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July 11, 2021 ASCF e-newsletter

Dear Friends,

Hope you all enjoyed a great holiday. We would like to share a few resources you might like to review as well as some programs and trainings you won't want to miss. Take a look.

Have a great week. ASCF staff, 973-728-8744

SCIENCE CLUB FOR KIDS

On Saturday, July 17 at 10 am there will be a special program for children in Grades 2 through 5. This is co-sponsored by the Highlands Family Success Center and ASCF. A scientist and a special education science teacher will offer an activity featuring carbon divide (CO2). The group will make some CO2 and do several interesting experiments with the C02 they make. It will be held at Highlands Success Center, 1801 Greenwood Lake Turnpike in Hewitt. This is free but registration is required. Call 973-506-6575 or copy and paste

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScYPOIoDabf1HAcBvdqy1J2ciVY05AApTngxAzgOq1fzgT-ng/viewform

Seven Ways Busy Parents Can Help Their Children Feel Special

by Dr. Jane Nelsen

Do you ever wonder, "Will my children suffer because they have a working parent? Will they be deprived?" The answer: That depends on what you believe and what you do.

Many happy, successful people have been raised by working parents. It is not the circumstance of life, but how we perceive those circumstances and what we do that has the greatest impact. Each person decides whether challenges will be stumbling blocks or stepping-stones to joy and success in life. Understanding this does not negate the struggles and concerns of working parents, but it can offer hope and a basis for dealing with the struggles in ways that benefit rather than harm children.

Let's begin with your beliefs. It is a myth that children who have a working parent are automatically more deprived than children who have a stay-at-home parent. Many stay-at-home parents are just as busy as you are. However, children usually adopt the attitudes of their parents—or learn to manipulate in areas of weakness. If you are feeling guilty and fearful that your children will be deprived, chances are they will feel deprived. They may develop a victim mentality, or they may play on your guilt for special privileges. On the other hand, if you have an optimistic, courageous attitude, your children will be influenced and will learn from you.

Give up the belief that you have to make it up to your child for being a working parent. Present your circumstances with a positive attitude: "This is how it is, and we are going to benefit from how it is."

The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a hopeful outlook on life no matter what your circumstances—and all circumstances, no matter how difficult, offer opportunities to learn and grow. Focus on how you can make the best of your present opportunities as a working parent to help your children feel special. Following are seven possibilities

1.) Take time for hugs

No matter how busy you are, there is always time for a three-second hug. That is a substantial hug that can lift spirits and change attitudes—yours and your child's. Sometimes a hug can be the most effective method to stop misbehavior. Try it the next time you are feeling frazzled or your child is whining and see for yourself. Give hugs in the morning, right after work, several during the evening, a longer one just before bed. You will both feel very special.

2.) Hold weekly family meetings

Twenty to thirty minutes a week is a small investment of time with huge payoffs. Children feel very special when they are listened to, taken seriously and have their thoughts and ideas validated. That is the immediate payoff. The near future payoff is that you can solve many daily hassles during a family meeting. Your kids can help you create morning and bedtime routines and come up with creative ways for handling chores. It is amazing how much more willing children are to follow rules and plans they have helped create. The long-term pay off is that children learn important life skills such and communication skills and problem-solving skills. Think of the benefits to their future jobs and relationships. It takes much less time to hold weekly family meetings where children learn to cooperate and solve problems than the time it takes to nag, lecture, and scold. During busy times parents often find relief or create a diversion from a problem by simply inviting the child to put the problem on the family meeting agenda. Everyone learns to trust that a respectful solution will be found soon.

3.) Ask for help

Children need to feel needed. It is much different when you ask for help in an inviting manner instead of lecturing and scolding. "I would appreciate anything you can do to spruce up the family room before dinner," usually invites much more cooperation than, "How many times have I told you not to leave all your stuff all over the family room!" Children feel special when they are helping. They don't feel special when they are being scolded and put down.

