SAPS Graduate Degrees

1-27-2020 - Andy
He's their Bell Cow

1-27-2020 - Andy
He plays above the rim

1-27-2020 - Andy
Has a hot hand

Andy Dolich -- 2015

Sports Analyst's Preparatory School (SAPS)

By Andy Dolich

I remember my days sentenced to summer school for being a high school academic underachiever in Spanish and Physics.

As we move into a new digital decade of describing the wonderful world of sports there is a growing group of on-air athletic analyzers, telestrating trivializers, statistical snobs and alumni jocks with increasingly inane insights who are polluting the airwaves of our favorite sports.

How about the networks, teams, broadcast executives, agents and unionized English teachers sending the laggards of lazy language to a remedial training school?

Every sport is distinguished by its own unique dialect, jargon and insider language when it comes to explaining the complex nature of what the players and coaches are trying to accomplish in order to win the game.

I'm sure you have a list of terms that represent fingernails on the blackboard of your brain while trying to enjoy a game, unless you are a user of the mute button while listening to your favorite radio broadcasters as you watch TV.

Please help me in creating the syllabus of no-nos which will be used for the first class assignment at Sports Analyst's Preparatory School (SAPS).

They are all Professional Athletes, some more finely tuned than others. Their athleticism is a given unless they were previously quantum physicists.

Naming the Sport
We are an intelligent enough group to know what sport we are watching or listening to. A "football play" usually happens in football. He can "shoot the basketball" occurs in a basketball game. He is a "great skater!" Who knew he was playing hockey?

Pick your favorite
Loved the Play Call
We Competed!
He's their Bell Cow
Team Chemistry
High Motor Guy
It is what it is
That was a great at-bat
He put his foot in the ground
The game always slows down for him
His (insert sport here) IQ is impressive
His (insert word here) is off the charts
His mechanics are off ( Of course they are, it's Labor Day!)
He's really in pain
This team won't accept losing
This game will be won in the trenches
Talk about
He plays above the rim
Great players make great plays in big games
Team must play harder
Put on a poster
Plays great in space
That pitch was unhittable
I just talked to coach
He can move the chains
Has a hot hand
He's a downhill runner
Big third down
It's a trap game
There is no tomorrow (Actually there is...)
This environment is insane
His stuff is electric

The National Football League
We aren't morons. We know what sport it is. We know the name of the league. We don't need announcers saying it 39 times during the broadcast.

What Triteness and Bloviators of Ball would be on your list for the first incoming class at SAPS?

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Andy Dolich has over five decades of leadership in the sports industry, including executive positions in the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, pro soccer and lacrosse. Presently Dolich is COO of the Fan Controlled Football League (FCFL) and teaches sports business at Stanford's School of Continuing Studies. Dolich is also co-author of the new book: