Can I See Some ID?
Loser at love
Are you defined by your flaws? What names do you call yourself, privately, or even in front of others? What unfortunate labels are you ready to ditch? Which ones do you habitually sink back into when you're sad, feeling sorry for yourself, or want others to cut you a break?
You might not know this about me, but I have multiple sclerosis.
I know. Sucks. Can't make it go away, can't make it not be true, it's mine until there's a cure. I'm not super-proud of it, but it's really not within my power or control to make that part of my life go away, you know? The truth is the truth.
So I have a choice. I can allow MS to define me, to be the primary lens through which I see myself. I can spend lots of time talking about it, and make sure people get all worked up and feel sorry for me. I can make it a consistent ingredient in my daily life, flavoring my interactions with bitter discomfort and gray sympathy.
You know plenty of people who do this. Their thoughts and conversations center around fretting over the bankruptcy, or detailing the pains of their fibromyalgia, or regretting the extra ten pounds that turned into twenty, or rehashing their parents' long-settled divorce. They are defined by these sad facts.
I don't want to be that. Yes, it's true I have a disease, and when people ask me about it, I'm glad to share my experience. But I don't want "Has Multiple Sclerosis" to be my calling card. And I'm certainly not going to lead with it.
Fact is, having MS lead me to practicing yoga (and yes, it really does help!), which led me to an entire community of wonderful, generous friends, which led me to the perfect venue for coaching and public speaking. It's also taught me to savor my health.
I don't think you want your baggage/mishaps/illnesses/sad histories to be your calling card. But keep those dark dramas at the forefront of your mind (and conversations -- even conversations with yourself), then -- you're choosing your definition.
I want to lead with Mom, Wife, Friend, Daughter, Sister, Coach, Business owner, lots of other cool stuff, right? If you need to find a new definition or shake an old one, call me. The first session's on me. I look forward to hearing from you!