4.) Spend regularly scheduled, special time

This does not take very much time and can be comforting to parents and children when it is part of the schedule. Very young children need special time daily for ten to fifteen minutes. This doesn't mean you never spend more time than that. It does mean that you have scheduled special time for you and your child to count on and look forward to. One mother scheduled time with her daughter for reading books or playing games from 5:30 to 5:45. Her daughter loved helping her mother start dinner first while looking forward to their special time. If the phone rang during the special time, Mom would say, "I'm sorry I can't talk right now. It is Tara's special time. "Tara would beam. After the age of six, 30 to 60 minutes a week works well. You may be able to talk teenagers into a date night for just the two of you once a month. The amount of time is not as important as the attitude created by scheduled "special" time. Children feel special when they know that time with them is as important to you as all your other appointments and tasks. During other times when you are just too busy or too tired, children will not feel discounted (and you don't feel guilty) when you can say, "I'm too busy or too tired now, but I'm looking forward to our special time."

5.) Share sad and happy times as part of the bedtime routine

When tucking your child into bed at night, take a few minutes to let her share the saddest thing that happened to her that day. Just listen respectfully without trying to solve the problem. Then share your saddest time of the day. Follow this by taking turns sharing your happiest event of the day. You may be surprised at the things you hear when your children have a few minutes of your undivided attention to evaluate their day and hear about yours.

6.) Take a few seconds to write a note for your child's lunch bag, pillow, or mirror

One very busy Mom decided to put a note in her daughter's lunch bag every day for a year. She took time on airplanes or while waiting for an appointment to write several notes or silly rhymes in advance, such as "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Every day, I think about you. " When she traveled, she gave the childcare person notes to tuck into the lunch bag for each day she was gone. Her daughter's friends gathered around her at lunch in eager anticipation to hear the note of the day. Her daughter felt very special.

7.) When you run a short errand in the car, ask one of your children to ride along

Spend as much time as possible together. You might make a big deal of this by creating a chart during a family meeting so you can check whose turn it is. During these rides be a closet listener (don't ask questions). You may be surprised at how much your children may open up and start talking when there is no "inquisition" that invites them to clam up. Simply let them know how glad you are to have a few minutes to be with them, and share special moments from your own life or day. Kids feel special when you share yourself.

Helping your child feel special is a matter of planning and habit, not a lack of time. The fringe benefit of making it a habit to help your child feel special is that you will feel like a special mom or dad.

Live Webinar on Thursday, July 15, at 1 pm ET

9 Ways to Prime Your Child for a Positive School Year

Register for this free expert webinar to learn how to help the new school year get off to a strong start. Sign up and you will receive the free webinar replay link after 7/15 as well!

To register copy and paste:

https://goto.webcasts.com/starthere.jsp?ei=1449817&tp_key=cfa41bc8b6#register

The past year was tough, confusing, and emotionally draining for students (and their parents). Pandemic learning arrangements tripped up and, in some cases, halted kids’ progress in school. A year and half after mastering Zoom, many students will return to school in the fall with a more typical, in-person schedule.

What can and should parents do to help their children recoup the learning losses of the past year and prepare for the new school year? What are some of the most effective ways to make this coming school year more productive and positive for your student?

Learning experts Susan and Paul Yellin discuss the key things that parents and students can do right now to help the new school year get off to a strong start.

