the Mother of a Two-Spirit Child

By Adonis Fernandes

I conducted an interview with a mother of a Two-Spirited child to learn her point of view, how she navigates being a mother of a Two-Spirited child, and the sacred background in which Two-Spirited individuals operate in her tribe. She also shared some advice for parents who may have a Two-Spirited child. Parents are their children's first teachers, first role models, and first supports. Having parental support as a two-spirited individual can have an influential and positive impact for both the parents and their children.

What were your ideas and/or conceptions on the LGTQ+ Community prior to having a child that was LGBTQ+?

As a large northern plains tribe, Gros Ventre, MT, we have several friends and family that were Two-Spirit people. It was not anything different from being male or female, they were Two-Spirit, which was just the way it was. They were born that way. They were never treated any differently from the other kids or people in the family. I grew up with and around Two-Spirit people and it was never a shock. The non-Native world is the one that makes a big distinction between the different sexual orientations. I think it was more of a shock when I got a better understanding on how non-Natives think about Two-Spirit people, non-binary people, or people who are overall different. In our family and in our tribe, those differences were never different, they were normal. I grew up around Two-Spirited individuals thinking and believing that that’s just the way they are, that’s just the normal part of their being, they were born that way. That wasn’t a choice that they made, they wouldn’t say “I’m going to be this today and that tomorrow,” it’s just how they were born. I have always accepted other people’s differences, that’s how they are.

Did your point of view or ideas of the LGTQ+ plus change when your family member came out to you? If so, how did they change?

My Two-Spirit family member, he came into my life when he was only a baby, he was about two or three months old. I raised him since then and his Two-Spiritedness was dominant at a young age. Before he was a year old, we knew he was Two-Spirit. It was just the way he was, and we didn’t think anything different of him, but we did a lot of protecting because of other people. When you see a little boy who wants to wear a princess crown, who wants to play with all the Barbie dolls, other people put their prejudices against him. Myself, my family, my husband, and his siblings all protected him, and it just became natural to us to always look out for him. We always did that, that was just part of being our family. We were not going to let anybody hurt him. Even when he was little, his cousins all protected him that way. When they were little, they may not have known what was truly happening, but they knew that he was being bullied or picked on for being different. Being a little boy wearing a jingle dress, that’s something that was just natural, it was just the way it was. Why should he go into an all-male grass dancing if he was uncomfortable? He wanted a jingle dress so that’s what he got. He was out there dancing with all the other kids, and that’s just the way we raised him. As a mother of a Two-Spirited person, we spent more time educating other people that he’s normal, that he’s in his own skin, and he is comfortable in his own skin. For other people that were uncomfortable with it that was their problem, not ours, and we were not going to let that affect our child. When he did come out to us, it was for him. When he finally did make the announcement, it was more for his benefit and for us, it was a sigh of relief, like finally he is accepting himself as he is. We can keep moving forward.

What was your initial reaction to the coming out? Would you change how you reacted with your current knowledge that you have now?

Well, I think my reaction at the time was a huge relief, because he finally accepted himself as a Two-Spirit person. Because I have been accepting him since he was a little boy, just being able to support him was a big relief that he was accepting himself and being able to call himself a Two-Spirited/Gay person, and that he was able to be comfortable in his own skin.

Do you think it is important for the Two-Spirit family member to discuss who they are with their families’ children? Should they explain to them what a Two-Spirit person is and the role they play in their family?

Yes. I think it’s important to do that, because Two-Spirited people are bullied. That’s just the way it is. When younger kids see someone being bullied, they need to understand what bullying behavior is and they need to be able to stop it. When they see their family member, who they love, is being bullied, it is important to call out what is happening. They’re doing that simply because he is different. The other person sees him as different, that is a threat to them. I think it is important to call out that kind of behavior for what it is so that the ally children can stick up for them. Being able to tell them that he is being picked on because other people perceive him as being different. I think it is important to talk to younger people about this.

Do you have any advice or words of encouragement for anyone whose family member has come out or who has a Two-Spirit family member?

To just be accepting. This is not a behavioral issue; this is not a mental health issue. They were born that way, just the same way you were born male or female, you were born that way. Just to accept them as who they are, support them as they go through life and if they are bullied or when other people attack them for being different from who they are, then be there to support them, to stick up for them. Help them because it is not easy for them to go through this. For the people that are still in the closet, that still don’t feel comfortable or still live a double life, or even if you suspect that they’re different, just be patient and be supportive of them. When they do make that big jump to where they are going to come out of the closet and declare who they are, be there for them and support them and reassure them that you love them and that nothing, your relationship, is not going to change. In fact, it will probably be even better because you don’t have that other person’s fear in there anymore. The relationship can just be another normal relationship you have with them.

Do you have any advice for someone who came out, but their family reacted negatively?



Just know that there are people that will accept you for who you are, what you are, how you are. There are people there to support you. If you have to find another family, if you have to create your own community around you, just know there are a lot of people that want to be included in your community to support you. You’re not alone. It might take you some time to find other people that support you, one by one, but there are a lot of us out there that will support you, that will be there for you. Don’t let someone else’s negativity force you back into the closet because you need to be able to live your life just as freely as they do. That’s your right as a human being.