Devotional

I looked into her eyes knowing that behind the sweet smile and hard lines there had been a life of hardship and sorrow, one that only God knew really. Even she would not have the words to tell. The loneliness was evident as she shyly took her place alone waiting her turn to receive the touch of another--the warmth of a loving hand tenderly grooming her worn ones. Even though our time together was as a moment in eternity, it seemed like forever with the silence between us as I washed and worked with her street--hardened, blistered feet. Except for an occasional "aha" and a quiet giggle in response to a ticklish spot, her only words were "I walk a lot."

As I returned that day from my time at "Room in the Inn," an inner-city ministry to the homeless who live on the streets of Nashville, I reflected on the differences, and the similarities, between my life and this lonely hurting woman. While I would return home that night to a comfortable home in suburbia, she would likely sleep in a cold and dangerous corner of the city. I would return to the love of family and friends; perhaps she had no one who truly loved and cared for her. Yet, her loneliness reminded me of my own at times.

Moments of "aloneness" among clergy spouses are quite common. Sometimes they result from our own defensive mechanism of protective behaviors that arise from a desire to guard our families from the challenges of living life in "the fish bowl." Other times these moments are simply a geographic loneliness---a separation from our extended family ties. However, behavioral scientists tell us that most often they are the "I need a friend" loneliness. We can be surrounded by family, church members, and even those who desire our friendship only to find that we are still searching for a special someone.

For the pastor's wife, making friends can be complicated. Have you found that very few of your church members really know how to relate to you in a genuine and caring way? It's really not their fault. They just don't understand who you are, or even what you are, and the result is while they want to support you and your husband, they sometimes just don't know how.

Although loneliness can be a very real part of ministry, my prayer reflects that of another clergy who writes about a painful journey. The thoughts are from the book Married to a Pastor by H.B.London and Neil B. Wiseman: "Our Lord's memory of His own terrible loneliness is the motivation behind His words in the final chapter of Matthew. 'And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age.' That helped me see my situation and my help. Now I may feel lonely, but when I am reminded of the reality of Jesus Christ, my loneliness disappears in His presence. I continue to pray for an earthly spiritual friend that will be the minister of God's comfort to me in my lonely time. Until then, praise God for His promise to be with me always."

If you have not already found that spiritual friend, I encourage you to allow God to lead you to her and begin a life of sharing in the joy and comfort He will give through another who shares this journey as a pastor's wife.

Malinda

Reprinting April 2011 E-News

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

Loneliness, even frustration and discouragement, need not shut down a cheery Christian..........People can be happy though lonely.

“I do not look to the end for all the happiness; I get happiness as I go along. Notwithstanding I have trials and afflictions, I look away to Jesus. It is in the strait, hard places that He is right by our side, and we can commune with Him, and lay all our burdens upon the Burden Bearer, and say, ‘Here, Lord, I cannot carry these burdens any longer.’

54 MLT 77.2-77.3, Ellen G. White, p.16

"Heaven is open to our petitions and we are to come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace in time of need."

E.G. White, Prayer, p. 15.4.

• Remember Erin Mercill as she mourns the loss of her brother.
• Pray for Daniella Little and her husband William as they come alongside new members with strength and courage to face the devil's attempts to discourage them after their recent evangelistic series.
• Remember Sandra Fagre as she supports her sister in her unmet expectations of her desire to grow her family.
• Pray God's blessing on Mayrelis Garcia connection with a young mother newly diagnosed with cancer.
• Pray for April Silva as she supports her husband in public campus ministries around the conference.

Getting to Know You

Erin and her husband Jonathan Mercill come to us from Alaska and now serve the Somerset, Grove, and Danville churches in Kentucky.

Erin was born in Southern California and homeschooled her academy days. She works presently as a tax associate.

She says: I was baptized as a child, then became an SDA by profession of faith the day before I got married."

Erin also shares: "I met my husband on Yahoo Personals. We had a lot in common: homeschool, moms who were teachers, traveling to Africa, and regular church attendance." They were married in September 2004 and now have three children, Joseph 19, Joshua 17, and Jesha 13.

Erin has a special interest in ice skating, sewing and crocheting, singing and playing the piano. As a family they enjoy games, movies, and hiking.

Some favorite Bible verses for Erin are:

Romans 8:38-39 (NLT) "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Isaiah 40:31 (NLT) "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

Zechariah 3:17 (NLT) "For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."

Welcome, Erin! Kentucky-Tennessee Conference is happy you are now a part of our team! May God's richest blessings be on you and your family as you minister to those in your new home.

Pastors Jeremy and Brooke Wong

Beautiful song introduced at our retreat

Belovedness

Lyrics

You've owned your fear and all your self-loathing

You've owned the voices inside of your head

You've owned the shame and reproach of your failure

It's time to own your belovedness

You've owned your past and how it's defined you

You've owned everything everybody else says

It's time to hear what your Father has spoken

It's time to own your belovedness

He says, "You're mine, I smiled when I made you

I find you beautiful in every way

My love for you is fierce and unending

I'll come to find you, whatever it takes

My beloved"

You've owned the mess you see in the mirror

You've owned the lies that you're just not enough

You've been so blinded by all you're comparing

It's time to own your belovedness

He says, "You're mine, I smiled when I made you

I find you beautiful in every way

My love for you is fierce and unending

I'll come to find you, whatever it takes

My beloved"

You are completely loved and fully known

Beloved, believe He died to make your heart His home

And He says, "You're mine, I smiled when I made you

I find you beautiful in every way

My love for you is fierce and unending

I'll come to find you, whatever it takes"

He says, "You're mine, I smiled when I made you

I find you beautiful in every way

My love for you is fierce and unending

I'll come to find you, whatever it takes

My beloved"

It's time to own your belovedness

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Tony Wood / Michael Farren / Ben Shive / Sarah Kroger

Belovedness lyrics © Curb Congregation Songs, Farren Love And War Publishing, Integrity's Praise! Music, All Essential Music, Integrity's Alleluia! Music, Tony Wood Songs, Fiat Music

These videos and lyrics are a little reflection of our recent spring retreat, remembering our Belovedness as Sarah's daughters. Until next year, may we lean into the theme to not go ahead of God---rather let His good and perfect plans take us where He would have us go.

Malinda