In this webinar, you will learn how to:

Review your child’s IEP/504 Plan to make sure it is still working—and what to do if it is not
Maximize your child’s medication (if they are taking it) for the new school schedule
Engage in a subject-by-subject review of last year’s instruction — what went well and where things fell apart
“Frontload” content in the most challenging classes
Spend time cultivating areas of strength, talent, and affinity
Work on strengthening an area of challenge
Use online tools to fill skill gaps in math, reinforce recent learning, and preview upcoming materials
Develop a “growth mindset” to help build resilience and self-esteem

Family Partners Virtual Program Lunch and Learn

Wed July 15, 7-8 pm

Exceptional Plans for Extraordinary People

Caring for a family member with special needs can seem to leave little time for anything else. Financial planning may feel overwhelming or beyond reach. Join us on Thursday, July 15th at noon, when Earl Pedersen and Barry Friedson, both Financial Advisors in the Special Needs Division of Allied Wealth Partners, will discuss valuable information including

The differences between ABLE accounts and Special Needs Trusts How to be sure a loved one will be taken care of financially How to plan for a lifetime of needs for a loved one Caring for a family member with special needs can seem to leave little time for anything else. Financial planning may feel overwhelming or beyond reach. Join us on Thursday, July 15th at noon, when Earl Pedersen and Barry Friedson, both Financial Advisors in the Special Needs Division of Allied Wealth Partners, will discuss valuable information including: Pedersen and Friedson are well versed in a variety of special needs topics, including government benefits, special needs trusts, guardianship and transition services.

To Register copy and paste

https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tZAqc-6qrDIpy-dnj2bPgp4IdP0WZn1iHA

NJCTS

The Genetics of TS & Saying I Do

Thursday, July 22 at 3 p.m.

Researchers may not have all the answers for the causes of Tourette Syndrome and the related disorders but through numerous studies they do know that genetics is a contributing factor. There is consistent data to demonstrate that TS is familial and that other chronic tic disorders are biologically related. There is also evidence that suggests a biological relationship between TS and the co-occurring disorders.

Individuals with TS may ask the question, “If I have TS, will my children have TS?” or “What happens if I decide to get married, how do I explain the medical implications to my intended spouse?” These are the thoughts that may run through one’s mind. In this discussion, you will learn more about the genetics of TS, and how to help your partner understand the medical implications for an inherited disorder.

Facilitated by Dr. Gary Heiman and Christine Seymour

To Register copy and paste:

https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZAtdO6urjgvGtPw9S-JEQoGOafxlEmPVdUJ

Calling Teens with Special Needs

Join this activity Just for you

Maria, ASCF's Youth Coordinator, will lead “Roll Up Your Sleeves” Activity Hour for Youth ages 15-21 this coming Thursday , July 15 from 7:30-8:30 pm (Other sessions are on Aug 12, and Sept 16) We will focus on discussing teens post-high school goals.

Youth will discuss various paths to take after high school, including college, trade school, job/career opportunities, volunteerism, and self-employment and how to achieve these goals. Registration is required.

mariaw.ascfamily@gmail.com or call l 973-728-8744 and leave a message.

Join Mom Squad Support Group!

Thursdays, July, 15, 22, and 29 from 6 - 7 PM

Don't miss getting to know this amazing group of parents who share the joys and challenges of raising a child or children with special needs. This is a positive, supportive environment focused around your concerns. Julie from ASCF and Diana Varga, from Family Partners facilitate the group.

Registration: Copy and paste

https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJIodu-spz8iHNbFNlmcYsUK2Oj1rX8PxAJp

Need info? Contact Diane Varga dvarga@familypartnersms.org cell: 862-273-5 046

SUMMER VIRTUAL ENRICHMENT GROUP FOR YOUTH

• 4-week program

• Must have Medicaid

• Virtual groups will be offered to youth in Bergen, Morris, Essex Sussex, and Passaic Counties.

• The group will run Monday – Thursday from 10:00 – 11:30 am Starting on July 12, 2021 and end on August 6, 2021

The virtual sessions will encourage your child in many ways:

 Social Skills  Anger Management Skills  Cyber Safety Skills  Communication Skills  Mindfulness/Self-Care

Announcing a Summer Virtual Enrichment Group Program for Youth

Free for families with Medicaid/Grants available

Limited spots available. Register your youth today by calling 862-272-2221 or email outpatient@centerffs.org